I don't suppose there is really a good answer to this, but it's making me a bit sad. 4yo dd1 seems very tense to me, and I think it is probably to do with dd2 becoming a cute interactive baby at 3 months now. Dd1 is very keen on the baby, always wants to help with nappies, play with her etc etc. But she is also very tense at the moment, even when she is ostensibly playing and being happy. And she keeps trying to look cute and ikkle and pressing up to me. While I can see why she might be doing this, I can't help finding it intensely irritating.
I have decided to just try and keep her as busy as possible, so am planning to take her to lots of museums etc on the days when she isn't at nursery.
Has anyone experienced anything similar? I feel so sorry for her when she isn't actually there and I am thinking about what it must be like for her, but honestly when she is around she is driving me nuts. She is often rude and refuses to do as she is asked, and tries to conduct interminable conversations in which her every sentence begins 'why...' And the faux cute thing is also really annoying. I know I must sound horrible, and I am worried that I am not being a great mother to her at the moment.