Any advice- Distraught without daddy.

[Gravitygirl]

Has anyone one else had to deal with this and found really good ways of coping they can pass on to me, Im failing miserably. My DD 3 is a complete daddys girl. He works 6/7 days a week and she is in bed before he gets home at night She is absolutley distraught when he goes to work in the mornings, waking up as he does ( 5.30 am) and sceaming, tears, wetting herself and being sick as she is so upset about him going. Add to this the night time wakings screaming for him, its all very heartbreaking, she wont let me near her its daddy she wants.
This is terribly hard for my DH and myself as then our DS 1 wakes up and everyone is in tears as we are all so tired/emotional etc.

What on earth can we do, I really have no idea. Everything we do try has a knock on effect. Kids are shattered so not a great start to the day.
This isnt a phase, unless its a 18 month plus phase.............

Any advice?

Is it possible for him to put her to bed when he comes home? If she's waking early and in the night - she must be losing a lot of sleep anyway. What time does he get home?

Dh brings work home, plays then gets dd ready for bed, then carries on working. Would it be possible to do anything like that?

In your place, we would be moving heaven and earth to change your dh's working hours. Does he have a long commute?

We had this, as DH works away. Trouble is though genuine, I realised the more I comforted DS the more he did it - sort of a learned behaviour cycle, ie if I cry I get attention, and I miss my daddy therefore I cry and I get attention iyswim! Am not at all saying don't comfort her, but can you think of something to change the pattern? Like Acinonyx says change bedtime perhaps so he puts her to bed, or could he record a story or two for her, so she goes to sleep listening to his voice? Or maybe he could say to her as you get upset when I go, I've arranged something nice with mummy to help - eg snuggling up in bed and reading or curling up on the sofa and watching a bit of tv, or even a nice treat of a snack to start the day. Might be worth a try to break the pattern.

ps: whatever you do, don't let your DH do what my brother has done. His daughter's now 11 and he still talks to her in a babyish voice and she does the same back. Honestly it's horrendous, not to mention embarrassing and she runs rings round him, transforming from a lovely near teenager when he's not there, to a spoilt brat who only talks in baby language when he is. He hates it, but knows he set it up, feels guilty because he's still out at work a lot and is too soft to take her on.