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Original poster

If you had an early waking toddler (say, 5am), did he/she grow out of it or did you find a solution?

27 replies

naturelover · 26/01/2009 06:18

If you figured out something that worked, please can you share your wisdom.

DD aged 17 months has been waking early since she turned one. Initially it was teething but right now I don't think she's teething. I'm trying some tips from the No Cry Sleep Solution, I'm only two weeks in but so far no change whatsoever.

Basically she is only sleeping 10 hours at night and 1.5-2 hours after lunch. I'm 8 weeks pregnant and about to collapse with exhaustion, am feeling totally depressed and unable to cope. She also cries out in the night several times, and each time it wakes me up though usually after a few minutes she settles herself.

I'm so desperate I'm even considering calling my health visitor for advice, so please share your tips or just reassure me this will pass before I have a nervous breakdown!

Thanks

OP posts:
JustKeepSwimming · 26/01/2009 06:31

Mostly just reassurance from me, you are not alone! However alone you might feel at 5am!

My DS1 (now 2.8yrs) went through a major phase of this from summertime onwards. He had dropped his nap (and shortening your dd's is one idea) but still would only sleep 10hrs. he was knackered too.

The one thing that does seem to have had an effect was his grandma (MIL). she 'gave' us some milky bar buttons and we set up a sleep chart when she was here. a smiley face and a sweet for breakfast when he made it to 6am, and a sad face and no sweetie if he was up earlier.
once he got the idea, we could put him back to bed in the morning reminding him if he wanted his sweet later he needed to go back to sleep for '10' minutes. sometimes, if he woke v early but made a good effort at going back to bed we would say 5.45. was good enough and come downstairs. otherwise was soul destroying putting him back in bed every minute for another 15mins.

have to go, back later...

foxytocin · 26/01/2009 06:32

i was cosleeping with dd at that age.

have you tried starting her bedtime routine earlier say by dimming all lights you can dim at an earlier time. it may help to move her bedtime earlier as well as lengthen it by 15 -30 mins.

i would, since i co-slept, go to bed with her at this earlier time and aim for a nap myself as well as to encourage her to move her bedtime erlier.

by an earlier bedtime, dd also tended to say asleep longer in the AM.

JustKeepSwimming · 26/01/2009 07:12

Sorry ds2 crying, so can't carry on properly but stick with it, get lots of early nights yourself and use that early hour to catch up on your MNing

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Gateau · 26/01/2009 08:47

Have no advice, I'm afraid, but am in a similiar boat so am watching this with interest!
DS is 21 months and for the last three weeks has been a nightmare getting to bed. We leave him at about 8.30 and he cries but eventually goes to sleep. Then he invariably wakes in the night - and DH or I usually go to sleep in the big bed with him. And then he's up agin at 6am - 5.30 yesterday!
Have tried everything and we really don't know what to do next.
So I empthise with you totally; you are not the only one. Have just heard though about someone's child who sleeps from 7 to 7. Errrrgh! Are we doing something wrong??!

Bumbleybee · 26/01/2009 09:02

All of mine have been bad sleepers and early risers, I have tried many things with varying success.

DS1 at 4 is just starting to sleep later in the mornings, DS2 and DD are invariably up by 5.30 am.

I have finally coped with it by changing my attitude to it, and just adjusting my day around them, I am usually in bed by 9pm, and will nap in the day if there is a chance, it isn't going to last forever and I am really looking forward to their teenage years when I can wake them up!

In my opinion some children just wake early, I am sure it is possible to teach them to sleep longer, but I couldn't deal with the crying at that time in the morning, I would sooner get up and start the day well.

castille · 26/01/2009 09:03

My eldest didn't need much sleep as a toddler.

We figured that if she needs 10 hours at night, we'd put her to bed 10 hours before we wanted her to get up. So she didn't go til 9 or 9.30pm, but at least DH and I got our full quota of sleep, which is what you sound like you need more than a long child-free evening.

It got much better when she started preschool and stopped having a daytime nap at around 2.5 years.

Gateau · 26/01/2009 09:09

Meant to add, OP, that I wouldn't worry about how much sleep DD is getting, as far a her health is concerned.
We were worried that DS was getting too little, compared to other peole's DC - most of them get about 12 hours! But our GP said he would sleep as much as he needed and as long as he was functioning okay during the day then there's absolutely nothing to worry about. He does have a good daytime nap though.

Thefearlessfreak · 26/01/2009 09:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

hazeyjane · 26/01/2009 09:26

dd2 (20 months) wakes between 5 and 6 every morning (earliest has been 4.30!) she has an hour nap in the day and goes to bed between 6.30 and 7.

We have tried all the above mentioned things (later bedtimes, different naps, wake to sleep, bedtime snack etc), nothing makes any difference, and she is just not tired in the morning, as soon as she wakes up, she is raring to go! We are coming round to the fact that she might just be an early riser, especially, because she doesn't seem to be cranky during the day. I just try to have everything in place so that the mornings are easier ie her milk is ready, I have a cup of tea half made, pile of books and puzzles on the sofa (or remote control for baby tv if I am really knackered!). It must be very hard if you are pregnant, sorry that I can't offer you a magic solution!

Original poster
naturelover · 26/01/2009 09:31

Thanks everyone, for reassuring me I'm not alone, and helping me get some perspective.

DD goes to bed at 7pm or 7.30pm. She goes to bed beautifully, I am grateful for that. She's a great eater and I offer plenty of snacks as well as three square meals. She is breastfed on waking and then at bedtime.

I'm nervous of moving her bedtime later because of what the NCSS says about an optimum bedtime being 6.30-7.30pm for most children. She's gone to bed at 8pm a few times but still woke earlier, only more tired.

Until she turned one she was one of those babies who slept 7-7... so I guess I'm trying to kid myself that she can return to that. I guess 10+2 hours is enough although this morning she is most definitely exhausted from not enough sleep.

I'm currently trying the NCSS trick of trying to "reset" her hunger signals by holding off her breastfeed for a while after she wakes, instead of feeding her immediately on waking as I always have done. It feels a bit cruel but I know that being hungry at breakfast time is a "habit", for adults as well as children.

DH has banned me from calling our dreadful HV, he said surely the combined wisdom of MN is more use than her, and he's right... so I won't call her I promise! I've been avoiding her since DD was born!

OP posts:
MyNameIsInigoMontoya · 26/01/2009 10:38

I wonder whether it might help to have MORE sleep? - sounds upside-down I know but our DS often sleeps worse and wakes earlier when he is tired, and you said your DD is often tired. So especially if she is quite active, you could try giving her a bit more daytime sleep or an earlier bedtime - it sounds like you have nothing to lose if it doesn't work anyway.
If it's any consolation we had a few months of very early wakeups with DS too (though he was younger, I think it was around 5-7 months?) and that eventually just stopped without us really changing anything! So you might get lucky.

dinkystinky · 26/01/2009 11:47

DS was a 5 am riser - is now (2.9) a 6.30 riser. The things that helped iwth him are making sure he has a steady bedtime routine (he still sleeps for up to 2 hours at lunchtimes) and blackout liners in his bedroom.

Highlander · 26/01/2009 12:02

DS1 grew out of it at approx age 3.

SaveFerris · 26/01/2009 12:10

DS has always been an early riser - between 5 and 6. Now he is 4 its still 6.30am - he is our alarm clock. I used to try to put him back to bed but this is basically when his body tells him to wake up, so I decided to live with it.

I think you kind of get used to it (except on Saturday mornings)! I am now 37 weeks pg with DC no 3 and am actaully gateful to S that I can live easily on around 6 hours sleep. It'll make the inevitable sleep deprivation that is to come more bearable!

x

rubyslippers · 26/01/2009 12:12

try to wake to sleep - it sounds mad bu i have done it and it worked

if you search the archives on here you will find threads on it

basically you wake your DC one hour before their usual wake up - this disrupts their old sleep cycle so they get a new waking time

you need to do it for 3 nights minimum

it is a Baby Whisperer technique - i did it and lived to tell the tale!

Seeline · 26/01/2009 12:17

Ds is now 7 and is still usually up and about at around 5.30 - he has always been like this no matter what we tried. I'm afraid to say that he learnt to use the TV by himself at a very early age - at least we could doze for a while I too am waiting for those teenage years Bumblybee!

MrsJamin · 27/01/2009 06:56

I'm in this too - it's been getting progressively earlier than 7, this morning was 4am and I'm working today I found this thread with some ideas. Still not sure how early I should wake him if he's waking earlier and earlier every day. Does anyone know what causes early waking? Is it growth spurts/coincides with developmental advances?

dellyjc · 27/01/2009 09:21

naturelover, you are not alone. My DD, 21 months, has been waking 5-5.30 every day since New Year! There seems to be no reason for it. He makes a screeching noise every couple of minutes until we go in to him. I have tried everything though not with any consistency as I work shifts which is making it even worse. I am at my wits end and at my husband's throat!!! He goes t bed 7.30pm very well, sleeps 1.5 to 2 hours after lunch and goes down well then too. He also cries out in the night but it's in his sleep but like you it wakes me and sometimes I am awake 4/5 times a night yet only in bed 6 hours! I feel quite depressed too but do try to relax. I keep telling myself it's a phase and will pass, it's all that's keeping me going. Good Luck.

susia · 27/01/2009 20:48

I think she is outgrowing the daytime naps. My son was up at 5 am when he was 1year old and sleeping an hour and a half in the day. I cut his sleep in the day to an hour and he slept till 6.30. Then when he was nearly 2 I stopped his sleep altogether and he slept 8-8 ever since. Alot of children have more or less outgrown naps at about 18 months!

Habbibu · 27/01/2009 21:01

Hmm - our experience the opposite to yours, susia. DD (2yrs) was a horribly early waker, but then started to have seriously long afternoon naps (2.5-3hrs) and now sleeps better at night - still wakes at 6ish, but that'll do us now!

electricgem · 27/01/2009 21:18

I had the same problem at the same age and could find no solutions or suggestions. No matter what time ds1 went to bed he still woke at 5am and would not accept anything other than starting the day. He also did the waking in the night thing - you have my sympathy (DH can sleep through anything!) especially if you are expecting.

Only thing that changed it was to change his cot to cotbed. I was totally against it but it was DH's idea and amazingly it worked. He still gets up 6-6.30 (but it's ingrained as our day starts then for work etc) but anything is better than 5! I don't know why it worked but if you can easily try it (i.e. cotbed) might be worth a shot?? ds1 was 18 months at the time. He totally loved his bed straightaway but I know I was lucky (no coming in to find us or getting up etc).

All the best

plod · 27/01/2009 21:56

I am going to try WTS technique tonight!!!! Am going to wake DS at 4.20am and see if it helps him sleep past 5.30. I am absolutely determined to crack this ha. I think it's an ever harder pill to swallow as he has always been such a great sleeper. I will give the cot bed a miss for now as he would not stay in bed (little horror). I will keep you posted on the WTS front!!! Off to bed to get some sleep in before the mission. Wish me luck

littleducks · 27/01/2009 22:12

Dd was like this.......i was the lone mother in the park at 6.30am!!!!

I cant remember what i did to make her sleep, will trawl the archives on here in a moment, i did the leaving breakfast slightly later and later definately

i have noticed the mornings starting to lighten slightly so if you dont have blackouts get them now!

plod · 28/01/2009 13:18

It worked last night!!!!!!!!! I woke DS at 4.30 he went straight back to sleep til 6.50. Will contin ue for the 3 nights. I can't thank people who posted this WTS technique on here enough. Lets hope it wasn't a fluke.

JustKeepSwimming · 28/01/2009 22:16

MrsJamin - sorry to hear you are still having problems with sleep
Are you still feeding?
DS2 started sleeping through when i put him in with his brother at 10.5months (i stopped bf at 11.5mo). He has had the odd 5am-ish wake up. No rhyme or reason i can see.
Anyway, saw & recognised your name from our 9mo old thread so wanted to say hi & chin up, this too will pass......