ds out of nappies at night but not dry.....just need some guidance

[queenrollo]

so......i have shared custody of ds. a couple of weeks ago his dad stopped putting a nappy on him at night (he is 3.6 by the way)......of course this means ds has refused a nappy here at night-time. I've got a waterproof sheet, lots of spare bedding/pyjamas. I have more wet beds than dry in the last couple of weeks. Ds does not wake if he needs a wee. I lift him at our bedtime. I'm having to get up early hours to lift him again. Sometimes he is already wet, sometimes he protests about going and then i am up trying to get him back to sleep. He is usually still wet in the morning when he wakes.

There's no going back now, so how do we move forward. Once i've woken in the early hours to lift him i'm struggling to get back off to sleep myself so am tired, grumpy mum at the moment.

Has anyone got any advice for how to tackle this? I've got the feeling i'm just going to have to ride this out until ds starts waking for a wee.........whenever that may be

No idea - but DS is the same - although we loft him once and he is dry maybe 50-60% of mornings. He has never, ever woken for a wee, and I can't really see it happening any time soon. Still, theres no way he will go back to nappies, so we just keep washing sheets a lot I guess! I keep meaning to get a sticker chart going to see if that helps, but tbh I think he can't help it.

3 and a half is very optimistic for dry nights. Can you not try to put a nappy on? You can buy pull ups that have disney characters on, will he not wear them if you call them bed time pants and get him to help you chose them? A good night's sleep is probably more important for both of you.

I have night time pants....tried to persuade him to wear one and he is having none of it. I am at my ex for doing this but it is done now and so i have to deal with it. I may try to get ds into night-time pants again tonight (we have a new board game he wants to play, maybe i have to bribe him).......i do feel a little undermined by ex over this but things between us are very good otherwise and i am reluctant to upset that by making an issue out of this.
The thing is, if i get him into pants here.....ex won't want to at his and i worry that it will be confusing for ds?

I don't think it will be confusing. He is old enough to understand there are different rules in different houses.Just say this is what we do in mummy's house. It's how I discipline the kids at the nursery where I work, I say "we don't do that at nursery" and they get it.

I've just had a little chat with ds and he is agreeing to the Buzz Lightyear pants in bed. Of course he will have changed his mind by bedtime

Ex and i are very communicative and try to make sure we are consistent with ds, and where there are differences in daily routine (i have ds fri-mon, ex tues-thurs) then we talk about those so we are both aware of how the other deals with him.

It's just that ex can sometimes not think before he does stuff........he needs far less sleep than me, so he lifts ds much later in the night and has no trouble getting back off to sleep when he lifts him in the early hours.

Will see how we go at bedtime.....

good luck! and remember, there is always bribery!!

I used to put ds's nappy on when I went to bed, sometimes after lifting, but didn't always lift him, as as he got older, wasn't ready to wee at my bedtime. He would stay asleep whilst i put it on. He's dry all night now, but doesn't usually wake to go, bladder has grown enough to last all night!

Also covered top sheet with a meter of fleece, like a big nappy liner. If he had wet the bed before I'd put his nappy on, only had to change PJ bottoms, as bed surface would feel dry. He often slept through this, or only partially woke up, and changed bed in morning.

I prefered him not going to bed with a nappy on actually, as felt it was suggesting he wee in it!