How did you decide what sort of childcare to go for when you first started working?

[alittleteapot]

dd is 18 months and has been home with me so far. I'm starting to do bits and bobs of work and need to find regular childcare. I don't think I want her to go somewhere all day yet - maybe 10 till 3 for a couple of days a week, maybe even less time, not sure, I guess that's one of my questions.

She's a very sociable child and I think I've ruled out nanny as I feel that the drop in groups don't provide enough continuity in terms of the children she'll see. She loves her little friends but is quite daunted when faced with lots of strangers. But I guess I could find a nanny share with other children of same age so she's got some friend there.

Other question (stupid) what's the difference between nanny and childminder?

So I guess I'm thinking nursery two mornings a week or childminder. I feel odd about nursery in that I'd quite like to wait until she has more language and can tell me what she's got up to, or, for example, if someone's hurt her. Feel odd about childminder because it's one adult who may have a different parenting style.

I know lots of children go to nursery/nanny/childminder much younger than this, I'm someone who tends to think about things probably too deeply and then get in a pickle.

But your criteria and thoughts on these dilemmas would be gratefully received.

Oh and the other thing I've been wondering about is an old fashioned mother's help type person. My mum's not alive and I suppose she's the one i really want - but as I can't have her, I don't know, someone to make soup when we're ill, or do a load of washing when things have spiralled out of control, play with dd while i tidy up.

thoughts?

Thanks

With a Childminder you would normally take your child to their house and they usually look after other people's children as well.
Nanny usually either lives at yours or comes to yours to look after dcs.

As to preference it depends what your needs are. With the hours you want I think you might be better with a nursery or childminder but probably best to visit a few and get a feel for what is around locally.

Yes, I guess I just need to get out there and then follow instincts. No, don't really want someone coming here so that rules out nanny.

If you contact your family information service (sometimes called childcare information service) they should be able to send you a list of what is available locally and also provide you with an idea of what you should be looking for. I found this very helpful when I was looking.

With regard to being able to tell you what she's been doing, I would be much more worried about a childminder than a nursery. Safety in numbers was my philosophy. My DS goes to a small nursery (only 16 children of mixed ages) which gives the best of both worlds IMO.

When looking at nurseries, follow your gut instincts. Whether or not they achieved an "excellent" from OFSTED for "promoting diversity", or whatever, is far less important than the sure knowledge that they will care for your DD well. It is the staff that are the key for a good nursery, so make sure there's a low turnover so that your DD can build a relationship with those looking after her.

Yes, I've thought that before RVT. I've actually found a nursery i love but they can't start till 2 and a half. will keep looking.

Thanks pt

Our daughter started nursery full time at 6 months because we both work.

She loves it and is very popular there (she is nearly 1yr now.)

We picked somewhere that was not dear (all relative - any full-time childcare is blisteringly expensive because of adult-child ratio and qualifications/certificates required, but this is cheap within that range) and anywhere dear will just fritter the money on equipment that, frankly, small children will climb over to get at the ancient Lego, and near our house to make the trip there and back quick.

That said, there are lots of places near us - but this one is the only one where, when I phoned up to enquire, they asked my daughter's name. I thought this meant they were interested in her as a person rather than as a cheque - and I was right!

I was dead set against a childminder because no-one would be watching on a day to day basis what they were doing.

So I opted for a nursery with DD and then when DS arrived, we had a nanny. I much prefer them being cared for at home in a familiar environment, but nannies are expensive, no doubt about it.

I started by looking at nurseries but couldn't afford private nursery fees and the Council nurseries didn't have any places available nearby for my 10 month old. So I tried looking for a childminder and was very lucky, chose the first of two I met and DS loves it there - he's now nearly 21 months. She has two before and after school mindees and a 7 year old ds of her own, as well as her other 4 kids who are older (3 of them teenagers) and they genuinely seem to really care about him and feel affection towards him. She's teaching him lots of stuff as well.

I think for the sort of hours you are considering a childminder is probably your best bet. I think nurseries are great for slightly older children, but one on one (ish anyway!) is better for tidlies. 10-3 would work nicely for a childminder with children at school. We had a nanny when our children were little. I found it an incredible luxury.

Dd went to nursery from 7 mo as I had the concerns mentioned wrt a childminder - that dd couldn't talk and there was no way of really knowing what went on during the day.

Nursery was very up and down though. Some rooms good, some not so good - and a lot of different carers. Really depends on the staff and the dc's temperament. Dd is VERY shy, and when we moved I switched to a childminder - she is obviously much more settled with her CM than she ever was at nursery.

Looking back, I wish I could have found a CM I really trusted - perhaps through a friend.

Go to local toddler groups where you can meet childminders and see them with the children in their care. You will also be able to speak to other Mum's who may be using childminders, or nannies, or nurseries, to get their opinions.

I started out wanting a CM becuase it felt more 'homely' but the few I visited were not for me. Their houses were small and not at all welcoming...one was so tidy I wondered if she just tidied up all day.
I was gutted!
I looked on the list but the others were all in the opposite direction to work so would have made the mornings a screaming side show.
I had been set againt a nursery ( no one to one, too many kids) until I happened upon one that was an old converted farm house in two acres. They kept ducks and chickens. The kids helped look after the orchard.
They learned no literacy what so ever.
I was sold.
The moral of the story - have a look at everything. You might find an unlikely gem.

wow litchick that sounds wonderful. yes, have to plough on. tough finding time though, isn't it?

I'd choose a nursery too. Lots of other children to interact with, more than one adult present and cover for holidays and sickness.

Like others have pointed out, a childminder is alone with the child/children and nobody else watches what goes on. Usually no cover for sickness and holidays, in fact you may end up paying twice for holiday cover and the usual cm which can add up if you're on a budget. Theres also less time for activities etc due to the school runs and their own childs care.

All nurseries vary though so visit a few and see which appeals to you most, you can usually tell straight away which will be best for your child.

I used a childminder because it is by far the cheapest option around here

Nurseries are more expensive and I've never even known anyone round who employs a nanny.

So I first got a list from the council of registered childminders. Then I asked around among local people. Then I went and visited 3 or 4 to see what I thought of them.

We ended up with a v experienced middle-aged lady who was well known locally and had other children at the same time. So all very reassuring. She had masses of paperwork about courses she'd been on etc, and the other parents spoke highly of her, so all that reassured me.

Didn't find the different parenting style a major hazard. Children are adaptable and getting used to different adults is part of growing up.

As the dcs grew older we found they were less happy with this CM - she was brilliant with los, but a bit too fussy for pre-teens- and changed to another one who has a more laidback approach. But this was done without any upheavals on either side.

I have just gone back to work and my DD (9 months) is in nursery two days a week. So far she seems to love it. We had a week of trial days, just for a couple of hours at a time and when we went in to arrange these they talked us through their policies, how they deal with squabbling, what happens at meal and nap times etc.

I was very nervous before I spoke to them in depth wondering how they would manage my DD when telling them all the ins and outs of her routine is impossible but it has all been fine. In fact she will eat things there that she still refuses at home and seems to have no trouble sleeping despite it being noisier.

My peace of mind comes from meeting the staff and seeing what a different and enjoyable experience she gets by being there.

I didn't want to use a CM when I went back to work (DD was only six months) for the reasons mentioned, about being one adult alone with children. Had I had a personal recommendation for a CM, I would have considered it. DD did in fact go to a CM for the occasional session when she was older (I did a lot of courses with work, and nursery being very full could rarely offer extra session). The CM in question looked after my friend's two children (three now) and thus came recommended.

The disadvantage I could see with a CM, from talking to my friend, is all about it being one person - my friend and her family take their holidays when the CM does (less of a problem now they have a school-age child and, like the CM, are confined to school holidays anyway), they have problems if the CM is ill, and had to cover the CM's (admittedly extremely short!) period of maternity leave. One huge advantage is that they are far better able to deal with having three children because they use a CM, not a nursery. The baby is there all day, the 3yo goes to pre-school and is picked up by the CM, 5yo is picked up from school by her. A nursery would be charging a whole day fee to look after the baby while my friend would have to leave work at 2.30 to collect the 5yo from school - not at all cost-effective.

I'm with you on the parenting style thing - CM had my daughter sitting on the potty after meals when under 2, and wrote a rather snarky note in her notebook about 'STILL not eating with her fingers' which lead me think we might have fallen out if we'd had a more regular working relationship. But nursery staff are as likely to be different - I guess with a CM it's because it's more of a quasi-parental role that they take on that it stands out more.

Round here the childminders use other childminders to cover each other's holidays, and you get the details of the other childminder well on time, so you can go and see them if you decide to use them.