He won't poo in a toilet

[bubba78]

Has anyone got any tips/advice for me and my 5 yr old son (yes 5yrs old!). He won't use the toilet to do a poo. He holds it in all day and waits until he's got a nappy on at bed-time (he's not dry at night yet) or until the morning and does it in his nappy. He has been known to do them occassionally in the toilet, so I do know that he can manage it. I've tried everything from star-charts to getting cross to ignoring it completely and just as I think we might be cracking it, we seem to go backwards.

Try one thing and stick to it. Don't chop and change methods. Decide you're going to do a star chart, work out something he really really wants as a big prize he can have after a month of toilet poos, think of some other things to have as daily/weekly prizes and very good luck!

There was a piece on this in The Times today - the parenting expert gave some advice. She said that to start with you should encourage your son to sit on the loo with a nappy on and gradually loosen the nappy, until eventually you drape a nappy over the toilet when he uses it. While he is on the toilet you should sit with him and read making the atmosphere relaxed and gradually (over a couple of weeks) withdraw. The child in the feature was 3yo though.

here

Pollyanna, thank you so much for Times article. Haven't tried that particular approach (everything else but). Just need some masking-tape to strap him to the toilet for more than 30 seconds!!

I am going through the same thing. My daughter won't do a poo on toilet. She does them in her pants. Holds it in while at nursery then does it in her pants later at home. She will use the toilet for a wee though. This has got me stumped. Tried the reward scheme, sticker chart and praise. The only advise health visitor gave was ignore it. HELP anyone

Any advice on this I would greatly appreciate. My DS 2.8 started potty training a couple of months ago. He was doing great - almost too well as I thought we had PT'd him in 2 weeks. Then weeks later he got a bit constipated, hurt him to poo and since then he's had a 'thing' about poo-ing on the loo and does it in his pants! Help!!! I'm trying to ignore it and not make a big thing out of it.....but its getting me down now.

tell me about it! I got so fed up with it that I took my 5 yr old to the doc's to see if a gentle 'chat' with the doctor find out what the issue was. My son did mention that it sometimes hurt when he started to go and so he prescribed him some lactulose to soften it and make it easier. Which it did no problem, but he still won't use the toilet/potty, only in his nappy. Even spoke to Miriam Stoppard (she was at an exhibition - haven't got a direct line unfortunately!) and she said to completely ignore it, don't say a word and have several changes of clothes handy to change him when needed. Easy for her to say!!!

The thing is though they say to ignore it, but isn't this giving them the signal that its ok.

My daughter starts school soon and I am worried it will effect her.

Have same problem with my little girl - she was trained at 2yrs 2m and had no accidents until about 4 weeks ago and now its everyday but only poo's - or should I say unfortunately poo's! I have tried the softly softly approach, the say nothing and just clear it up and also shouted at her - but nothing has helped. Someone told me to try threatening putting her back in nappies but she refuses to wear them and just cries alot - I have tried star charts but with no success - she does not do this at nursery. However after tonights incident - which involved a complete shower down!! - she said that she liked to hide when she pooed - so I have suggested that she go and sit on the loo and shut the door - she agreed but I will have to wait till tomorrow - I will let you know!! - I am just so fustrated with the constant washing and mess - and have now taken to just throwing away knickers in stead of the scrape and wash technique!!

My 4yr old son will only poo in his nappy, he has been going on the toilet for a wee since he was 18 months, he will hold it in all day untill theres a nappy for him to go in. Can anyone help?
Thanks
Musky

I really don't know where to turn with this. I have tried asking her why she won't poo on toilet but she won't tell me. Even other members of my family have asked her. She has started now to do it and then take her self off to the bathroom to sort herself out, so I don't even think it is that she is affraid of the loo. HELP!!!!

Well since last week - we seem to have made progress. I decided now that DS had got used to pooing again - and it wasn't seeming to hurt him. (after the constipation episode the sensation of pooing which i don't think he liked & went ballistic almost everytime he needed to poo). Well anyway - i decided he was quite capable as it was only up until the constipation episode we had any problems. I told him if he pooed in his pants again I would start taking his favourite toy of him. Couldn't believe it later on that day when he went to the potty for a poo!!!

Since then I have to take him to either the potty or the toilet (whichever he wants at the time) and leave him their until he's ready. He appears not to like an audience when he's having a poo! (I know the feeling!)

At last tho' - it has been sooo nice to not have to do the scrape & wash!!! Just hope it carries on!

Well I took your idea of taking away her favorite DVD's. Still not worked. She just tells me she doesn't want them anyway. So took 2 off her. So far I have taken 4 off her and she does not seem bothered. I am at a loss now.

I had the same issues with my number 2 daughter. Now 15! Very clever and potty trained in a weekend at 2 but only wees and would scream and hold in poo till we put a nappy on her. In the end I went cold Turkey! Took no nappies anywhere and once at a garden centre no nappies and I sat with her in the toilet cubicle for an hour. In the end she did it and got a huge piece of chocolate cake as a reward. It’s not easy and no one way can fix any child I think. She’s now 5’10 and squirms when we mention her toilet issues but she’s still tricky and controlling and very achieving but we love her to bits!

You just have to stop nappies day amd night and look for signs when he needs to pop amd sit him on the loo. Also the Pirate Pete or Princess Polly potty stories on Youtube help encourage them. But if you don’t stop the nappy or pull ups, your kids won’t change. Time to bite the bullet. Get them on toilet straight after tea time.