Single Mum, Disabled, Depression and Lonely. (Long Sorry)

[Natty05]

(BTW - Sorry I'm not good with my literacy skills)

Hello. I'm a single mum of one. I'm in my late twenties, lately I've been feeling lonely and I think I might have depression.

My ex left me, when I was 6 months pregnant. My son, who's nearly 4. He's the only reason, I get up in the mornings, keep me going. Recently my depression seems to be getting worse, some nights I cry and I hate being lonely. Lost my confidance and I don't feel like socialising at all. I'm a very shy woman and I find it hard to make friends.

None of the mothers at my son's nursery, really talk to me or make affort to come and make an conversation with me. To be honest, they are quite snobbish and I live in a small villege.

I look at my life, empty in comparison. Yeah I have my beautiful, wonderful son but its not enough. I need more. I need a friend who will be there to help me get over my latest crisis, I need a friend to celebrate with when things work out, I need someone to talk to about parenting issues and everything that comes up. Someone to hang out with on a friday night when everyone else is partying, someone to go to the movies with.

But, what I want most of all, what I long for with all my heart and soul, is someone who understands me, someone who loves me for who I am. Someone to sit up all night talking to, to laugh and cry with. Someone who knows me better than anyone else is the world, where we need no words to express how we feel. Someone who will hold me close after a hard day, wrap their arms around me and block out the world. Someone who will comfort me and also motivate me, encourage me and inspire me and I want to be the person who does all those things for someone too.

Deep down, I haven?t got a friend to turn to.

Natty

Hi Natty

Have you seen a doctor about your depression? Sometimes it can really help, I feel down sometimes and it just seems that the simplest thing can be the end of the world.

Doyou mind me asking roughly where you live? Maybe you are nearby someone on here?

I live in a smallish village too and although I have my DP here other than him it is very lonely, I moved here about 3 uears ago when I was pg so I left all of my friends behind, sometimes I just wnt to pack up and shift back but I know deep down it's best for my son. That's what I get from your post that the main thing is your son and you sound as though you are a wonderful mum, but sometimes for our own sakes we need more.

If it's any help I know your more than likely miles away but you can mail me if you ever need to talk it's not the same I know but I do kind of know what your are feeling but please get hep and talk to family or whoever is there for you it always helps and maybe start talking more to the other mums at the nursery you never know they may be lovely when you get to know them.

Thank you for replying.

I've been thinking of making appointment to see my GP, but I'm stuggling to hold it together lately. I cannot bring myself to talk to my GP about my problems at the moment.

But I do think it would help me, because of with my self esteem, shyness and depression etc. I have got family, who live in the same villege, but I cannot 'open up' to them. Feel slightly embarrassed, I always put on a 'Happy face'. If you get me?

I honestly have tried to talk to the mums at the nursery, but I can sense that they don't want to get to know me as a person.

Sorry It's short message, I've got to leave and pick up my son from Nursery.

Thanks

No problems

Just when I read it couldv'e been me who wrote it.

Only difference is I pretended to yself for long eneough that I was fine, I knew I wasn't but I thouht if I put the 'happy mask' on all the time maybe I would be happy and stop feeling so shitty but sadly It doesn't work like that

Well I know I may be a random stranger but maybe thats a good thing right enough sometimes it helps to open up to someone who wont judge because they know X about you IYKWIM.

My email addy is sr86 @ hotmail . co . uk

If youwant mail me and we could maybe share between us LOL who knows mught even cheer each other up

I'm a single mum to Ds who's 5.
I have M.E. and nderstand how isolating it all is.

Feel free to email me -

me and thomas AT hotmailDOTcom ( taking out the spaces and the at and dot are normal )

Hang in there.

just wanted to add to your list of friends.

if you pluck up the courage to see your doctor...don't worry how you are going to tell him how you feel...just print of your first post...THAT says it all.

If you cannot face that, how about phoning your health visitor..mine sometimes came here- just to chat...and even accompanied me to a doctors appointment to make sure i 'told how i really felt' as i kept making doctors appointments...and not going. knowing she was trying to help made me go to the appontment.

Depression is a cruel thing...we can wear masks that means noone notices how awful we feel...

my boys are older than yours...but i can still remember the lonlieness of being 'the mum that noone bothers with'.

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, Natty05

Sorry can't offer any help or advice but I'm thinking of you and hope you get something sorted soon.

Natty- how's things?

Hi Natty, I'm effectively a single dad (my wife has a severe brain injury) with a 4 year old girl and 2 year old boy (who I've raised since he was 10 days old), and just wanted to say that your message has helped my depression considerably. Just to know that I'm not the only person out there feeling lonely and that other people have challenges has made me feel far less isolated. If you too realise that there are so many more people out there in very similiar circumstances, then I hope you too may feel less lonely.

Hiya Natty

I had an accident 18yrs ago which left me disabled, i'm a mum of 2 and like you have felt very isolated.

I think once you open up about your feelings to your family and doctor it will make you feel so much better.

Give it time with the nursery mums!

Dear all
We run a lovely parent and toddler drop in every Thursday afternoon specifically for adults with disabilities and their children (under 5s)called Sunshine Corner.
It is located in 42 Westbourne Park Road W2 at Westminster Centre for Independent Living very near Royal Oak tube and parking available. If you would like someone to talk to you or accompany you the first time you come along, please ask us. It's free and open from 4-5.30pm. There is an enclosed garden for the children to run around in and ride bikes etc and we always try to put on arty/crafty things each week and storytime plus singing if people want it.
Do give it a try.
Bayswater Children's Centre on 020 7266 8747

Oh gosh - Thank so much for your replies. They really have helped and I don't feel so alone.

Apologies I know I have not been on here for ages, I moved into an council house in February after, waiting for nearly 4 years on the housing waiting list. I have been so busy decorating the whole house, as it needed doing top-to-toe. As it has been a struggled. Still not finish, just the hall-way now. Without having an internet connection for months, I am connected now.

As for me - I never did made the GP appointment in the end, I didn't have the couraged to do so. I gots on with things.I have been strong for my son, but deep down I know I am still struggling with my depression and trying to pull myself together and get through it on my own.

I'm still at the same stage from my last post in January - low self esteem, no confidence and lonely etc. My son started full time at school in September and he's enjoying it so much. I find it difficult to interact with the mothers at school and hard to relax with people and get to know them. Once I know someone its great but I am quite shy, quiet and am more of a listener.

I have thought of getting back into employment, a part time job. But I don't think I am up to do it at the moment.

Sorry for rambling on - Thank you once again.

Natt05 i read your first post and it sounds like my self but i will not let it get the best of me i will get through it all.Sometimes having a child with a disability can be tough you become isolated i did and still am i have even been abused and bullied feeling that no man will every want me because my life is to look after my children but you no it does not matter my son did not choose to have a disability and although i have been hurt i just pray to god to get me through it and try to move on cause with out my boys where would i be people come and go my boys are here . I know how you feel natty trust me and there is hope . Now i hire a baby sitter once a month and i go out to church or even the cinema by my self most times but i am trying .

Thank you for your reply Kurves, It's mean a lot to me. Comforting I guess,It's nice to know there are other people out there in the same situation.

At least you are making an effort to go out once a month, to have some "quality time" on your own. I bet it's hard for you at times, I give credit to you. With my disbility it can be noticeable and specially the adults who tend to stare at me and look away.I guess they don't know how to act. Which I'm very self-conscience about and maybe one of the reasons I isolated myself. My son know that I am "different" to other mummies. Do people stare at your son, Kurves?

Hey Natty!
I don't have any children, but I do have depression and I'm disabled (tbh it's hard to find a bit of that works correctly :P)
I know how enveloping depressing can be, sometimes it like treacle, it sucks you in and it's exhausting to get out! My advice is to do stuff! I spent several years doing nothing, and it drove me mental, daytime tv rots the brain! My specialist advised me to go back to uni, and I'm so glad I have! I only go two nights a week, but it's great! I now have something to think about, rather than just the dark dreary thoughts going round and round! It leaves me too poorly to leave the house at any other time in the week, but I wasn't doing much anyway :P And it feels good to know I've accomplished something, I'm not as useless and pathetic as I think I am!

My advice is to do something like this, if not uni then check out the local colleges and things for courses during the day, I did a few a couple of years ago, and many of them are only £5 or free for the whole thing depending on your benefits and things. It can be really scary, I know, but you get to see new people and do new things, not to mention you get to look at a different set of walls!

Hope you are ok! Look after yourself, and don't watch too much cash in the attic! hugs

Hi, glad so many people responded, its a funny(?) thing about depression, it cons you into feeling as though you are isolated and alone, when all the time there's maybe somone next door feeling the same.
I would try some homeopathic treatments as well as seeing your Dr.
Having used some of the Bach remedies on my son,it seemed to help a great deal. Also, try to laugh a few times a day, (I look up 'laughing babies' on youtube, never fails!)
Best wishes

hi natty, if you're reading. How are things for you now?

just want to send everyone dealing with depression and issues a massive

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just want to send everyone dealing with depression and issues a massive

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Hello.

I would just like to say a big thank you to you all replying back to me.

Well I finally went to see my GP back in February, I broke down in tears as I could not hide my depression any longer.My GP prescribed me anti-depressants but they made me a zombie and so I stop taking them. I have not been back to see my GP as I feel embarrassed to be honest. Although my depression isnt as bad as it was it is still there, like most sufferers I have good and bad weeks/months. I know I'd go and see my GP.

Sekhmet - I was going to enquire about doing a Admin course in September at my local college, but what stopping me is that I'm a very shy, lack in confidance and a bit self-conscience about my disability. I hardly go out at all in the evenings, as I have got my son. My family lives about 2 hours from me. I have got a few friends who lives nearby, but they have got their own lives with work and relationships etc. I actually love watching cash in the attic

((hugs)) to everyone.

hi, i've just joined here, so still finding my way around, but if you still come on here to chat, i would like to be your friend! i have depression, am a single mum to 2 beautiful girls, i've had lots of help with depression, but what really really helped, my health visitor got in touch with a Befriender Service, and I had a weekly visit from a lovely lady who is there for YOU! you can chat, cry, cook or go for a walk with her, she kept me going and gave me confidence, and a year later i'm not quite moving mountains, but i'm not so scared by them anymore!
xxx Elaine