Gathering jokes for my 3 yr-old

[Acinonyx]

I've started tellingjokes to my 3 yr-old. She sort of gets them but they have to be VERY simple. I picked up a book of kids jokes and looked at a couple of websites but most of the jokes are waaay too sophistated for her.

Current favourites of ours are:

What's very heavy and wears glass slippers? Cinderelephant.

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? So he could hide in the cherry tree. (Took a lot of explaining and repeat performances but it was worth it.)

Ice cream and cats also figure heavily.

Dd's latest contribution was 'Why does a flower have a middle? Ans: Because it's a flower. Not rushing to book her as a stand-up just yet then....

what do you call a donkey with 3 legs? A wonkey! - my DS's favourite at 3!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Don't cry, its only me.

What did the cat say when it was put in jail?
Let miaooout!

how does a monkey make toast?

puts a slice of bread under the g'rilla!

Why did the octopus blush? Because the see wee'd!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Imup
Imup who?
I thought I could smell something!

What's a cows favourite planet?
the mooooooooon. (Yes, I know it's not a planet)

ds's favourite...
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there?
orange
orange who?
orange you glad I didn't say banana!

What's the fastest cake in the west?

Scone (said in racing car type noise)

my personal favourite:
what's brown and sticky?

a stick.

Fabulous - keep 'em coming

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Doctor
Doctor Who
Oh you already know it

Knock knock
will
will who
wil you stop knocking on my door!

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this (raise arm)
Don't do that then (raise arm)

Why did the banana go to the doctor's?
He wasn't peeling well.

what do you call a fly with no wings? A walk

WHat doyou cal a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer ( No idea)

What do you calll a fish with no eyes?
Fshhhh

Panda g what do you call a donkey with 3 legs and one eye?
A winkywonkey

what's green and hairy and goes up and down?

A gooseberry in a lift

Where does a bee do the toilet?

At the BP station.

One day, DS was pretending to be a rabbit when he needed a pee, so he said to me:

Mummy, where does the rabbit do the toilet?

At the rabbit BP station.

It's a joke mummy, ha ha ha ha

It was funny the first time, but three months on, it is wearing a little thin..........

How do you make a sausage roll?

Push it.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick

What do you call a :
girl in a vase (Rose)
man in a pile of leaves (Russell)
man with a seagull on his head (Cliff)
girl with a pint of lager on her head (Beatrix)
man with a spade on his head (Douglas)

Lol at beatrix, not heard that before :-) more donkey jokes.
what do you call a donkey with 3 legs and one eye playing the piano?
A plinkyplonkywinkywonkey
what do you call a donkey with 3 legs and one eye playing the piano and singing the blues?
A honkytonkyplinkyplonkywinkywonky

What's small, white, round and giggles?

A tickled onion

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name! Ok maybe not for a 3 year old but Jummy Carr told that on Raio 1 the other morning and it made me laugh!

Knock konck
who's there
I done up
I done up who
urgh!

PLumbumbum - thanks for that, the DS in question is 9 now but I will tell him later!