So when babies cry in their cot/bed and you go to settle them, what do you do when....

[chloejessmeg]

It just makes things worse? DD needs to go for a nap. She has been a PITA recently with sleeping, possibly due to teething. So I put her down, she cried so I left her for a few mins to see if she will settle (Yesterday she cried but was asleep within 5mins ish and didn't get toooo upset). She wasn't settling so calmed her down, offered milk which she didn't want, gave her comfort toy back etc. But when I then put her down, she screams far more than before I went up. She is now screaming?

What do you do? Is it better not to go up in the first place? But I HATE leaving her to cry for more than about 5 mins, I am not very good at listening to her crying. She was fine though when I picked her up, and she wanted to play with her toys.

She NEEDS a nap.

I am so good at other peoples babies when it comes to sleep! lol. Just don't seem to think clearly when it comes to my own!

If its teething - have you tried teething powders? They seem to have a very good effect on my DS when he's upset because of teething.

Did you try picking her up and rocking her to sleep in the dark where she cant see her toys? Not brilliant long term, but works for me when I need a quick fix solution to get DS napping.

Hope she's stopped screaming - there's really no worse sound!

She is down here now . I know I probably give in too early. I did try rocking, but I am 6 months pregnant with a big bump so can't do it for long. Her room doesn't get too dark until we get her blackout blinds which is annoying. She has just moved bedrooms and so needs a new blind, as this room just has normal curtains that just don't cut it in the day.

Sorry, yes we have tried teething powder. Not 100% sure it is teething that is keeping her awake as she is quite happy when awake? She had an awful night last night - got up about midnight till 3 am!

are you sure she needs a nap?

yes

hi chloe! how you doing? As you know I have 3 LOs and each one was different. With dd1 I did a form on CC (controlled crying) and she slept from 6 weeks. With dd2 I did try CC but this didn't work and she never slept during the day (just screamed for the first 18 months of her life). She did used to have one day a week when she'd catch up on her sleep (normally Friday) but that was it. Actually, she has only just started sleeping through now (8 years old).

With ds1, I didn't even try CC (was so knackered from dd2 not sleeping). I invented my own method:

1. When he woke up in the morning, I never went to him first thing - even if he cried. I only went to him when he was happy.

2. I created a "nap" time routine for him (reading a story to him and his teddies) then when he needed a nap, I'd say shall we go and join teddie in the cot. When I did "have" to rock him to sleep to get him off (he seemed to want this around 18months), I would always put him in the cot awake. I would never pick him up if he cried, I would just go in and say "Mummy's here" avoiding eye contact.

As a result he will sleep from 4pm until 6am most days or if he has a nap, from 12-4pm (yes really!) and then from 8pm until 8am (yes really!). He loves his sleep, but I think this is because he loves "his" space (as I made it) with his teddies and some books he can read/sing.

But, as I know each child is different and your dd may only want one nap a week. It's about seeing what suits her.

when DD is like this I take her out, calm her down, distract her and try again in 15 mins. I don't reckon it'll work for all babies, but seems to work for DD.

Hi ya! How are you? Are you settled in your new house now? Whats it like being away from everything?

She WAS a good sleeper if at home untill a couple of weeks ago. She would have 2 naps a day, each one at Least 1n hour, usually 2, occasionally more. She would then sleep 7pm till at least 7am, often later.

Have learnt that she is getting too old for 2 naps, so just try one at this sort of time. If she doesn't sleep at nap time, she will be miserable all afternoon, then probably fall asleep somewhere just before we need to leave for the school run.

Even now, she won't do anything other than sit and watch the TV (which I don't like for long) because she is too tired for anything else.

Oh and she won't eat anything without a nap. So she hasn't even eaten lunch and won't until she has slept.

She is looking as though she might fall asleep on the sofa. This happened the other day but she couldn't sleep properly as kept jumping at every noise and I ended up taking her out in the buggy.

haven't moved yet! The vendor of our house went AWOL so we've put it back on the market. Hoping to have an offer soon. I finish work in a couple of weeks so will have some time on my hands if you fancy meeting up.

If she likes the TV, have you tried putting a radio on in her room (or a CD with some songs for her). She does sound like she is over-tired. How about fresh-air? Can you put her in the buggy in the garden or take her for a walk? Girls are terrible - they work themselves into such a paddy over things. They can never see the simple answer is to sleep and all will be good.

going into soothe, comfort etc only ever makes my ds worse as he gets more and more angry each time i leave or put him down. thats why i don't believe controlled crying would work with him. i tend to give in and get him out!

I don't think you should ever leave them to cry - could you not just cuddle up together and both have a nap?

Oh no, sorry that it didn't work out with the house - hope you get a buyer soon! What estate agent are you with? I know somebody looking to buy in the area, so can point them in the right direction if it is what they are looking for?

Yes I would be up for meeting up, Monday/Tuesday mornings are best for me as I can go straight from school run and fit in with Elouise. But I am free most of the time anyway. Am Childminding before and after school though, although I suspect the same goes for you with the girls.

I will take her out for a walk if she doesn't go soon. Wondering which is the better habit to get into - sleeping on sofa in front of telly or going for walks, neither are great habits I know, but looks like it is going to be one or the other. Walks are all well and good while I just have her, but she will soon have her sister to fit in with! And Tbh, she is happy having her rest in front of the Tv now and isn't being a problem. So might go and make lunch now while she is quiet

Seeker - i would love to, I am so tired and we did try that as she will occasionally sleep in my bed, but has recently got a bit of a thing where if I lie down she thinks its a game and jumps on me and usually ends up biting really hard (whole other thread), especially when overtired like this. And pokes me in the eyes! Also tried having cuddles in our new nursing chair but again, no luck.

Monday/Tuesday's mornings are fine with me, will email you to arrange a firm date. I'll also email you my details/house etc and they can contact me direct if they want to arrange a viewing (rather than going through the EA who seem to be doing very little for their money). Thanks.

Oh sister - congratulations! They will be best of friends growing up (and fight occasionaly!) - I always wanted two girls very close together but it didn't turn out that way.

What I found with ds is that he had to fit in with the dds, rather than the other way round. And tbh I don't think anything wrong with them watching tv, if that calms them down (and you as well!). I think going for a walk every day is a good habit to get into just not when you are pg! Off to email you, hope you had a good lunch.

Great, will look out for your email. Have decided to take a walk into twon and go straight to the school run. It take half hour ish each way to walk to the school, so think I might as well go now and pop into Tesco to get some bits and also have something I need to collect from Argos. Otherwise, by the time I have taken her for a walk to get her to sleep, I won't have much time till school run anway. There goes any chance of actually getting any housework done!

Just got your email - will reply properly tonight when mindee goes home as just on our way out now.

Thanks for all the advice

ARGH! She went to bed fine at 7pm but woke up at 8 screaming the place down! Something definatly wrong with her, hopefully just teeth. Trying to get her to take medicine and teething powder but not really having much luck. Letting her watch tv AGAIN!! so will try in 10 mins when she has forgotten that she was refusing to take it - she usually wants it. Was really looking forward to an early nigght - I am so tired!

oh hugs chloe - sorry to hear she is no better. I swear they sense it when you want an early night. Another suggestion, you mention a chair, can you put her in her for all settled and just sit Reading quietly at the end of her cot. You may be there for half an hour initially but gradually you can reduce it. I used to sneak out on all 4s so ds couldn't see me. Hope tonight is better but somehow doubt it - poor you.

The chair isn't near her cot, but I can sit with her easily, but it either works or it doesn't iyswim? Reading gets her too awake, she likes to turn all the pages, point to everything etc but have tried sitting next to her cot - she doesn't actually have the bars on, just a bed guard because she can climb out already (at 12 months!). She doesn't really get out though so not too much of an issue and makes it a lot easier to sit with her, and there is a spare matress on the floor I sit on and to stop her hurting herself if she does climb out.

She is wide awake, just playing with her toys like it is 9am! She needs to be up by 8am tomorrow to do the school run and then go straight to church which I know is going to be a nightmare.

ARGH, wana go to bed! She has had paracetamol and teething powder so hoping that will sort things. That was an hour or so ago so might give her some nerofen and more teething powder before bed. She is rubbing her cheeks and ears - pretty sure it is her back teeth bothering her.

Just going to go up now. Will try her in her cot and if not in my bed with me and hope we get some sleep! Goodnight

hope you had some form of sleep chloe. What I meant to say is ( but didn't preview before I posted) was you read a bookmagazine to yourself with the lights down low whilst she settles in her cot. My ds still has the bars on and has been climbing out for a year now but a firm "get back in ds" from downstairs ensures a swift climb back in by ds. In fact now he even climbs in and goes to sleep when he's tired. I do believe that he loves his own space (would never co-sleep even when bf) unlike dd2! But each to their own-I think your dd is a very active baby (she always has been from the beginning hasn't she) who has a lot of energy to burn off but when she's I'll she gets frustrated cos she can' t do this. But I may be wrong!