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Original poster

7 year old can't get off to sleep - can anyone help

24 replies

BananaSkin · 19/01/2009 23:15

DS1 is 7.5 - bright and sensitive. He's never been big on sleep and doesn't seem to need much, but his inability to get off to sleep is really beginning to wear us down.

He goes to bed 8.30/9pm. If DH and I go quietly to the study on our PCs and don't move for 30-45 mins, and if his brothers are already asleep, all is often well. But if we change this at all (i.e I had a very rare bath and read a book quietly in the bath - plus his brother started sleep talking loudly), then he can be still awake at 10 or 11 o'clock. The problem is that we end up getting to bed late if we sit in the study and wait for him to go to sleep until 11pm, then we get up late so he can sleep, and the whole day starts off disastrously.

Additionally, DH is away a lot and I just can't afford the time to sit around waiting for him to sleep - I have too much to do & can't cope with the 1 or 2am bedtimes I have been having recently. Even the slightest noise will keep him awake.

I'm also wondering if we are doing him a disservice by being so quiet. Once he's away from home he will have to learn to sleep through noise (we live in a very quiet road with no traffic at all). I wonder if I should be getting him to go to sleep through noise now, or whether that comes later.

Can anyone help please?

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 20/01/2009 07:45

Maybe he should go to bed a bit later?

DD is 3 and she goes to bed at the same time as your 7 yr old DS. (She wakes at 7 most days and doesn't nap in the day)

LurkerOfTheUniverse · 20/01/2009 08:23

buy him some ear plugs

my dd is often awake late but I refuse to creep around my own house waiting for her to sleep

so you are right

I went to relatives house for dinner once, she had 2 dds 6 & 4, and she made us all sit quietly until the children were asleep as they didn't like too much noise

GooseyLoosey · 20/01/2009 08:37

Ds (5) sometimes has trouble falling asleep. I let him read in bed and he usually falls asleep after about an hour. If he had something to focus on, noise would not bother him.

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RoseOfTheOrient · 20/01/2009 08:55

Agree with Cote - later bedtime....can't hurt to try.
My 9 year old goes to bed at 9:30/10 () - is asleep v. soon after getting into bed.

Buda · 20/01/2009 08:55

Would some music playing low help him relax and drown out other noises? Or an audio book?

Smee · 20/01/2009 11:06

Am curious BananaSkin, as DS (4.5) is v.similar and always has been. We also go to do some quiet work, and he likes hearing me on the keyboard next door, but still can be awake for hours - last night he finally dropped off at ten. To be honest I wouldn't mind, as he's very good and does stay in his bed, but he was a nightmare this morning as he's too tired to cope. Is your son the same, or do the late nights not have a knock on effect?

Original poster
BananaSkin · 20/01/2009 21:11

Smee - they do have a knock on effect sometimes as it makes him feel pretty rotten and more likely to cry etc. Today he was fine actually and perfectly happy. We put him in our bed (as I haven't finished cleaning up after supper - his room is above kitchen) and he seems to be asleep.

I hope you find a solution soon.

OP posts:
Smee · 21/01/2009 10:48

Thanks BS, but I have a feeling we're stuck with it, as he's been the same from day 1. When other people's babies were content to dose in their arms, mine was bouncing around and looking for what next adventure he could get up to. I do wish I could solve it for him though. Good to hear that he may have a bit more stamina by the time he's seven .

Smee · 21/01/2009 10:50

Meant to ask BS, but have you thought about finding a sleep clinic? I've read a bit about those on here before and am curious..

Original poster
BananaSkin · 21/01/2009 18:41

Hi Smee - not thought about sleep clinic for him because if we make a big thing of it, I know he will blow it up in his mind and it will be worse.

OP posts:
AlderTree · 21/01/2009 21:17

Is there a reason he isn't sleeping? We have a seven year old live wire and he is so busy 'processing' his day when he gets into bed that we had loads of problem swith this for ages - till he learnt to read - then he would lie there and read for hours. This made him tired the next day - nightmare as he still had too much energy which got him into trouble and then he would get stroppy about that. The solution - a bedside light on a timer switch. Goes off at 8pm weekdays and 8.30pm saturday. We haven't had problems since. He comes down to get something he has forgotten sometimes but we have nothing like the arguing and running up and downstairs we used to have.

Original poster
BananaSkin · 21/01/2009 22:16

He has been a bit worried about school, but that particular issue has been resolved AlderTree. He is very much a live-wire and thinks/talks a lot. He is just hyper when he goes to bed. That is the problem with reading; he loves reading but gets very much into the story and it could possibly make things worse.

Thanks for the suggestion re night light.

OP posts:
MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 21/01/2009 22:43

I swear by audio books for sleeplessness no matter what age. (best if stories are familiar and not too over-exciting iykwim)
Think you can even get relaxation type ones for kids
HTH

Smee · 22/01/2009 14:06

Am interested in the reading thing - DS at 4 isn't ready for that yet. Though I think like your DS AT, mine will read for hours .
We do the audio book thing OM, though I think it's more for my sanity, as it stops him calling out every five minutes. He's only ever allowed one of two stories that he knows really well. My logic is as you say that it won't over excite. He lies listening, then once it's over calls to say he's still awake...

Smee · 22/01/2009 14:10

BS and AT, as your two are older, can I ask if you found school made things better or worse? I was hoping it would tire mine out so he slept, but if anything (he's only been going for two weeks), it's worse. This week he's been asleep: Monday 10pm/ Tues 9/ Wed 9.30. He's in his bed by 7.30, so it's a long time for him just to lie there. He's so tired today, that I almost kept him off school. It's not that he's stressed, as he's really enjoying it and skips there every day. Am worried he'll be too tired to cope though.

Original poster
BananaSkin · 22/01/2009 16:50

It's made it worse for us. Dropping off to sleep has only been an issue in the last year or so (though I put him to bed late yesterday and left the radio on really loud and was very pleased that he dropped off to sleep).

OP posts:
Smee · 22/01/2009 20:23

I was so hoping you weren't going to say that BananaS. Possibly I should invest in a mallet..

missymoo2411 · 22/01/2009 20:40

do u think he waits for u to go to bed as my ds 8yrs has done this if i have let ds2 stay down ds1 will stay a wake so there is no point in him going o bed before ds2 so they generally o together as ds2 is the same rbut if they go to bed at 7 they chat and read to each other ant it 8 or later befor they settle but any later and they r knacked out so i cant send them any later ..he could be over tiered ,or his brain working over time maybe he could right his day down .

Original poster
BananaSkin · 22/01/2009 22:17

Smee - I think it has just happened because we have been trying to be quieter and quieter to help him sleep. In hindsight it is the worse thing we could have done.

Tonight, again, I have put him to bed with the radio on full blast and I think he is asleep. It is so loud that standing outside his room is deafening. So, I think maybe it is a mixture of sudden noise and quietness that has been the problem.

OP posts:
Smee · 23/01/2009 10:09

Brilliant to hear you've cracked it BananaS - or at least it sounds like you have. Here noise or the lack of it's not the problem. I've tried being quiet. Tried too background noise. I leave the door open so he can hear me moving round the house, I often have the radio on, which in his room must sound like a distant hum. I quite often put music on that must float up to him and he likes that to listen to. Nothing seems to help.
My DS is definitely overtired Missymoo, but it doesn't make a bit of difference if I put him to bed earlier. He's in bed by 7.30 anyway. He hasn't got anyone to talk to, as he hasn't got a sibling. He's not stressed, and likes his bed, so that's not the problem either. I think I probably have to accept it's who he is. There are worse things to have a problem with after all..

Original poster
BananaSkin · 23/01/2009 11:09

Have you tried cranial osteopathy Smee? We have tried it for everything in this family, despite being initially very sceptical.

Sometimes it is uncomfortable for children to lie down if the bones in their head are not where they should be. Having said all that, I recommended it to a friend and it didn't work for her child at all. It has sorted out all sorts of problems here though.

OP posts:
Smee · 23/01/2009 11:34

That's interesting. I tried it when he was tiny, as he had colic and was very obviously in pain. I don't think it helped then, but am not anti the idea of them, as the woman I saw seemed very wise. Might look into it BS, so thanks. Good suggestion. What did it work for in your house hten?

Original poster
BananaSkin · 23/01/2009 18:35

Where do I start ...

colic DS1
post immunisation DS1
Long periods of night wakening post chicken pox DS2
DS3 had a quick check up when he was born
long lasting headaches DH
bad sinus problems and bad back (& may have helped with fertility, resulting in DS3) me
Recently DS2 was constantly bunged up and had got into the habbit of making a funny noise in his nose as a result of struggling to clear it - two sessions stopped this too

OP posts:
Smee · 23/01/2009 19:54

Most intriguing.. I might give our local centre a call and see if they think it's worth a go. I'd try anything if only to get my evening's back (says she on a Friday night and no sign of sleep in DS anytime soon..) Thanks BananaS

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