'Bilingual' 14 month old only speaking Dutch... What's going wrong?

[NorktasticNinja]

We do 1L1P and really never deviate from it, I'm at home with her 3 days a week but we live in Holland so all her other input is in Dutch.

DP and I always speak Dutch to one another so maybe we should speak more English together, it just always feels so strange.

She definitely understands me and she seems to understand English better than Dutch (but maybe that's projection?). Could it just be because she's been totally Papa obsessed for the last couple of months? Is there actually any hope of her becoming bilingual?

Erm, I mean I'm at home alone with her 3 days a week and at home with her and DP at the weekends

I have the same problem, DD speaks mainly Italian to me and I used to be hard pushed at getting her to say anything in English BUT she has been spouting a lot more English lately (she's now 3.6) and when on the phone to non Italian speakers comes out with whole sentences quite effortlessly.

You'll just have to be patient. It's all there but it's so much easier for them to take the lazy option.

I do think I need to send my DD to the UK more often though, as her accent and to some extent fluency is not the best and she does benefit from all English surroundings. Are you able to go back often or even have people over?

she's 14 months, stop worrying! Stick to 1L1P, and try and insist she responds to you in the language that you speak to her. She will become bilingual, don't stress too much about it.

My dd1 is almost five, and finally beginning to speak english. But she was a late talker - no words until she was 18 months and has only become fluent in dutch in the last 6 months or so.

Ah, that's reassuring!

I've never met a bilingual child and (stupidly?) haven't read any books on the subject either. I just assumed that she would start off with a mixture of random words taken from each language, probably going for whichever language had the easiest word for whatever she wanted to say.

I only have my mum and brother and they don't visit often, maybe twice a year each and we don't go to the UK often at all. In fact DD has never been. I'll be taking her over for a week or two soon though, so it'll be interesting to see if that has any effect.

Don't bother reading, any books, I haven't either. I'm surprised though you haven't come across other bilingual children in Holland. A very basic suggestion is to read to her in english, and maybe join a playgroup where there are english speaking people?

BTW, my dd1 who was very late in speaking actually had a hearing problem which is hopefully now solved.

Every child develops differently, whether mono/bi/multilingual, so there are no hard and fast rules. As belgo says your DD is still very young, so there's plenty of time yet.

The only thing I've learnt is to be patient and maximise the English presence in your house as much as possible (eg. English books, CDs, DVDs). There are days when my DD speaks quite a lot of English and others where she won't say anything (usually after a day at school) but as long as you persist and persevere it'll all be absorbed.

I've made the mistake in not insisting my dd1 speaks english to me - I wish I had done- but I was just so happy and relieved when she finally started speaking that I didn't care what language she was speaking. Both dd1 and dd2 have no trouble understanding english.

I'd hoped I'd come across them too Belgo, but I live in a village. I'm sure I'd have more luck if we lived in the city. There is an International Parents' Club in the next village but it's one one of the days I work which is a real shame.

She doesn't really like being read to, although I do it anyway. I just read Dutch books in English IYSWIM but I'm hoping to stock up on real English books when we're in the UK. Radio 4 is on a lot and she has plenty of English childrens' music but she doesn't watch TV / DVDs, but maybe she should start. What sort of thing could a child of her age watch?

I don't insist DD speaks English to me, I've tried but it's only resulted in her pig-headedly continuing in Italian. I do sometimes ask her why she doesn't speak more English to Mummy and occasionally that prompts a bit more effort. She does tend to speak more if it's only me and her, much less if Daddy's around as well.

At 14mo not a lot. I have a nursery rhyme songs CD I used to put on, and she'd occasionally watch the accompanying DVD - the part with other children dancing only though. Baby Einstein was a huge success in this house and most tiny tots are totally absorbed by it.

I agree with brangelina - english nursery rhymes and baby einstein but I believe studies have shown that children don't really learn to speak from the TV.

Having said that, my five year old and seven year old dutch speaking nieces are beginning to learn english from watching Dora

14 months is very young. My DS is 19 months and can say mum and cat! DD is 4 1/2 and speaks engish at home and italian at nursery/school where she's been since 1 1/2. Only now is her Italian coming together. I think there's a huge variation within the definition of normal, as with all other developmental things.

I agree 14m is young. My DD is 23 months and understands English and Russian; but most of her words are English (but she still uses only single words and they were quite late coming). When we go to see my parents-in-law she starts to use a few Russian words (they don't really speak English), but as soon as we're back home it's back to English again.

I'm trying not to worry too much, as she clearly understands the Russian. I'm sure I'd be more upset though if it was English she was not speaking, so understand your upset.

I guess I'm saying try not to worry, and keep talking to her in English; as long as she understands you then when she's ready she'll be able to answer back!

Thanks for all your help, and sorry for the garbled posts!

It's not that I think she should be saying more, I'm quite happy for her to go at her own pace and I've deliberately avoided 'milestone' type books (well all books really). It was more the prejudice toward Dutch that was bothering me.

If TV isn't going to be a massive help I think I'll hold off for a bit longer. Mind you, a Grandmother came up to me in the Hema when she heard me speaking to DD. She wanted to let her 3 year old DGD count to ten and say a few things in English 'for a real English lady'. That was also thanks to Dora, apparently.

Oh, and it sounds like the jury's out on insisting on children replying in the appropriate language. That's interesting to know, I suppose we'll just have to go with the flow when the time comes

Luckily if DD doesn't pick up English from me she'll be taught it at school from a young age anyway. If we were in the UK and she wasn't picking up Dutch that would really pose a problem, so I guess we're in a lucky position.

Well, you know TV might not teach a child to speak as such, but imo it is invaluable for increasing exposure to the minority language, where there is a lack of exposure. Wasn't the TV vs speech issue may be something to do with children being plonked in front of it for ages and having little interaction with people, or is there a new study?
In any case, I'm not advocating marathon TV watching, but it is useful as a supplementary tool in minority language acquisition imo. DD watches very little TV, but when she does it's a DVD in English. She's picked up a lot of songs and learnt new words through those songs, so not entirely useless....

I've not seen the study I'm afraid, I did actively avoid TV when DD was under one but I'm not so bothered now. I only actually ever think of it when there's nothing suitable for her on anyway... hey ho.

I can't see a little TV doing any harm, even if it doesn't do any good. As you say, it's all exposure to English. I think I'll see if I can get one of the DVDs, if she's not interested now she certainly will be when she's older

Maisy is good for children that age, very simple language and much cheaper than Baby Einstein DVDs, which are very expensive new.

All the Dutch people I know have spoken excellent english, plus 2 or 3 other languages, I suspect it's a good place to grow up bilingually.

I think you´d get a lot out of reading a bit about bringing up a bilingual child. Then you would know you have nothing to worry about! My DD is 4 and after lots of worry worry worry in now fully bilingual. I don´t know how easy it will be to maintain and becoming bilingual takes a lot of effort. If you speak Dutch at home and your baby goes to Dutch school you will need to make lots of effort to push English and particularly keep up contact with English speaking friends and family.

Do you recommend any specific book Sachertorte?

It is very common for bilingual children to go through phases where they prefer one language. My ds had a phase when he was 4 and just about to start school: he refused to speak English (we live in the UK surrounded by English-only speakers!), because he said if you speak English trolls come and eat you up. He is now perfectly happy speaking both languages, though his English is rather better than his Swedish.

You need to stay calm and happy about your choices; they will pick up on any stress and IME that is the one thing that turns children permanently off bilingualism.

My son liked Noddy books and later Postman Pat.There is a Waterstones shop in Amsterdam,with a big childrens section.

Hi, I think "A Parents and Teachers Guide to Bilingualism" by Colin Baker and "Growing up with 2 Languages - A Practical Guide" by Una Cunningham-Andersson & Staffan Andersson are both good places to start..

By the way, the Baby Einstein DVDs are often found, VERY cheap, in COLRUYT supermarket.

ok thank you

Agree with cory about not getting stressed out about it.