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Parenting

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Original poster

Has anyone else never left their DC overnight and doesn;t want to?

52 replies

Gateau · 19/01/2009 11:07

Our DS is 21 months old and we have never left him with anyone else overnight; nor do we want to. Yes, DH and I have our nights out and grandparents babysit but we haven't felt the need to have him kept overnight.My brother who has two sons keeps telling me staying overnight will be harder for him as he gets older; do you think that's the case? TBH, I can't see us wanting to do this in the near future anyway.
I keep reading on here about parents going away for weekends or nights, sometimes even a week without their DC. Are we the only ones who don't do this?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WilyWombat · 20/01/2009 11:24

Ive had nights away in the UK, plenty of friends have been abroad but thats a step too far for me.

I do think its good to get an occasional night away from them though to remember (briefly) how being irresponsible felt

I fret about leaving them, then forget about them completely once im away and just go "ahhh" when they are waiting for me when I pick them up.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 20/01/2009 11:27

I came home from work on Saturday night to find that DH had managed to get the both the girls spending the night out.

Obv I was devastated.

He only bought one bottle of wine One bottle of wine is not enough on a child free night

WilyWombat · 20/01/2009 11:30

LOL at least two bottles should be obligatory!

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hazeyjane · 20/01/2009 19:39

If I have more than one glass of wine, I start acting like a drunken teenager, God knows what i'd be like if i drank a whole bottle!

Gateau, I know what you mean about inflicting crying lo's on grandparents, I would just feel very bad for them, and they live far away anyway. I wish I could say we liked watching good films too, but sadly we usually fall asleep half way through, so we have been sticking with action films and Will Ferrell movies .

I'm so glad there are others that don't think it's freaky to not be bothered about having nights away etc. When I think about holidays I would like to have, and places I want to go to, it is always with dh and our dd's.

ssd · 21/01/2009 08:14

I'm really jealous of anyone who does have grandparents they could leave the kids with, so my post is a bit irrational. But I do feel some of my friends with toddlers that don't sleep well take the p**s out of the grandparents when they leave the toddlers for 2 or more nights with them, knowing the kids get up in the night and then at 6. They seem to think its amusing when granny drops of their kids looking shattered!. One friend said to me "well know she knows what its like" and I was really shocked, I wanted to remind my friend her mum knows what its like because she brought up her own kids!!

glad to read here a lot of posters genuinely think too much of their parents to ask them to have kids that don't sleep well overnight.

Original poster

Gateau · 21/01/2009 08:32

Yep, our DS is in a crappy routine at the moment of waking up during the night AND gettimg up at 6am. I wouldn't expect hisgrandparents - my parents OR my inlaws - to deal with that. Why should they? But that's not the only thing: DH and I are just not bothered about having a night away without DS. And like you hazeyjean, any holidays we have will be with him. Plenty of time for holidays on our own when he no longer doesn't want to go with us! Boo hoo. And then I'll probably look back on family holidays and yearn for them. My parents would never have dreamt of going away without us and we all only have fond memories of those holidays; we still talk about them!

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juuule · 21/01/2009 08:53

Only time that I've left them overnight was when giving birth.
Eldest is 21 now and not clingy at all

Not sure why your brother thinks it will be harder for your son to stay somewhere overnight the longer you leave it

Original poster

Gateau · 21/01/2009 08:59

Because DS won't be used to staying away. I think it's an obvioius assumption but not sure if he's right.

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roseability · 21/01/2009 20:21

Gosh I feel incredibly guilty now that I occasionally leave DS (2.8) overnight with grandparents.

chelsygirl · 21/01/2009 20:23

rose, if he sleeps well, don't feel guilty!

why should you?

EachPeachPearMum · 21/01/2009 20:31

DD is 2.11- never been left overnight- though I probably will have to when I give birth to DS (imminent)
She will stay at our house though, and Nana will come here.

roseability · 21/01/2009 20:40

He does generally sleep well and is a secure little boy. I only work one day a week and he is left with either Daddy or MIL. He is very close to my husband's parents and I am very grateful for their help. We occasionally leave him overnight and sleep at our own house after an evening out. Sometimes it is easier for my ILs as they would rather be at home and just put him down there. They also seem genuinely to love having him. We feel we benefit from the odd break and time to ourselves, however if it ever got too much for them, I would just get on with it. We also love staying in with good wine/food/movie but also enjoy company of friends or a new experience. Maybe we are a bit selfish. We have fun holidays with DS and I couldn't go abroad or leave him for a week.

However this thread has made me think that I should never take them for granted.

We are supposed to go away for 2 nights for my 30th birthday soon. I am pregnant and knackered and looking forward to the treat. However I am now having serious doubts

luvaduck · 21/01/2009 20:51

gateau - on this thread and another (about supper time i think) - i have exactly the same feelings as you - in fact are you me?

are you still bf?

we have several weddings coming up this summer - including in edinburgh - we are in the SW - no idea what we are going to do if ds not invited!

Original poster

Gateau · 21/01/2009 22:08

Luvaduck:Breastfeeding,me now??! Not a chance!
Now that's where we are different. Bf didn;t work for DS or me and I stopped after a torturous five weeks.
How old is your DS?

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random · 21/01/2009 22:11

Don't feel guilty Rose . I often have my dgs overnight they love it ..their mum gets a break .. whats to feel guilty about

Waswondering · 21/01/2009 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chelsygirl · 21/01/2009 22:15

rose, your set up sounds lovely, there is no need to feel guilty, you sound a lovely daughter!

Hulababy · 21/01/2009 22:18

DD was nearly 3 before she slept overnight at her grandparents. She is 6 now and sleeps over more frequently and loves it. She was not bothered about it at all first time, no problems encountered ever. She now asks to go. DD has only ever done 2 nights max so far though and, at present, this is plenty enough for me. I have no desire for it to be longer.

Do what suits you best.

Original poster

Gateau · 21/01/2009 22:19

Roseability, you must be feeling really guilty as I see you've just started another thread asking if you are selfish for leaving your DS. And that thread constrasts sharply with this one because everyone (except one poster) is saying 'just go for it.'
Really, there is no right or wrong. It is very much up to what you wnat to do. But if you feel THAt guilty, I would have a good think about it; too much guilt might mar your birthday treat.

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Hulababy · 21/01/2009 22:20

DD also now has sleepovers, one night ata time, with two of her closest friends - both parents I now very well. Started a year or so ago. No problems encountered again. So waiting til she was 3 did her no harm.

luvaduck · 21/01/2009 22:20

16 months (and totally gorgeous and attached to mum - and a crap sleeper!)

but you have hit the nail on the head for me in a couple of your posts

Original poster

Gateau · 21/01/2009 22:21

Hulababy, yes, I think I would feel fine when DS is older and if he ASKS to go stay at his grandpaetns' house.
AT the moment he is just too young to be away, IMO.

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Original poster

Gateau · 21/01/2009 22:23

Crap sleeper; now don;t get me started!
I started another thread on that one in 'Parenting'. Did you see it? It's entitled something like 'Toddler wakes EVERY night'. I got some very helpful advice.

OP posts:

luvaduck · 21/01/2009 22:30

yup - there were some good tips on that thread

thing is I'm just too tired to deal with it right now....

Original poster

Gateau · 21/01/2009 22:37

I know exactly what you mean, but I'm going to TRY harder the next 4 nights as I don't have to get up early for work.
Good luck, and looking forward to meeting you again on more threads to come!
Night.

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