Can't decide about preschool....WWYD?

[Acinonyx]

I have one dd 3.5. She currently goes to a CM 3 days/week. CM already does the school run and cannot do a preschool run too - so she currently doesn't go to preschool. Dd is also VERY shy and does not go easily into groups and is never left without me, dh or CM.

I am wondering about sending her to preschool now as we only have one primary school and all the kids will know each other and they do visits to the school etc. We currently meet with other mums and their dc on the other 2 afternoons/week and I would want to keep that going.

My reservations about preschool are that it's a very busy schedule (since we are out in the afternoons too) and we would lose our two slow mornings at home, and that dd is not at all eager to join groups without one of her main carers (and even takes a long time to engage with one of us there).

There are no skills wrt preschool that I feel dd is missing out on except meeting the other kids. I just can't decide if it's worth it or not. WWYD?

Hi there. I have 2 DD's. One is 6yrs old and the other 2.4yrs old. DD1 went to a montessori nursery from the age of 2 and a half, she learned so much there, montessori is a completely different way of learning. Then when she was 3 she joined the local preschool as I was worried about her making friends before starting school. The preschool was structured and she carried on with both places until school. As it turns out she didnt go to the local school anyway! I personally think children need the extra interaction and social skills they get from being at a preschool and if you DD is very shy and hasnt been left with anyone else then this is a good way of encouraging her. What would happen when she starts school though, it will be such a shock for her.

DD2 has just started montessori last week, first 2 seesions were great but today she cried and was very upset but I left her as I know she will benefit from being there and she will start school sept 2010 so not long really. She wasnt left before.

You say you have a CM, does she go 3 full days? What sort of things does the CM do with your DD on those days? What do you do with DD on the days you have her? Could you not put her int prschool a couple mornings a week insetead of CM?

I would leave her with the childminder. She sounds happy and she sounds as thought she gets plenty of access to other children. I think it would be a shame to send her out of her comfort zone and also it will make your life more difficult - so why?

thought though

She will start school Sept 09.

Swedes - that is my thinking so far but ''I know children who have started school without having been to pre school and have found it hard as a lot of the social groups have already formed.'' is exactly my concern.

We are in a village so there really is just one school option. There are 2 preschools and a couple of nurseries in other villages that feed in.

CM takes dd to a couple of groups. With me, she sees friends with dcs - but they are in different villages and will not be going to the same school. I can't swap preschool for CM because I can't get her from preschool to CM. Not really inclined to either as she is very settled with CM and it would mess up her timetable (she couldn't do anything with the morning slot).

DD used to go to nursery until she was 3 and we moved. Nursery was very up and down (too many dcs, too many carers) and she is much more settled with CM. I will leave her with CM whatever else we decide (for the 3 days I need for work).

I'm not otherwise worried about starting school as she does the school run and is familiar with it - and I think you cannot endlessly preprepare for these things )or it will go back to the womb) - she will be a lot more ready next Sep than she is now.

I think much of the stuff they teach at preschool, you could teach at home / at the childminders, but the key question for me, would be this... would your DD have friends starting school with her, in her class? Just my DD started school last term, she went to the preschool, and has an established circle of friends, but I know some of the children who didn't go to the preschools (went to nurseries etc) found starting school really hard because the friendship groups were already established and they were outsiders, and I know a couple found it really difficult to break into that. After a term there now, her main friends are still most of the children from preschool, very few of the 'outsiders' have really broken into her circle of friends - even now in the second term, and honestly, that is nothing to do with me, as I don't know half the mums of the kids that she is friendly with.
Just a thought to be considered.
HTH

If your DD doesn't know anyone, then I would send her even if only for two sessions a week (you dont have to do all five!). Just to give her friends. Having seen the children who had a hard time settling at school - crying in the mornings, getting dragged in, wetting the bed, refusing to go in to school - and this is from some really confident children I know, yet other children who started, but went to the preschool and so started with friends, some of them were desperately shy yet they settled with no problems at all.

I also think a couple of sessions would be worth it just for the formality of listening to the teacher, following instructions, you know, just getting the feel of school.

Incidentally, my DD only went to preschool for one year, and that was enough for her.
HTH

Karamazov - that's exactly what I was wondering about. It would only be two sessions (if they are OK with that) - I just want her to meet the other kids. Especially as she is so shy - perhaps it would be better.

My two bigger boys (now 16 and 13) didn't go to pre-school or nursery and they absolutely loved school from day 1 - so I don't think you can have strict rules. Also not all the children in the new school will go to that preschool so there's going to be a new order in the reception class anyway.

I think building her confidence and trust are more important than the knowing a few other children in advance of starting school. I think she's more likely to enjoy school and make friends if she is feeling confident and secure.

Could you review it just before Easter?

I wonder if doing the one summer term would be worth it - i.e. worth the settling in period.

I think I will call the school and ask their advice too.

as a preschool worker if you are going to send her I would say start as soon as possible and do 2 sessions per week. I really think that the children who only do one term and only 1 session in order to make friends do not really benefit so much, yes they start to get to know a few children but do not really have long enough to consolidate the friendships.

You could go and stay with her for as many sessions as she needs to settle, am sure the preschool staff will be used to helping children settle.

suppose what I am saying is, if you want her to go for the social aspect, do it sooner rather than later. If you decide not to, is there any way you could deliberately sek out a couple of children who will be starting school the same time as your daughter and having the child and carer round to play a few times?

I called the school and the head teacher thought it would be helpful if she did some preschool. I'll see if either of the preschools has two sessions/week available. I also think 1 session and/or one term might be a wasted effort.

I just don't know any of the other mums here as we only moved in June and I haven't been to any playgroups (CM takes her - but I have never been). I did meet up with one of my neighbours a couple times but I don't think the two dcs are exactly soulmates.....