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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

DS (10) very anxious about maths, desperate for ideas or techniques to calm him so he can think clearly.

28 replies

youknownothingofthecrunch · 13/01/2009 11:29

DS has never been confident at maths, despite the fact that he can do it. It really is all a question of self belief. A couple of years ago we moved schools and he was moved from the bottom of the top set to the top of the bottom set (unbeknownst to me ). I feel I let him down by not finding that out sooner.

Now it's got to the point that he is getting so wound up by homework that he cannot think straight. He can look at a problem and give the method by which to get a solution, but when asked the answer he panics and says the first thing that pops into his head. It's frustrating for both of us as he can so clearly do it.

I will not let him do SATs this year if he gets at all stressed about them.

I'm going to start some regular practices at home to make sure all the basics are sorted, what I'm really looking for are ways to calm him so he can think straight. He puts a lot of pressure on himself, but at the same time is a typical 10 year old boy and (other than reading voraciously) he is not the studious type. I want to help him without pressurising him at all. It is not a question of ability and his current teacher is brilliant, ds is the only one who thinks he's rubbish at maths (despite everyone telling him otherwise)and it is making him miserable

TIA

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sinkingfast · 13/01/2009 11:35

Friends with similar children have been very pleased with Kumon i.e. little and often, building on the basics and boosting confidence. Would that be an option?

Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 13/01/2009 11:38

Thanks sinkingfast, will definitely look into it. I do think boosting his confidence is the long term goal.

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Buda · 13/01/2009 11:41

MathsWhizz is good too. It was recommended to me on here for DS who is 7. It's online and a friend's DD had good results with it. I am not very good at getting DS to do it though!

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Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 13/01/2009 11:44

Thanks Buda. That will be the challenge

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Madsometimes · 13/01/2009 11:52

My children do Kumon, and Kip McGrath has also been highly recommended on Mumsnet. In fact, KipM may be better for your son because it is tutoring in small groups, whereas Kumon is more about rote learning number bonds and timestables. Kumon is very good for younger children to get the basics covered, but is a long term program rather than a quick fix.

Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 13/01/2009 11:57

Thank you for the breakdown Madsometimes.

What he needs is a big boost is confidence.

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seeker · 13/01/2009 12:01

My dd went to a lovely local tutor when she was in year 5 for the same reason. She could do it - she just thought she couldn't!

The tutor just took her through it from the beginning with tons of praise, gold stars and chocolate coins and it worked wonders. Maybe you could find someone like that? I'm not sure Kumon would help - it sounds as if you need some one to one for a while

Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 13/01/2009 12:23

Oddly enough I hadn't even thought of a real life tutor That's actually a really good idea. The problem is that he doesn't believe me because I'm his mum, so having some support and clarification from someone else would be really good.

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seeker · 13/01/2009 14:01

I would go and have a chat to a few - there are hundreds. As I said, ours was incredibly gentle and cosy - perfect for what we wanted, but a friend tried the same tutor and it was a disaster - her child didn't do a thing with her!

Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 13/01/2009 14:04

I think ds'd respond really well. He's very eager to please but a bit too chatty in class so can let his attention wander and miss things.

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seeker · 13/01/2009 14:22

You don't live in Kent, do you?

Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 13/01/2009 14:24

I'm afraid not. We're up North where it be reet grim

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HuwEdwards · 13/01/2009 14:27

where's MB when you need 'er?

seeker · 13/01/2009 14:34

Well, we know the answer to that question, don't we, huw edwards.....!

If you're in Bradford, I could find out who my sil used - but it would presumably be too much of a coincidence if you were!

Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 13/01/2009 14:40

Even further North than that but thanks for the offer. I haven't seen Martian Bishop for ages - but then I'm not the most observant person around.

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Buda · 14/01/2009 06:14

MB left as far as I know

Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 14/01/2009 09:22

Oh, that's sad, her advice will be missed. MG I'm guessing?

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Buda · 14/01/2009 10:57

Actually no - she was hounded off by some stupid bitch on a bereavement thread as far as I know. Well not hounded off exactly but I think it soured everything for her hugely. So when the other place came into being she went there. Don't blame her either. Just sad.

Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 14/01/2009 11:00

Oh God! Unbelievable! How did I miss that? She was so much help to me last year. I don't blame her at all. She will be much missed though

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Buda · 14/01/2009 11:16

I know. Quite a few oldies left as you know but some of them did have valid reasons.

cockporn · 14/01/2009 17:31

If you live anywhere near a northern spa town, I can recommend a lovely tutor. She specialises in dyslexia, but that means she is good at finding ways round helping children with 'blocks' ifkwim....

mummyofboys · 14/01/2009 20:34

Your first call should be directly with his maths teacher. Explain to them the confidence issue. I had exactly the same problem with my son in yrs 5 and 6. I'm sure he thought there was a conspiracy against him with the maths .... just couldn't see the wood for the trees albeit it was one of his best subjects. I think the work they do at this stage is quite tricky and they are making a transition in the kind of maths they are being taught - ie: more difficult - iyswim.

We had to do lots of self-esteem building and reassuring him that he could do it if he just relaxed and took a deep breath. Another huge bonus, was his maths teacher saw him for 30 mins extra help every other morning (before school began) for about a month (exceptional, I know). But that little extra help, boosted his confidence and got him over the hurdles of some difficult mathematical problems. Sorry to witter on

Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 15/01/2009 10:23

Thanks everyone. His teachers have always agreed that the problem is one of confidence and not ability - and they do tell him he is capable. Sadly I don't think i can expect the same level of commitment your lovely teacher gave your ds (very impressed), but I will talk to him and see if we can come up with any solutions.

Thanks for the offer CP, I will bear that in mind - depends which "spa town" we're talking about

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cockporn · 15/01/2009 10:42

the one beginning with H. 12 miles north of Lds.

Original poster

youknownothingofthecrunch · 15/01/2009 10:50

That's about an hour away - might be a bit far. But thanks for the offer

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