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22 month old regressing to "mummy-mummy-MUMMY!" and won't settle with anyone else...HELP!

12 replies

RoRoMommy · 10/01/2009 23:16

I've been a devoted attachment parent since my son was born. I've breastfed on cue, co-slept, and generally responded to his needs (and desires, within reason). He's gone through the typical phases of separation anxiety when he was about 9 months, and has been needy and more clingy when getting in a tooth, ill, or tired/hungry, just like you might expect. Once all of the teeth came in, and if he's fed/well-rested and healthy, there came a point at about 14-15 months when he'd go to anyone else, when dad and nana could settle him almost as easily as me, and when he didn't throw a complete fit when I left a room or need to be in my arms most of the time.

Suddenly, in the last six weeks or so he's become incredibly needy for me once again. He asks for boobie two dozen times a day or more, and suckles throughout the night. He gets very upset if I leave the room (a lot of the time) and won't settle to sleep with his dad or his nana. It's becoming very tiring (as you might imagine), as I often cannot sit in a chair or get anything done if we're in the same room without him wanting to sit on my lap or pick up my hand so I'll come with him somewhere, to play or whatever.

Last night was the worst everhe woke up at 10:30pm, and DH went to comfort him. He wouldn't stop cryinghe kept sobbing and getting more and more worked up until he made himself vomit. Even my mother couldn't settle him or calm him down, and he didn't stop until I came and gave him boobie. Then he slowly calmed down and fell asleep.

What's going on? I've been so committed to AP because I want to raise a more secure, independent kid, but somehow I feel that I am sabotaging him from developing into that...and this is what my DH and mum suggest. They think some tough love is in order. What do you think?

At wit's end, thanks in advance.

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morocco · 10/01/2009 23:18

dd is exactly the same, nightmare last night as well. repeat endlessly 'its a stage'
hang o in there

RoRoMommy · 10/01/2009 23:21

Thanks Morocco! Glad to know I am not alone...

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bookthief · 10/01/2009 23:29

Ds did this at exactly the same age (oddly, it was also the first time he'd actually called me mummy so I was v chuffed...for about a day ).

He's now 25 months and over the mummy mummy mummy mummeeeeeee thing, although is still more wary of novel situations than he was. I think it's a toddler stage.

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nicewarmslippers · 11/01/2009 07:33

are you trying to wean at all? I found my dd went berserk and obsessed with breasst when she senses I was trying to wean (at 14 moths). Someone said 'don't offer, don't refuse' and we all chilled out

may not be it though.

i'd say just a phase as dd has gone through phases of being more and less obsessed with me, more obsessed when she feels I'm withdrawn I notice

paddingtonbore · 11/01/2009 07:45

we're going through the same thing! 22mo DD has become a mummy fiend over the last month or two. i didn't breastfeed for any real length of time, so it's not related to bf or weaning.

she has also become very attached to using a particular toy as a comforter over the same period, so no doubt it's just a lovely phrase .

catweazle · 11/01/2009 13:03

Mine is the same age and doing exactly the same. Hand her to daddy so I can drink tea/ go to the toilet/ get dressed cue hysterical mummy mummy mummy.

mum23monkeys · 11/01/2009 15:18

My dd is 23 months and exactly the same. Won't let anyone do anything for her except me, and she used to be a little daddy's girl, which he loved. Bit frustrating really, but it's just a stage. I think my other did it too, but can't remember details - must have blocked it out!

RoRoMommy · 11/01/2009 19:46

Thank goodness it's just a stage! I'll prepare and repeat the mantra! Thanks to everyone for responding.

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Bella73 · 13/01/2009 14:40

Wow, I actually came here to post this. DD1 (23 months) was a total daddy's girl but in the last month is all about me and it's becoming really hard work as I also need to deal with DD2 (8 months) who is still breastfed. I'm doing all the bedtimes and all the nightwakings whereas DP used to deal with DD1...

How long will this phase last? She's also resisting bedtime as she doesn't want me to leave (mummy cuddle me, mummy cuddle me) and she is howling with despair when I drop her off at nursery whereas she used to trot in quite happily before Christmas. Is there anything we can do to help them do things with other people or are we stuck with these mummy-obsessed toddlers for a while?

Bella73 · 13/01/2009 14:40

Just to add that I haven't bf DD1 since she was 7 months so it's definitely not a bf'ing thing and also we weren't really AP as she slept in her own cot from 6 months.

Pinkjenny · 13/01/2009 14:42

RoRo - I swear to God, we have the same child. You are starting all the threads I want to start!

I actually said to my colleague this morning, 'I couldn't wait for dd to say 'mummy', but is it possible to switch it off, just for five minutes a day?'

RoRoMommy · 14/01/2009 10:33

Ah, pinkjenny, if only!

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