Remember tut-tutting over parents when you were childless ...'Look at them -when I have children I will NEVER......'

[RiaParkinson]

.....and yet you DO !!!!!!

let them leave the house with huge fuzzing bedhead three days in a row!

(guess what my two year old has today)

my little man is only 8months so not quite enough experience to join in - but you guys have put a big smile on my face. personally, i can't wait to say 'because i say so!'

monkey !! lol

my dcs have all had different hair

number five is the only one who seems to suffer - i am claiming to be a novice and simply 'have no idea WHAT to do with it' i am not a bad mum honest

I would talk to my child and explain things calmly and clearly and with a Julie Andrews smile, and never ever shout "because I said so!!!!!".............

Drive them to school wearing only a nightie under my coat! Did that this morning and then was still in my nightie when the plumber showed up!

mine is only nearly 4months, but I thought we'd never ever give him a dummy (he has one in each room!) and I'd never ever let him come into bed with us, 1st day of having a cold and my DP was booted out into the spare room and little DS was upgraded from moses basket to bed with mummy. It's amazing how sleep deprivation makes you desparate to give them whatever they want!! He's no longer in bed with me now though he's been downgraded again lol. I'm sure there'll be many more to come - I'm very tut-tut about children who can clearly walk being pushed around in buggies they no longer fit in

Spit on a tissue and wipe dd's face - oh yes I have

ooohhh, bed head hair - I lovingly wet and combed DD's mega curly locks each morning - as soon as it dries it looks like the worst bed head imaginable! Have now given up.

mine was eating in the buggy while out shopping 'mine will learn to sit nicely/read a book/do sudoku/cross stitch/enjoy mental arithmatic

Ha Ha Ha - DD usually stuffing herself on whatever I have handy, just to stop her raiding the shelves in shops and tripping old ladies up

...and tell dd1 that "I wouldn't dare speak to my mother the way you speak to me ..." whilst hearing the very same thing ringing in my ears from my when mum used to say it to me

I used to tsk at parents shouting at children - actually in my head I was saying patronisingly "don't they realise when you speak quieter they have to strain to hear you so will be naturally quiet to listen to you"

What a fucking idiot I was - I swear you could hear me in the next street one day

plonker me too, and the thought used to make me gag!

I would never sit my toddler in front of the TV on a Saturday morning whilst I chatted to complete strangers on the internet.

Not so much what I used to say but I did used to wonder what they spent all their time doing. Plus we had friends and their baby over for a meal when we were ttc or just before and I remember one ate while the other held the baby and then they swapped, I didn't understand why the baby couldn't just sit in her chair!
(I didn't say anything before I gt a telling off!)

I love DS's bed head hair! I think it adds to the 'scruffy little boy cut' look. Although when MIL comes here her first question is always "Have you had your hair brushed?"
(To DS, not me)

lol at this thread

My children would never have tantrums.

I would never take my children to the supermarket and if I did I would never bribe them with chocolate buttons to be quiet. Ever.

Errm... most of the above

And do you also find yourselves silently thinking "Oh just you wait" to the mothers of small PFB's who glare at you when your toddler has a tantrum within a mile of them and cringe when you remember that mother was you once.

I always thought i would spend hours baking with them and playing things outside and having sit down family meals in harmony, i never factored in tantrums/boredom/illness ect.

I also imagined a lovely family car sparkling clean with all of us going on road trips not the car we currently have which im sure has things living in it it's filthy.

oh god, I was very smug before I had children.

that said, I stayed smug thru three girls......about boys.

I was then given my sons, and I since broken every rule I had made myself.

I swear I was given each of my specific children to stop me being a judgemental cow all my life. not that I am not NOT guilty of being a judgemental cow now......I still have my moments, but they are reserved to very obvious parenting no-no's, like parent/child parking, fruit shoots, sausage rolls....

Most of the above rings an awful lot of bells.

I have:

Smelled DS's bottom area as a baby to see if he had pooed.

Spat on tissue to wipe his face (I honestly swore that I would never EVER do this).

No problem with bum-sniffing, but I will not do the finger of fudge test!
I always said he'd not watch tv all day, but it's always on, for me. Now he's 8 months and not in my lap feeding and sleeping constantly, I will turn off the Murder She Wrote!
I look forward to breaking all my other taboos as he gets older.

Spit n' wipe

TV on at dinner time

Tantrums in the trolly while I carry on shopping. (Little old ladies always feel the need to try and soothe my dd while she screams "NOT NICE" at me.)

Chocolate Button bribery

Snot snot snot snot snot........it never ends. And I have shared tissues with dd.

Mountains of plastic

I used to get annoyed being stuck behind slow walking kids. Now dd weaves all over the payment at dead slow and stop speeds tripping up people who are walking behind us.

I always said that I wouldn't -

use a nursery
use a dummy
have my child in a pushchair until 4 years old
give loads of chocolate, fruit shoots, and sweets
smack
shout unless in an emergency
buy shitey plastic crap toys

The only thing I've actually given into was the dummy, and that was taken off ds when he got to 15 months or so.

However, ds is still only 21mths, so there is plenty of time for my smugness to be shattered lol!

I have stuck to not making my dd kiss all and sundry when she sees relatives although my sister tries to enforce this for some reason as we had to do that. Who wants a snotty child thrust in their face or more to the point, why should children have to kiss smelly old rellies? Doesn't mean they love them any less for not wiping snot on their faces.

I have pretty well much let the rest like not shouting, sticking to bedtimes and no junk food go by the board depending how tired or stressed I've felt. I have noticed recently that my dd sometimes does what I ask her quicker than when my sister orders asks her so that makes me feel better.

teeny - glad you realise that it won't last, wait until they hit three and your definition of emergency may change