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Parenting

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Original poster

Parental nudity

27 replies

funtimewincies · 09/01/2009 19:49

Ds has just turned 2 and, quite naturally, runs around happily in the buff. Dh and I are comfortably naked in front of one another and ds is in and out of the bedroom while we shower or bath and change. Ds also liked to hop in the bath with me whenever he gets the chance. He takes an interest in how our bodies differ from his ("mummy's big tummy" ) and now we're beginning to try to explain that people like to keep certain parts of their body 'private' (meaning not wanting other people seeing or touching).

I'm not bothered about ds and dh being naked in each other's company but should I be covering up, in the same way that I might want dh to cover up if we had a little girl?

I've almost no parental compass for this as I was brought up to be quite repressed about my body, which took years to undo. I remember almost no hugs/physical contact which is a sitauation I don't want for my ds and want him to be comfortable with his body.

What's the general feeling on what age you cover up around your toddlers/children?

OP posts:

Podrick · 09/01/2009 19:51

My dd is 9 - we are all still naked a lot around the house

notnowbernard · 09/01/2009 19:52

DD1 is 5 and sees dp naked all the time

I see no problem with this tbh

OrmIrian · 09/01/2009 19:53

WHen he starts to be uncomfortable about seeing you naked and not a day earlier! It is very important that DC learn to love their bodies and not be afraid of nudity where appropriate. Follow his lead.

ANTagony · 09/01/2009 19:54

I'm naked around my DS 2 & 5 but was a bit shocked the other day when DS5 asked when his was going to drop off like mummys had. The trials of single parenthood.

My dad still wonders round naked when I (34) stay at theirs (my mum I've barely ever seen naked - but then I doubt my dad has frequently either).

MogTheForgetfulCat · 09/01/2009 19:55

I don't cover up in front of my DSs (3 and 1) and don't think I'd expect DH to cover up if we had a girl, either. I think natural nudity is nothing to be ashamed of, and don't see why children can't be exposed to that. Think both flaunting and coyness should be avoided.

DH has a slightly different view - his own dad was very free and easy with nudity well into my DH's puberty and DH says he hated it, and is inclined to start covering up well before then. So maybe we will review in time, but at the moment I think being nude when it's appropriate - getting out of the shower, getting dressed etc is absolutely fine and not something that should be covered up.

Explaining about parts of the body being private is a good idea though - have been trying that one on DS1, who has a slight tendency to fiddle absent-mindedly with himself. Sigh - boys.

mrsmaidamess · 09/01/2009 19:56

My dd is 13...and I still prance about naked whether she likes it or not.. But dh covers up...we still are nudey with the boys, much to their hilarity.'Look at Mummy's bum'

FrannyandZooey · 09/01/2009 19:57

yes not until they get embarrassed by it
the sex of child and parent irrelevant at this point

uptomyeyes · 09/01/2009 19:58

We still walk around naked in front of the DS's who are 11yo, 7yo and 2.....not sure if or when it will ever stop. DS1 wouldn't let me into the changng room at a shop the other day when he was trying on new jeans, it did make me think whether he is finally becomning a little bit inhibited about his own body.

Original poster

funtimewincies · 09/01/2009 20:02

Oh good, I'm pleased that a relaxed approach is the norm. I don't want to give up those lovely baths with ds just yet, he's very good at doing my back .

OP posts:

notnowbernard · 09/01/2009 20:03

treedelivery · 09/01/2009 20:05

We're with the trend here, all naked when and if required and certainly not covering up, and lots of giggles from dd [age 4] at
big boobies and her little boobies and the pink bits on boobies and the underneath of boobies.....

Daddy is not interesting as no boobies and also 'too hairy mummy - tell daddy to put a t shirt on'. She has shown a very limited interest in his 'pipe'. Very sensible name for it!

We had absolutely none of this in my house when I grew up, am inclined to think dh had too much of it in his [they are still very relaxed about this stuff] so will review as the hormones hit later on. I had to make myself be naked in front of dd at first but I've got used to it now.

It has to help with positive body image, to feel comfortable and accepting of the body and it's differences. Have to pretend to love my big belly and boobs [i regulary wobble them for her ] to my 4 year old who has already picked up the germ of 'if I do my exercises I will be nice and slim'. Think I stuffed some pringles into her and ordered on the couch for tv when I heard that! It starts sooooo young

AMumInScotland · 09/01/2009 20:36

Another one here going with the trend - no need to be uncomfortable about bodies and nudity for either parent until and unless your child shows they are uncomfortable with it. Typically that starts maybe 8 or 10, or when they start puberty and feel more body-conscious in themselves. If they are used to seeing normal ordinary bodies they'll be more confident about bodies in general and how varied they are, instead of only getting to see idealised airbrushed bodies.

devilisunaccomplishedinprada · 10/01/2009 00:20

I'm always naked in this house. I'm very relaxed about being naked in front of my dds but I suppose it's easier as they're girls. DH is uncomfortable being completely naked in front of them and always has boxer shorts on in case they come in the bedroom. He always locks the door when getting a shower too. I think this has probably contributed to the fact that dd1 (5) has only just discovered that boys don't have front bums like girls they do in fact have "wellies".

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 10/01/2009 00:44

We wander about naked. DD1 is now 11 and will cover up in front of DH now but still happily wander in to brush her teeth while he is in the shower - she is not embarrassed by HIS nudity, only her own.

vixma · 10/01/2009 00:54

No, u ar fine.

bellavita · 10/01/2009 01:04

The DS's are 11 and 9 and they still see DH and I naked when we get out of the shower/bath.

Tis no good locking the bathroom/shower room door in our house as DS2 just unpicks and comes in if he wants to talk to you!!

andaSOLOnewyear · 10/01/2009 01:12

Ds is 10.5, Dd is 2...naked household here too...though it's only me...but when Dd's dad was here, he was naked in front of her, but not my son, which is understandable as he isn't his father.
As a single parent, it wasn't practical to cover up in front of Ds and it's never been an issue. He's quite proud showing me his pubes up close! but when he starts to be uncomfortable or gets too 'curious', then I will have to rethink it I guess.

juneybean · 10/01/2009 01:14

When I was younger I always saw my parents naked. Even when I have my niece I have no qualms getting naked in front of her - though she does like to squish my tummy

andaSOLOnewyear · 10/01/2009 01:20

I was the opposite juney, I've never seen my parents naked ~ unless you count the time my mum lost her towel on the landing when I dropped by, but I was in my 30's then!

uptomyeyes · 11/01/2009 10:29

lol at bella's ds unpicking the lock to come in for a chat

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN · 11/01/2009 10:33

the sex of the parent has no bearing at all

both parents should be seen to be comfortable in their own skin in front of either sex children right up until the point the child feels they dont want to do that anymore

your ds will stop comin into the bathroom when he knows you are naked and cover himself up when he decides and that could be 7 or 13

really no need to worry about it at all

and if you had a dd, no your dh should not be coverin up

our dds are 8,3 and 23 months
they all see dh naked

nissa · 11/01/2009 15:08

I agree that you should try and lead him to have a comfortable view of his body. There will be a time when you explain that other people don't want to see that part of him/you/dh but as you're family, it's ok!

My dd is 8 and we are often naked together. She doesn't seem embarrassed at all. In fact it was me the other day in the family changing rooms at swimming who blushed! She said Very loudly -'mum, what is going on with your boobs - they're HUGE' I am 25 week pregnant btw!

What was worse is that the women in the next cubicle burst out laughing! I SLOWLY finished getting changed so she was well gone before I opened the door!

wenceslasmyeducation · 11/01/2009 15:29

Don't remember ever seeing my Dad naked, but he's v. prudish. He worked away a lot and me, Mum and Sis didn't worry about covering up when he was away.
Me and DH sleep in the nude and I can't imagine covering up in front of DS, but he's still a baby and is entitled to his boob close-ups as we're breastfeeding.

andaSOLOnewyear · 13/01/2009 01:03

Nissa, you just reminded me of the time I had Ds is a public loo cubicle with me and he made a comment about my hairy bits! why are they always loud when they say these things in a public place?!

Original poster

funtimewincies · 13/01/2009 15:53

Lol anda - shouting 'boobies' and cackling is top-level entertainment in ds' world. Dh says he wishes that he could get away with it as an adult .

OP posts:

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