Potty training twins and 2 different problems - take pity on me and give me some help!

[2toddlersandme]

Twins are 2.7 and we've been introducing the idea of potty training for a couple of months. I haven't pushed them (in some ways it's easier with 2 when they are in nappies). So;

DT1 (girl - this may be relevant)
Wearing pants since Christmas (but only if they are pink obviously). Pretty reliable, but gets defensive when asked if she wants to go to the potty / toilet and often refuses. Yesterday she refused and then ended up doing a huge wee all over the seat in a cafe (I have no inhibitions left). How do I persuade her to go? I'm worried that bribery will mean she doesn't go unless she's bribed (she's pretty strong willed). On the plus side she is pooing in the right recepticle unlike....

DT2 (boy...)
Still wearing pull up nappy as a bit unreliable and can only cope with one out of control widdler at a time, but dry at nights and does use the potty if prompted. However, he has started taking off his nappy to poo and, yes, ...poo smearing. I put a potty in his room during his nap, but he still managed to poo on the floor and smear it all over the windows (DH and I were planning a 'quiet moment' and I went in to check he was asleep - it killed the passion I can tell you . Fortunately unlike a recent post, he hasn't taken to eating it...yet. I am so sick of clearing up poo.......I don't mind if he wants to stay in nappies, but between the dog and the children I have spent the last 3 years of my life picking up poo and I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!!!

Thanks for listening...

Hi, gosh I had a hard enough time just training one.
DT1...in my experience bribes are easily weaned away so even if it is just a sticker for every success she has I would go for it. We also had a rule everyone used the toilet before leaving the house to try and avoid cafe incidents.
DT2...I think I would tend to leave him a bit longer in nappies, turn them around backwards so he cannot access poo and try again in a few weeks. You can still ask him to use the potty and give him these opportunities but if unreliable and poo smearing my gut feeling would be not yet ready.
Hope this helps...probably someone with much more knowledge will come along and correct me.

Thanks Yawning....stickers are a really good idea. I was thinking only in terms of edible treats and then I get into a mess because it seems really unfair for DT2 not to get one too (and they are HUGELY competitive). And I think you're probably right that he's not quite ready (although it is v irritating because apart from the poo smearing incident he has actually been dry all day). How do you turn the nappies round? Not pull ups I guess. Would quite like to keep him in those if possible as he will pull them down to wee.
And yes 2 at a time is quite challenging. Makes me laugh because there's a thread at the moment about twins (paying for school trips or smg - I kept out of it ) and people are saying having twins is just like having 2 children of different ages. Well, not at the moment it isn't!!!!!
Any more thoughts really welcome....you can have one of my new stickers!

bump for 2tam. I was thinking of nappies on backwards more than pullups as pullups are easy access for a poo smearer. Hope others can help more

Maybe it's worth concentrating on your DD as she seems more ready than your DS ATM and hopefully he will follow in due course. IMO and I have 4 DSs, boys (or my DSs) tend to be nearer 3 to be fully successful. But I'm still having big problems with DS4 (for will be 4 inc a couple) still pooing in pants/night nappy - he's starting school in September !

I would also put the nappy on back to front or put DS in a vest with poppers underneath if he doesn't undo them. I put DS4 in those old fashioned babygrows that had the hatch thing at the back as well - very difficult to get out of etc. (Got them from Verbeudet)

Oh my God. Wail! I have twin girls (1.9) and because they now regularly tell us when they want to poo, my husband has got all excited about potty training. Reading your post has made me decide to

1 - Hide the potties right now and hear no more talk of toilet training for another year at least

2 - Be sure and get a full-time job around potty training time. DH can jack in his job or take a sabbatical or summat. My sanity rests on a slender ledge as it is and I would NOT cope with poo smearing.

Good luck to you, 2toddlersandme

I bribed Thomas with chocolate buttons when I started potty training four weeks ago. He's been clean and dry for a couple of weeks now and has forgotten about the choccy buttons!
We also had a star chart, but the buttons were alot more successful

Thanks everyone.

Good advice re. trying back to front nappies/vests etc. I'll definitely try that. And it's really interesting (and a relief) that you said boys are often nearer 3 countingto10 - and you should know with 4 DSs (don't you ever get overwhelmed by all that testosterone ). There just feels like so much pressure to potty train. One of my friends 'trained' her twins at 2 (but they both needed several changes of clothes when I was with them!). And my mum has been banging on about almost since they were born in typical grandma style

MinaLoy - I think poo smearing is more of a male pursuit. DD would be too worried about getting anything on her pink dress (which is all she will wear at the moment). And yes - I think the situation feels harder because I actually am on sabbatical at the moment. Fortunately DH has come with me and we are somewhere hot, but it's a time when it would be good for nursery to be doing their bit!! Upside is the house is rented.
How are you finding twin life? I found it great, but exhausting. They're both good as gold at the moment though - sat on their pink and blue potties watching some wierd Australian 70s cartoon obviously created by someone on LSD!

And chocolate buttons sound a good idea Karoleann. I used some dinosaur sweets today that some friends gave them (additive free obviously , although how when they are yellow and red I have no idea!). Only downside was that DD took about an hour to eat it (only tiny) and I started panicking her teeth would fall out before she was fully potty trained. Having said that she has just been really good and told us she needed a wee - granted we had just got on a bus and ended up having to get off and walk all the way home, but at least no public humiliation for me today...(there's always tomorrow).

I don't claim to have first hand experience of potty training twins but I have just witnessed my DSis potty train her two, and was watching with interest as my DS was coming up to that time too...

Anyway, she actively made a point of NOT doing them together. She did each of them when she felt they were ready. So DD was done first - and she pretty much just nailed it shortly after her second birthday, was shown what to do and was away. She's now (2.8) reliably getting up and dealing with it all herself in the night, so dry then too. Perfect, easy. Her DS was later at 2.6 and took more effort on her part - bribes and constant reminders for a month. Now mostly reliable, and will ask although not so much when out. My DS who is a month younger we started a fortnight ago - he's had 3 accidents since Day 2 and has now been asking to go for the last 4/5 days but is struggling to ask when out/at preschool - he's leaving it till he's busting and therefore v little time!

So given those 3 quite different experiences, I think you have to treat them separately and see how that gets you. Also means you're not dealing with two loads of accidents/unreliability at the same time but does mean when DS' time is ready he has a perfect role model in his sister.

Thanks Weegle - that's really helpful. All my friends with twins had done them together, which actually is completely illogical and feels like a Hurculean task! And we've made a lot of progress with dd (with help from some stickers) who is now pretty reliable. And I've concluded that ds is just not ready really and he'll manage it in his own time (apparently it took my brother years ). But he does pay attention to dd - you're right. He's ever so funny he crouches down to talk to her when she's on the potty "have you done a poo xxxx, good girl,.....!!".

Good luck with your ds.