controlled crying

[happynewmummy]

My 8 week old baby will not sleep! Do I try controlled crying or is he too young? If I should try it - any tips??? I don't want to end up with him relying on me to get him to sleep forever! Thanks- from a not so happy new mummy! xx

mmme not a troll by any chance?

Too young. 8 weeks is tiny If he needs cuddles/milk from you to get to sleep now, then that is because he is a tiny, tiny baby! Sleep training can come later.

babies do sleep , but not necessarily for long stretches. also 8 weeks is prime growth spurt time, whether breast or bottle fed, so a crying baby usually needs

milk
winding
nappy change

and lots of cuddles and closeness

he has barely realised he is now a seperate entity from you, controlled crying wouyld be cruel

crying is the only way he has to communicate with you, so learn what the different cries mean and be sure not to overstimulate your baby, as that can make it harder for them to sleep, and being overtired also makes it harder to settle

When you say 'will not sleep' - what do you mean?
He needs you to go to sleep or
does he wake up every 30 minutes?

Are you yourself coping ok?

8 weeks is a little young to worry about forever.

hmmmm, if you are real, then you need to take a deep breath and think that your baby is still TINY. VERY few 8 weekers are good self settlers or will sleep through, so yes it is FAR too young for controlled crying.

Do you have a bedtime routine even a very simple one? Mine was always BATH, BOTTLE, BED and it seemed to work well, after a few weeks (they were in SCBU for 8 weeks) the sleep triggers really worked. They knew bathtime meant bedtime, so would start to wind down and after a bottle of milk would be close to but not quite asleep, so I would put them in their cots awake and just leave them. Few wimpers but seconds later they would be asleep.

Thank you DaddyJ for your concern about my wellbeing too - (Think!?)I am coping as have supportive husband. And Neeerly3 -I am very real! With this being my first baby (and having no experience at all with babies before this a friend said that CC was the route she had taken and it had worked for her. Did think myself it was very young (not to mention feeling cruel) at this age but just need some advice and support. Have been doing bed, bath breastfeed routine since 2 weeks old. Perhaps he just doesn't need much sleep??? He only slept 8 hours in 24 on Monday.

you cannot expect any routine to have any longevity at this age, a breastfed baby needs feeding on demand/responsively, and that can often mean lots of cluster feeding and night feeds, whihc are normal, though tiring.

a growth spurt, catching a cold, a stimulating day etc cna all interfere with ability to settle, so just try to take each day as it comes and respond to your baby;s needs

No, that sounds ok to me, glad you are doing well,
even more pleased to hear your dh is a top man

8 hours sleep in 24 by itself does not mean much,
question is: does he seem unhappy, does he cry a lot?
Was it only 8 hours because he kept waking up?

If the answer to all the above is No
then forget about sleep training (let alone CC)
and just enjoy your little lad!

He does need more sleep than 8 in 24 but I know how hard it can be to get them to have it! My DS hardly slept at all during the day from 7-10 weeks old and when he did he was fed/rocked to sleep or slept in the buggy.
I think it's a tough age as they are just getting past that newborn sleeping all the time thing but not yet able to settle themselves.
My advice is to do anything you can to get your baby to sleep - feeding, rocking, cuddling, shhhing, music, walking, car trips...anything! With DS, he used to like being held in our arms and bounced on the birthing ball.
When he was 5 months old, we started putting him down awake and he was able to settle himself. With hindsight, we probably could have tried this earlier but got into a habit of bouncing him.

He can settle himself really well now (at 14months).
8 weeks old is far too early to worry about bad habits I promise. He needs you to help him sleep at the moment but he won't forever.

way too young
just feed him and cuddle him

have you a sling (not a Bjorn type, a real sling)? they make it easy for babies to nod off without pinning you to the sofa

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not at 8 weeks. It might feel like forever but believe me it will get better. Please don't do cc on an 8 week old

thank you so much for all your advice - just knowing that other people have been there helps. Will definately look into a sling (have a baby bjorn one but not great for in the house) Any recommendations???
Pitchounette - many thanks for the advice - bought the GF book before DS was born - I think that is what has got me all worked up in the first place as he doesn't fit in with her 'suggestions' at all. I agree the not letting babies be awake for more than 2 hours is a good idea - but getting DS to sleep is another matter altogether - lol!

Big Mama Slings is a good place to start - I started off with a wrap but found it cumbersome and hard to get on so got a cheapy unpadded pouch - this is the new version form the same supplier which is posher than mine. DH had a Hotsling (same idea but a bit plusher) and got on very well with it.

Happy, I am so at my first response to your post. It was totally without compassion (or any advice) and for that I am sorry. It is very easy to forget how hard those first few months are when you are suddenly responsible for this tiny little thing and sleep deprivation is driving you half mad.

I think from the responses here you will see that CC isn't really the best solution for an 8 week old baby. When DD was that age, once she was fed, winded, changed, cuddled and still wouldn't sleep, I found static radio worked wonders! Don't understand why and for some bizarre reason I felt I was cheating by doing it, but desperate for sleep I used to resort to it often. Of course now I laugh at myself about that, and of course it was not 'cheating'!

Your DS will eventually settle into his own routine and you will manage to get more than 40 minutes sleep at any one time! Good luck & use mn as much as you can - you will get some great support. I really wish I had found it when DD was so little.

Rindercella just reminded me of a couple of other things to try to get your DS to sleep - hairdryers and white noise CDs. I did try the hairdryer thing with DS but it didn't work...might for you though!

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Hi happynewmummy, I always found the hoover to be a godsend! Also, a vibrating bouncy chair was pretty good. Both helped my LO to sleep at that age. It's so hard and tiring with such a little baby, but it gets easier honest.