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Parenting

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Original poster

my ds 4 will only poo in his nappy

14 replies

ilikeshoes · 06/01/2009 11:02

He has been out of nappies in the day since he was 3 and has had no problems using the toilet for a wee, however will not poo always waits for me to put a nappy on before bed to do it, he has randomly done a poo on the toilet before bout three times, i have tried removing nappy alltogether but he went 4 days without pooing and got constipated please help.x

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Supercherry · 06/01/2009 14:48

bump

Original poster

ilikeshoes · 06/01/2009 17:22

bump

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scrambledhead · 06/01/2009 19:20

Been there, done that. DS1 was dry at 2.5 but I'm afraid it took another year to get him to poo on the toilet. He never had any accidents, just wanted a nappy to do it in. Everybody kept reassuring me that it's really common and to wait until he was ready. Sorry I can't help but didn't want you to go unanswered.

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Original poster

ilikeshoes · 06/01/2009 19:23

Thanks, yeah he never has any accidents neither i really don't understand it, thanks for answering.

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Daffodilly · 06/01/2009 21:34

You've probably tried this so sorry if redundant - but bribery?

We are just potty training DD from start and she was fine with wees from start and almost phobic about poos. After 8 weeks I decided to try bribery with gold chocolate coins over Xmas and it seems to have worked really well (so far).

It was also suggested to me that we line potty with a nappy to poo on (though this didn't help for us). Just before resorting to bribery I also tipped a poo out of her nappy into the potty and we sat and admired it together! Can't say if that made a difference or not, but seemed to at least reassure her a bit.

Good luck - it is very stressful.

Original poster

ilikeshoes · 07/01/2009 09:44

Thankyou daffodily for replying i was beginning to think i was the only one with this problem, yes i have tried reward charts and bribery he is just adament, it is rather stressfull as he has just turned 4, i dont use the potty anymore as he will use the toilet unaided to wee, i'm at my wits end i've tried everything i can possibly think off, removing the nappy, bribery, new big boy pants, removing the nappy alltogether, talking to him.
hopefully he will just grow out of it or i will be using nappies untill hes 15.

OP posts:

Android · 15/01/2009 00:56

At least he is waiting for you to put a nappy on him!!! My DS, 3 yrs 8 mths, just does one whenever - and cleaning that out of pants and off legs, bottom, boy bits etc, is not pleasant!!! Don't know why, but when they do it in the pants it just seems to spread so much more!!! Don't lose hope yet, all we can do is persevere. Sorry can't offer more positive advice, but it's not easy!!!!

mrsgboring · 15/01/2009 16:07

Another one here whose DS is totally resistant to pooing anywhere but nappy/pullups/pants. Hoping there is someone out there with The Answer.

countingto10 · 15/01/2009 21:12

Another one here whose 4yr old DS4 still pooing in pants/night nappy/on floor etc - trying to bribe him with a red DS (he has seen it upstairs, waiting for him) but he is obviously not motivated enough.

He starts school in September so should be interesting because he doesn't just reserve it for me, he does it for anyone, nursery, grandparents etc.

At least I'm not the only one going through it (although it feels like it .

LaundryFairy · 15/01/2009 22:14

We went through exactly the same thing, ilikeshoes. We got really stressed by the whole thing (especially the constipation and withholding poo). Our health visitor referred us to a child development specialist who was lovely - really good listener, supportive and not critical of what we had done / tried.
I think that what works in the end for you will be specific to what your child is like. For us, we found that none of the tricks, bribes or any other tips we were given had any effect, other than to make him withold his poo. Eventually, he just decided, one day, that he would do his poo in the toilet. It was just a couple of weeks before his 5th birthday. I think it may have been brought on by seeing a school friend using the loo, but still not sure.

And even now, when he is approaching 6, he is not completely independant. He still wants us nearby, sometimes to help him clean himself up.

The specialist thought our DS might have been trying to hold on to one aspect of 'babyhood', enjoying the feeling of being looked after. Whatever the reason, we had to give up trying to make him change - he just did it when he was ready.

Good luck, and if you're really struggling, considder asking for a referal to get some personal help.

squeaver · 15/01/2009 22:18

Bribery worked for us when dd was 3 and after poos in her pants every day for SIX MONTHS.

But first we withheld all treats - no biscuits or sweets AT ALL - and told her she'd only get one when she did a poo in the toilet. And that was the only discussion we had on the subject. Took about 2 weeks but she finally got the message (and a chocolate button!)

hotCheeseBurns · 15/01/2009 22:19

Do you let him watch you and your dp poo? Just to show him it's normal and everyone does it?

Pannacotta · 15/01/2009 22:22

SOme kids are scared of sitting on the loo to do a poo, DS1 was a bit like that. He was worried he woudl fall in.
I got him a well fitting Baby Bjorn childs loo seat so he felt secure enough to relax and do a poo.
We also bribed him with choc goodies from M&S and lollipops (neither of which he gets usually) and this helpd.

onyourmarks · 16/01/2009 23:55

My friend has a DD aged just 3 who is exactly like this, only in a nappy and constipates herself otherwise. Have tried everything like suggested! Parents are both docs and have talked to other professionals about it. Conclusion is it is a psychological problem but were advised to wait awhile as it is difficult to reason with a 2/3 year old. One of their medical friends had a son who was 4 with this problem who they took to see someone and it all got sorted fairly quickly as it is easier to communicate with a 4yr old. If I were you I would explore this option, speak to your GP/health visitor to get some help. Mainly for his self esteem going forward, never mind the frustration etc. I am of course assuming he is developing normally in every other way (i.e no communication issues). Good luck.

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