Hi,
My DD1 was 17.5 months when DD2 was born. They're now v nearly 2 and 6 months. Both were BF but mercifully DD1 had given up by the time DD2 arrived (not sure I could have managed tandum feeding).
For what it's worth this is my experience! First few weeks was easy, or at least seemed it (DD1 was c-section, DP had to go to work 3 days after I got out and DD1 was,err, high maintenance) DD2 was natural birth, DP had 2 weeks off and DD2 is calm by nature. Oh, and she slept lots. DD1 took to having a little sis like a duck to water.
Then we moved house and area when she was 5 weeks old so the next 2 months are a bit of a blur!
We tried really hard to stick to DD1's routine (she wakes early 6-7ish, naps for about 2 hours at about noon and is in bed by 7 at the latest - she needs her sleep.) I got rather proficient at BF while walking, playing, climbing stairs. And once we got into it, I BF whilst sitting on the floor a lot so DD1 could clamber and cuddle at the same time. Read lots of books and sang lots of songs (at this point I hadn't quite cottoned on to what a godsend Cbeebies can be, I have learnt from my mistakes now !)
Sticking to DD1's routine was great for her, and meant that we did have some sort of "family routine" however, I did find it a bit tricky with DD2 for a few months (probably between the age of 3-5 months ish). This was mainly because I didn't PUT DD1 into a routine, I just watched and studied her lots and sort of followed her lead - couldn't do this with DD2. I won't lie - I found that stage really difficult, I couldn't figure out when DD2 was tired, she doesn't fall asleep on her own (although, she might be just heading in the right direction now, fingers crossed), a couple of times I ended up feeding her so much to try to get her to sleep that she got terrible tummy ache.
I would say that it is only in the last 4 weeks or so that DD2 has been really in a "routine" and as such I feel like I kind of have a routine too. Before then DD1 had a routine, DD2 fitted in around that and I ran between the two of them fighting fires!
Now that I've depressed you I'll give you a brief idea of our routine 6 months down the line in the hope that it will give you some hope. And it's a very "ish" routine, definitely not set in stone. Oh, and DD2 goes for 6 hours without a feed between 3am and 9am - I can't figure out how to get her to do that between midnight and 6am which would be lovely...
7ish get up, usually with both. (DD1 seems to be sleeping a bit later at the moment)
7.30 Breakfast for both (DD2 just started weaning) then get dressed, potter. I try tp clean kitchen
9.00 DD2 BF and 20 min catnap on my lap while DD1 watches Balamory and whatever gumpf follows
Get out the house!
11.30ish lunch. Although sometimes we skip this and go straight to nap with lunch after
12ish, DD1 in cot for nap DD2 BF and nap. I have no idea how I have wangled this but my little beauties have decided to nap at the same time - I love it! Yesterday DD1 had 2 hours and DD2 had 3hrs - it was bliss. won't last for long I;m sure.
2ish DD2 usually has a "wake-up" BF. Either get out if both wake up in time or stay in, run in garden and make a big mess....
4ish DD2 BF and catnap while DD1 Cbeebies again. ( I realised these catnaps were vital to DD2 otherwise she just couldn't cope and she won't nap properly so I decided that Cbeebies was the only way I could make sure DD1 didn't wake her up!)
5ish dinner
5.30ish bath if I can be bothered or if they're doing my head in! I still don't have the energy to have enforced baths every night, they do some weeks, don't others.
6ish DD2 is desperate for bed so BF and sleep in the quiet while DP has some time with DD1 (he gets home at 6).
6.30-7ish DD1 bedtime.
Oops. That's rather an essay. Hope it's some help. Good luck