i am just too crap a mother

[pleaserewind]

It always lurks in the back of my mind, but every time i get premenstrual it always makes em cry.
I don't think i am a good enough person to be a great mum to my boys. They much prefer dh .

He has a job, i don't and have only had 2 jobs ever..both of them were skivvies jobs

I am shy and find it difficult to try new things and talk to new people, dh is upbeat, exciting and does extreme sports.

He can drive, therefore take them to great places and as he points out i only take them to the park.

I am boring, insecure, naggy, narky and obsessed with a tidy house. worry what people think all the time and don't even have a clue how to manage the finances, how to buy a house, get insurance whatever.
I am 30 ffs and i have done crap all and i am sad

don't want sympathy, just wanted to get some of it out. so everyone can just ignore me

that was supposed to be makes ME cry

Message withdrawn

who do they run to when they hurt themselves or are upset?

pr, you've done the most magic thing of all!
Become a mother....twice!!
We all get down with it all sometimes but fgs, you're a baby! 30 is nothing!!!!

kids don't always appreciate great places anyway - and there is just as much place for running round the local park/playground as there is for great stuff

sounds like you need a great big boost of self-confidence and a chance to have your own fun.

how old your boys?

I presume you don't drive? what's public transport like where you are?

no i don't drive. I just feel that i'm not much fun. i feel like i'm faking it so they can have fun iyswim but it seems to come natural to other people and they are truly enjoying being kiddish.