Please help me, I'm dreading bedtime already (long, sorry)

[dontbitemytoes]

I am looking for any advice at all, even negative, because somehow dd has got the better of me, and all of our sleep is suffering.

dd is an incredibly bright and determined 16 month old who wears me out, but who i love dearly. She is very wilful, and we have regular all-out tantrums here whenever i say no to something. They last a good 5 minutes and include her throwing herself on the floor, screaming and stamping in rage, only to calm down and do the same again. I can cope with this in the day, but nighttime is a different game.

dd goes to bed at 7/7:30 every night and wakes at around 6am. She has always been a very good sleeper. Just before christmas we were all ill and when she would wake at around 5am for some milk (she's never grown out of this) dh and i would take in turns taking her into the spare room with us so she would drink her milk and return to sleep for the last hour or so.

She is now teething (i think) and for the past 5 nights her sleep has been disrupted to suc an extent that when put in her cot she will not settle at all despite her being absolutely knackered, and when she wakes she again won't settle. If we lift her out of her cot, she refuses to return.

Last night as the worst yet, with her shouting on and off from 7:30 to about 8:30, then wakng crying until around midnight when she was inconsolable. Eventually I took her into the spare room at that point, and all night she kept waking, shouting "mummy" and then sighing and snuggling into me when she saw me there.

Today she refused to go in her cot for her daytime nap and i carried out cc with her, meaning she fell asleep within about 10 mins (i went in to lie her down every 2 mins). We had prevously done cc with her with success.

I know what the problem is really, it's that we are not consistent at night. We sometimes lift her out of the cot for a cuddle, sometimes try cc, sometimes take her into the spare rom to co-sleep, but it's because at night, i cannot tell why she is crying, if she's in pain, if it's seperation anxiety or what, and being slee deprived I'm not emotionally strong enough to cope with her crying.

If in the cot, she will not stop crying unless i physically touch her, sitting near her is not enough.

daddy is not enough for he, she screams mummy" for me, which is heartbreaking for both of us.

Please help me break this cycle and get to sleep, i'm back at work tomorrow and need my sleep so much

Thank you if you've read this far.

Not much help here - dd (also bright, determined and 16m) has always been a shocking sleeper, but we have been consistent in our approach at night.

Unless she's actually ill (screams if put down) or in pain (falls asleep on boob and will be put down but wakes up exactly 6 minutes later), dd gets milk and a cuddle till she goes back to sleep, which is usually within 10min. No fun, no stories, no eye contact, but physical reassurance. I barely wake up while doing it these days.

Personally I think if your dd will settle in the cot with (eg) your hand on her, then do that, even if it means hanging over the cot in your dressing gown for 30min before staggering back to bed.

thanks mrsbadger, i think i might have to hang over her cot all night - unless anyone else has any suggestions?

Well, she went to sleep with no fuss. during the day, and in her bath tongiht, i told her that shw was going to go to bed tonight, in her own cot. No mummy. No big bed, just her cot. And mummy and daddy would come in if she cried, but that she must stay in her cot. She said "yeah"

i reiterated it whilst getting her dressed for bed, and whilst on my lap reading her bedtime story. She said "byebye" to the book, pointed to her bed and settled straight down.

amazing.

I hope the rest of the night goes well.