Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Help - 3 year old not interested in potty training

8 replies

henryhsmum · 03/01/2009 21:17

Hi

I have a son who has just turned 3. I've started trying to potty train him this week but he doesn't seem to get the idea at all.

I've read up quite a lot on what to do, signs of readiness etc. he does show some of the signs of readiness e.g. can partly dress himself, knows diff between wet and dry (in context of washing his hands). But he has never really told me when he wants a wee or poo but sometimes he will say if he has done a poo but he is consistent here and will sometimes say e has when he hasn't.

Have tried introducing the potty this week and explained it was for wee and poo. he never asked for it but I have sat him on it every 30 mins or so - he hasn't performed and asks to get up almost immediately. He won't sit on it for any length of time (i.e less than a minute) and the only way I've got him to sit on it was letting him watch Thomas the Tank Engine DVD! He did do a wee on it then but inadvertently I think and I tried to show him and congratulate him but he wasn't interested in it at all. Most of the time he will puddle on the floor and quite frequently - sometimes 2/3 times an hour depending on how much he'd has to drink. He has always drunk a lot and it is the norm for his nappies to be quite wet.

I am really at my wits end with him (but I'm trying not to let him see it) as he doesn't seem at all interested in the potty and I don't think he even makes the connection between the fact that you have to wee and poo in the potty. I have him in pants as he hates being dirty with his food and will wipe even the tiniest mark off the table before he will finish eating and I hoped that this would mean he would also hate being wet (and hence use potty) but he hardly seems to notice. I've also tried a toilet seat but he just says don't like! Its not just a case of he has accidents it that he won't use the potty at all!

I have another 4 days off work to try and get this sorted and I really don't know what to do. His nursery will take him with nappies and will help with potty training but know the way he is. They don't mind a few accidents but the child has to be at least partly potty trained.

I feel that at 3 he is already a bit late to start potty training but he has never really shown all signs of readiness in terms of saying/knowing when he needs a wee or poo but I thought that by 3 I wouldn't leave it anymore.

One other factor is that his Dad and I split up earlier this year and he does play me up more than his Dad. But he hasn't responded to potty training with his Dad either. I think with him it is more a case of he likes me to baby him than anything else as until recently he would try and insist on me carrying him and even now I have to take a buggy everywhere as he often won't walk or won't walk in the right direction/runs off!

I'm considering trying the Pampers feel n learn nappies when he goes back to nursery.I know people say you shoudl keep them out of nappies once you start training and I do agree with it but I think it is a different case when like my son they have no idea what to do with the potty.

Any help/advice would be really appreciated

Thanks

Rebecca

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Racingsnake · 03/01/2009 22:20

Haven't done this yet, but getting lots of advice. Two things come to mind; HV says give it a try then if it doesn't work give it up and try again in a month's time, and secondly, use real nappies. You could get some cheaply on ebay since you wouldnt be needing them for long. I am absolutely certain that you shouldn't let him see that it upsets/worries you. Either he'll play you up even more, if this is what's happening, or he'll get worried.

wrinklytum · 03/01/2009 22:25

Hav you tried sitting him on the toilet on one of those little toilet seat thingummys instead of a potty?Just a thought.DS preferred learning to wee on a proper toilet and hated the potty

henryhsmum · 03/01/2009 22:35

Hi

Have tried toilet seat insert but he freaked when he saw it! If he has got upset or cross about the potty/toilet I tend to just leave it that time as I don; want it to turn into a battleground with him.

I don't get angry with him when he has accidents but maybe do ask too much - today we had timer set on my mobile for every 25 minutes and said its potty time every time it went off but made no difference!

I think I'm probably going to have to leave it for a while if nothing progresses in next 3.4 days. I do feel a bit better after looking on this site though as it seems a lot of children aren't potty trained until into their 3rd year so hopefully he'll be out of nappies by school!

What worries me most is that he never tells me when he needs a wee or poo or even if he has done one and I don't think he understands if I ask him - often he will just repeat back what I said so he might say have a wee but he's just copying me rather than answering the question!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Racingsnake · 03/01/2009 22:53

A friend of mine says her ds was trained (he was very late) by taking him out into the garden and getting him to 'water the flowers'. Maybe not in this weather. I have never seen a four-year old at our school still in nappies, so don't panic!

popcal · 04/01/2009 19:42

Hi my ds was 3 in Nov and showed no interest in potty training and had never used the potty. I planned to put him in pants just before xmas and then at the beginning of December he started taking his nappy off and didn't want to wear one at night. That was it, he has been using the potty and toilet alone and has been dry at night. Very few accidents too! Hopefully your Ds will decide when he wants to do it to!

Hellothemouse · 29/10/2010 20:03

Hello,
I am having the same problem with my son who is 3 in a week. Just wondered if you managed to get your son toilet trained and how it happened in the end.

Thanks

Jo

peachybums · 31/10/2010 12:18

If a child doesnt seem bothered if they are wet or dry or dont even seem to notice they are not ready at all. I know its frustrating i had same problem with DD1, DS was so quick at potty training but she seemed to take ages. Im hoping DD2 will be as quick as DS lol

Dont worry hell do it when hes ready!

shazkins74 · 17/11/2010 17:52

I am having the same problem but my son is 3.6 and refuses point blank to sit on the potty or the toilet. I have got 2 older children so it's not as if this is the first time i have had to potty train. I have been trying on and off for 18 months with no success and it's good to hear i am not the only one with this problem, even though you feel sometimes very alone. He recognises his nappy is wet and will take it off but as soon as he needs the toilet he asks for it on again, and i do ask him "is that because you need the toilet and he will say yes. He started nursery in August but i find his teacher is not very supportive about it. i have been to my health visitor and she keeps telling me to try again in a few months but time is getting on and i am very frustrated about it all please help with any more tips they will be much appreciated Confused

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread