am i nuts?

[mustbenuts]

namechanger here!

ds2 is only 6 weeks old, it's taken me 6 weeks to feel half human after my c-section and emotionally i've been all over the place, but somewhere deep down although i've been in a heaven and hell type la la land emotionally and phyically i am thinking i could do it one more time and go for number 3, i'll be 38 this year and would want to do it soon!! dh is 40 and we are both shattered from the lack of sleep and the demands of a toddler and baby with no family nearby to help...

dh isn't keen on dc3 unless we can guarantee a girl, i'm willing to take the risk but then know that if we have another boy i will always wish i had a girl... i guess that's another thread!

anyway, am i mad? anyone feel/felt the same? anyone went for dc3 after 2 x ds's or 2 x dd's, how did you feel, was it worth it honestly?

i sometimes look at ds1 and think how different things would be if we had settled with just having him i.e. caribeean island over chrimbo just the 3 of us etc, but we struggled to ttc ds2 so never had a chance to really feel content with just him iykwim..

i'm waffling, hopefully someone will relate, if not then i really mustbenuts!!

Hmm personally I think i'd leave it as it is. I say this for two reasons:

1. You have a chance of another DS and if that could be a problem for you/DH then it isn't fair on the baby, having a baby should be unconditional, although once here I am sure neither of you could hold it against him.
2. If you struggled to conceive DS2 then it's possible it'll happen again and would you be able to stop trying if it didn't work out without repercussions? I think you run the risk of getting into 'unfinished business' territory which may hang over you if ttc doesn't work, but that is just what I'd feel so may of course not apply to yourself. HTH

Well, I had 2 dds and then went on to have a ds BUT I had always wanted at least 3 kids, and I really wasn't all that bothered whether he was a boy or a girl.

Subsequently we have decided enough is enough. We have both admitted that we would consider no 4 if we could guarantee it would be a boy, so ds would have a brother, but since we can't we won't!!

I do understand where you are coming from, I have 2 boys and always wonder what it would be like to have a daughter. BUT I only ever wanted 2 DC, my DS's are gorgeous and way more than I could handle (although if an "accident" did happen, I'm sure we'd cope), I would hate it for DS2 to feel incidental so if I was to have another I would almost want to be able to guarantee another boy, so he didn't feel like he was surplus to requirements IYSWIM.

One word of caution, I was broody at about 6weeks post partum with both DS's, it only lasted until they were about 4mths old (and started teething! )

Good luck, whatever you decide to do

I have just had a DD after 2DSs, but I always wanted 3 and didn't really mind if DC3 was a boy or girl.
However, I'm 39 and DH is 40, we have lots of family around and I am shocked by how much more hard work it is with 3. We're both in bits tbh, though of course wouldn't have it any other way.
DS1 is 4.5, DS2 is 2.5 DD is 11 wks.
What gap would you go for or would you need to start ttc straight away given history?

thanks for your honest replies, makes a lot of sense especially "unfinished business territory" which is where we were ttc #2.

i guess i need a reality check and perhaps the broodiness is maybe just post partum hormones!

don't get me wrong i am totally head over heels in love with both ds's and with ds2 i worry so much more than i did with ds1 as he is so so wanted and i haven't stopped staring at him. ds1 is brilliant he's 2.6 yrs and funny, happy and grounded. I am very very thankful and humbled to have what i have.

i am a middle child myself so know what you mean lizzylou as you put it i did feel surplus to my mother as it wasn't until dc 5 that she had the boy she wanted!!

pepperrabbit IF we did decide to go for it, we'd try as soon as my periods back on so i can start charting and for what it's worth time bd before ov to ttc for a girl... big IF though as the replies so far have helped me see clearer already!

i am now edging (tiny bit) to the be happy with 2 and get on with living our lives scenario....

anyway, thanks againx

thanks for your honest replies, makes a lot of sense especially "unfinished business territory" which is where we were ttc #2.

i guess i need a reality check and perhaps the broodiness is maybe just post partum hormones!

don't get me wrong i am totally head over heels in love with both ds's and with ds2 i worry so much more than i did with ds1 as he is so so wanted and i haven't stopped staring at him. ds1 is brilliant he's 2.6 yrs and funny, happy and grounded. I am very very thankful and humbled to have what i have.

i am a middle child myself so know what you mean lizzylou as you put it i did feel surplus to my mother as it wasn't until dc 5 that she had the boy she wanted!!

pepperrabbit IF we did decide to go for it, we'd try as soon as my periods back on so i can start charting and for what it's worth time bd before ov to ttc for a girl... big IF though as the replies so far have helped me see clearer already!

i am now edging (tiny bit) to the be happy with 2 and get on with living our lives scenario....

anyway, thanks againx

thanks for your honest replies, makes a lot of sense especially "unfinished business territory" which is where we were ttc #2.

i guess i need a reality check and perhaps the broodiness is maybe just post partum hormones!

don't get me wrong i am totally head over heels in love with both ds's and with ds2 i worry so much more than i did with ds1 as he is so so wanted and i haven't stopped staring at him. ds1 is brilliant he's 2.6 yrs and funny, happy and grounded. I am very very thankful and humbled to have what i have.

i am a middle child myself so know what you mean lizzylou as you put it i did feel surplus to my mother as it wasn't until dc 5 that she had the boy she wanted!!

pepperrabbit IF we did decide to go for it, we'd try as soon as my periods back on so i can start charting and for what it's worth time bd before ov to ttc for a girl... big IF though as the replies so far have helped me see clearer already!

i am now edging (tiny bit) to the be happy with 2 and get on with living our lives scenario....

anyway, thanks againx

sorry dont know what happened there!

Hmmm well I had three the same sex and would quite like a 4th of the same flavor too.
I think if all you want is the girl you shouldn't, I thought really long and hard weather I wanted a different colour or if it was a baby I wanted whatever it was.

After each of my 2 children, I felt the need to have more babies. i have discussed it around me and it happened to my friends too. Maybe a hormone thing. I have a 2 y/o DD and a 5 months old DS and I am just starting to think that I might stop now. DH categorically doesn't want a DC3, but the idea of never been pregnant again and never cuddle up to a newborn again makes me