Nap/sleep, can anyone help please??

[thegoblin]

Hi all,
My LO in now 17 weeks old and sleeps through the night brilliantly. However, since she came home she has always been difficult to get to sleep during the day. My husband has let her get used to sleeping on him which I know doesn't help matters. However, she has now developed an aversion for going to sleep at night. She used to go down awake and gently drift off, now she gets more and more distressed if we leave her. We have tried the baby whisperer's pick up/put down routine which is starting to work for the night issue. The day nap issue is getting worse, we have just tried for two hours to get her to sleep, she managed a whole 10 minutes in the cot. If we let her she would sleep on us, but we're trying to get out of that.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to try the controlled crying as she screams herself into a frenzy in our arms so it just wouldn't work with her. I am really at the end of my tether as she seems to be getting more distressed the more we try

Very hard thegoblin. Like you, my DD slept through the night very early and I had real trouble with her day naps. Sadly, until they can 'get themselves' off to sleep without crying themselves to sleep either the night or day are going to be an issue.

I tried everything, walked for miles then tried to sneak back in the house, rocked her in her seat until she dropped off then tried to put her in the cot etc etc.

Finally it came to me, I was using a different routine at night than I did in the day, so, I replicated it. I let her 'help' me close the curtains, put her in her sleeping bag and gave her some milk in her room then popped her in the cot as I did at night. And it worked pretty much right away. It also helped with the night sleeps as she did not get confused.

However, one bug bare is that she always wants milk before a sleep at home and she is 20 months old now. I have decided to just go with this until she no longer sleeps during the day, after all, milk is very good for them forever. Also, she does have a nap at nursery without having to have the bottle so I know she can do it really, it is just a comfort thing.

Sorry, I have been waffling on, what I meant to ask is if you do the same routine at night or during the day?

x

No we don't as we want to differentiate between night and day. I tend to feed her last thing at night to fill her up and get her through. We have just started reading her a story at night though so I might start trying that through the day to see if helps her relax a little. I think the 'sleeping on dad' hasn't helped so we have stopped that. I think we just need to get her used to the new way of doing things and hope things get easier.
I will start putting her in her sleeping bag during the day too.

Thanks for the support.

x

They (whoever 'they' are) do say 4 days to make a habit and 4 days to break. On the whole I have found this to be true, I mean, the 4 days are hell but means to an end and all that as long as DD is not too stressed.

Does your DD have a fave toy? DD has 'bedtime bunny' that signifies it is time to sleep. We try to make sure he does not travel out of the cot so she know it is bedtime when Buba comes out to play!

If pram not working during the day and you don't want to get into this habit, then a bit of breaking the habit might be needed. However, I am always shocked when the only alternative offered is controlled crying. We had a really tough time with our LO who is now 20 months as she had all sorts of sleep issues and in the end we had to do a very, very gradual withdrawal method for night (day we still did in pram although there were often tears) We did this with the help of a Sleep Lady who was very supportive and am just about to post about this for anyone interested so look at thread entitled, 'Our story, how we finally got through the hell of unsettled, sleepless baby'

Thanks for the answering my call to help. She does play with the little toys we have in the cot but hasn't attached to any yet. She falls asleep great when we take her out in the pushchair or car, yesterday she was out for nearly 90 mins after a long walk. But we really don't want to go down that route.
We'll just have to keep working on her and not give in. The poor thing was shattered tonight, couldn't stay awake to finish her bed time feed. She was flat out so put her in bed at 8.15pm (the earliest she has ever been asleep), she slept for an hour so I finished feeding her when she woke up. She's lying in her cot now, we hope she'll go back to sleep unassisted!!!
We certainly wont be doing the controlled crying!

I worked on a 7pm bedtime from about 4 weeks as she used to get very distressed and upset if we kept her downstairs with us after that time. Not controlled crying just fed her a big feed from 6.30pm ish and held her and fed until she feel asleep on her own, just as her eyes were starting to close I popped her down in her cot. First night it took 2 hours, from then slightly less each night and at 16 weeks I could feed her and put her down right away and she slept through. Those 12 weeks were hard but each night the routine got shorter and shorter. She was assured I was there and got better at settling herself. In that time I never once left the bedroom or gave up. It was bedtime and she learned that slowly. No matter how unsettled she was I never gave up, just cuddled and sang and fed. By 16 weeks I could start at 6.30pm and be back downstairs by about 7.15pm. She learned to fall asleep on her own but assured and comfortable.

I never woke her for a dream feed and at first she would be asleep at 9pm and awake at 2am and then 7am. Then as she feel asleep earlier she still only woke at 2am. Slowly but surely the 2am became 3 which became 4, 5, 6 etc. Now she sleeps 12 hours from whatever time I put her down.

It was not all roses but I was determined to teach her that whilst I was always there she could fall asleep on her own. I also 'pushed' a soft toy on her, one she could easily hold and chew and now it is a raggety skanky, dog-eared little thing but she loves it and it always helps to tell her it is bedtime.

DD is very self assured, loves her cot and bedroom and sleeps well. Maybe I am just lucky but it took patience and love and work too.

Her bed time is getting earlier. Last night she was actually asleep before 9, which was a first!! We've tried to get her to sleep earlier, but to no avail, so we are just bringing it forward a little every week! She has been sleeping 8-10hrs a night since about 7 weeks old. She used to fall asleep on a night on her own with no fuss up until her 12 week growth spurt. After that she seemed to get gradually more aggitated when we put her down, I did express a little during the day and top her up at night during the growth spurt to help get her through the night again. Then our fridge freezer broke so I had to throw the milk away and discovered she didn't need that top up anymore as she lasted 10 hrs plus!
I have managed to 'talk' her to sleep when she has stayed calm, reassuring her that 'I'm still there'but once she starts crying she won't have it.
When we went away for Christmas we travelled late so she slept in car. Each time we fed her on arrival and put her into bed, she fell asleep unassisted both times. Tonight, after passing out shattered she slept for an hour. I then fed her properly, winded her, and put her down. She chatted happily for a little while, checked we were still there twice (when we left her to it) and eventually fell asleep on her own!!! So she can do it, we just need to figure out how to get her to do it every time!
I like what you did though starting the routine at 7, if we ever have another we will be more dedicated to the bed time routine!