you know when they are over tired and it is mostly your fault

[yawningmonster]

how do you still keep calm and collected?
We took ds to a bbq tonight from 5pm. He was running around after other kids and mostly doing a great job. Sorted out a couple of scuffles but he coped much better than normal. We realised it was 8 oclock and I said to dh we needed to start heading home as ds was way past his bed time. Just as we were packing up he started trying to hit one the other children with a toy so I intervened and tried to distract (he had had the warning that we were preparing to go) He turned on me and started trying to hit me with it so I took the toy away and all hell broke loose. DS took a screaming flailing child out to the car and we drove home. He was in such a state he screamed all the way home and we had to haul him inside at the other end. He then insisted on doing the bedtime routine of jammas, teeth and story but was completely obnoxious about it while we are trying to be calm and clear but fully aware the sooner he hits the sack the better. I managed not to shout but the whole process of leaving just after 8 until now has taken an hour and am exhausted. Sorry that has probably been a horrendously long post

Just wondering do you all do what we do and just try to ride it out as positively as possible, we really wanted to avoid punishment for the rude and obnoxious behaviour (shouting at us, kicking, name calling, silly noises, taking jammas off as soon as on and then wanting them back on, wanting a particular toothbrush that has long been thrown out, etc, etc)as he was just tired and it was our fault or do you still put sanctions in place in these circumstances?

I think riding it out as you did was the best thing to do in that situation. Trying to apply sanctions etc would probably have made things much worse. How old is he?

Ride it out. As you did. No punishment. Then we he's rested and feeling better have a chat about it. Tell him that you appreciate he was tired but that sort of behaviour isn't OK. Anyway it's handy for the future. Bad behaviour merits the comment 'ooh you are tired, I think you should go to bed' It works beleive me.

I personally take the approach of a benign bouncer dealing with drunken 18 year olds at 3am. Smilingly indulgent, but immovable in my basic principles (you may whine about being made to go home to bed, you may not hit me in the face with a WKD bottle/Bob The Builder figurine)

thanks all he is 4 and I thought I was on the right path but boy was he making a test of my patience!

Tbh I think that you need a much looser evening routine if your 4yo's behaviour disintergrates this badly

'shouting at us, kicking, name calling, silly noises, taking jammas off as soon as on and then wanting them back on, wanting a particular toothbrush that has long been thrown out'

just by staying up till 8pm.

AP, I take it you haven't ever dealt with a tired 4 year old boy?

Because a looser routine will not diminish tiredness, it will promote it IME.

You did the right thing IMO. My 4 year old DD is like this when she is overtired and the only way to go is calm, patient but determined!