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Original poster

1st morning of potty training and DD has held on all morning!

14 replies

soundbites · 30/12/2008 12:52

Hello

Today is day 1 of potty training DD. She is 22 months which is sooner than I had planned, but two of her friends were successfully potty trained at half term and she has been asking for knickers since then, and also asking to go to the toilet.

BUT, and this is where I need help, she hasn't actually done anything on the potty / toilet yet and sits on for a very short time. And this morning she has HELD ON all morning! DH and I can't believe it. She is in a nappy now for her lunch time sleep and I expect that will be soaked when she gets up, but it does seem that when it has come to the crunch she is afraid of doing anything out of her nappy (we have her in washables, so she does know about feeling wet). I know we've only been at it for a morning, but any ideas welcome!

Thanks!

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tankie · 30/12/2008 12:55

How much has she had to drink?

Original poster

soundbites · 30/12/2008 12:59

We are trying to keep her drinking as much as possible. Probably a little less than normal, but she has still been drinking! I think she is being too clever for us!

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Lionstar · 30/12/2008 13:05

Once they gain control of their bladder muscle then they are totally capable of going 3-4 hours without peeing. My 22 month old has also potty trained (though she only totally cracked it over this Xmas holiday). She now wears pants even when we go out and it amazes me how long she can go - she even knows to ask for the toilet when we go into a coffee shop rather than randomly out in the street! They are clever little things.

P.S. I always went by the theory that they don't pee when sleeping, so mine has taken naps without a nappy for ages - have to get her to the loo quickly on waking though.

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Original poster

soundbites · 30/12/2008 17:00

Thanks Lionstar

What I'm worried about is that she is controlling herself in order not to need to go on the potty / toilet. Her nappy was soaked when she got up from her sleep, so she had saved it all for then! Not sure why the potty phobia. Obviously it has been great to have no accidents (so far) but I'd much rather know she felt she could do a wee if she needs to.

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silverfrog · 30/12/2008 17:07

I am having this issue with dd1. She is 4.4 (has SN) and will hold all day rather than let go.

We started training her about 10 days ago. Mostly, we have max 1 accident a day.

She still has a rest after her lunch (will shortly be stopping as she goes to school for more time) so she is back in a nappy for that as she can't ask to go to the toilet at that point.

the majority of the time, she waits for her lunchtime nappy, then waits for her bedtime nappy.

we have tried keeping her up instead of going for a rest - she usually manages to hold on until about 4.30pm (this form 8am) until she can hold it no longer...

Don't really know what to do next. On the one habd she is clearly ready to train as she can hold on well, and isn't weeing every 5 minutes. On the other, she is obviously wary of weeing on the toilet, and I don't know how to get her over that (other than persevere with it, but that leaves us glued to a toilet each day from 12.30 or so onwards so that we can be near a toilet when she does give in, so i can whisk her on quickly to show her where the wee is supposed to go!

Original poster

soundbites · 30/12/2008 18:45

Thanks Silverfrog

It is good to hear from someone in the same position. Will let you know how tomorrow goes! I certainly didn't expect this.

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silverfrog · 31/12/2008 11:14

How's it going today, soundbites?

Dd1 has had a normal morning - she is drinking ok (perhaps a little more than usual, if anything) and keeps askin to sit on the toilet, but so far nothing.

She does tend to ask more frequently the more close to bursting she gets, so maybe she just doesn't know how to let go?

yesterday I went up to get her form her lunchtime rest, and she hadn't weed in her nappy at all, so maybe she is getting the idea of it all. Can't think why else she would have not weed in her nappy, when previously she was waiting to do just that...

But, I shan't count my chickens and all that - i have a feeling this could be a long road! I don't see any point in stopping now though, as the issues dd1 has, she will probably have even if we put it off for a few months (not knowing what to do, fear of change, etc)

Original poster

soundbites · 31/12/2008 18:18

Hi Silverfrog

Glad your DD has had a dry nappy and is asking for the toilet - I think that is progress and my friend who potty trained her daughter at half term (my DD's 'best friend') said it was 4 days of accidents before it clicked that she ought to do something on the potty ?

Well. we've had two accidents today and a dry lunch-time-sleep nappy, so she appears not to be holding on to the same extent which is a relief for me that maybe it doesn't have such a hold on her. She still absolutely refuses to sit on the potty / toilet (screams in fact when we try to put her there) but when we suggest we put a nappy on she says she wants to wear pants. How do you get through to a(n almost) two year old that potty and pants are inextricably linked? We've agreed we'll persevere until Fri / Sat but will rethink then if nothing appears to have clicked.

I actually looked up 'holding on' on the search facility on here and gleaned a few tips:

run water when they are on the loo to get the sound thing going
pour water into a potty so that they are curious about the sound of liquid in there (we did do that, and it was our one successful moment of potty sitting today)
pour warm water over the child's bits when they are sitting to give an idea of the sensation
have potty trained friends round to demonstrate!
ignore the issue and it will come right on its own (one person said her DD was holding on ? although at least sitting on the potty which we aren't - and then she took her to granny's and asked her to show granny and she sat, did a wee and hasn't looked back ?

Good luck ? I'll check in on you soonish. Happy New Year!

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NellyTheElephant · 03/01/2009 10:04

Hi, I started potty training my Dd (also 22 months) before Christmas. We had an almost identical experience of holding onto wees, literally all day, I was worried she would get a UTI or something. Although she'd happily sit on the potty regulary and read a story or something when she actually needed to do anything she'd refuse to go near it and scream. It got to the point where when she finally needed to wee she'd jump around screaming and crying and refusing to let go. I put her back into nappies for about a week (she'd still hold on for hours and hours and have dry nappies most of the time), until she started weeing happily in the nappy again. Then we tried again. During the 'break' from potty training we carried on talking about it and putting her on potty regularly (with no results). i then went back to it and we had much more success (although it turns out she still has an absolute potty hatred and will only use the loo, which is actually great for me!). I don't really know why it worked second time, I think the little break back in anppies just relaxed her. She was always well aware of what was expected of her.

Two weeks on from resuming training she is pretty well there. Occasional accidents and she still does about half her poos in her night time nappy (although I think this is partly because i am a bit lazy and rarely manage to drag myself out of bed in the morning to catch her before she poos then get a rude awakening with the shout of 'MUMMY......... I done BIG poo in nap nap' - lovely).

What I'm saying is sometimes a short return to nappies is all you need, rather then waiting a few more months.

Original poster

soundbites · 03/01/2009 13:32

Thanks Nelly

We have just had absolute hysteria trying to get her on the toilet. Tiny 'break through' in that a couple of times we have got her to sit on the toilet and read a book, but, like you say, when she needs to go (and this morning we were certain she needed to go as she had held on all morning) she was screaming, arching her back and refusing to sit on it ? in fact she caused such a fuss that a wee started leaking out then she got it under control, went over to the sofa, and did one there a few minutes later.

We've put her down for her nap and had a talk over lunch. We are so close to giving up but are undecided whether this is the best thing to do. I had originally thought of doing it in the summer, but she was asking for pants like her friends wear, and DC2 is due at Easter and it was tempting to get it sorted before then (and since she is in washables there would be a double washing for a while). But that is a selfish reason. I worry that I am stressing her out unnecessarily, but ask her if she wants to go back in nappies and she says no, and then I stop feeling sorry for her and think she is just being plain stubborn!!

Exasperating! Anyone else got similar experience and advice like Nelly?

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Original poster

soundbites · 03/01/2009 13:42

Forgot to say the the toilet + child seat has been so much more successful than the potties that we have put them away. Thought it was less confusing.

xxx

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NellyTheElephant · 03/01/2009 22:29

Soundbites... are you me??? My next DC due at Easter and I also use washables generally (and will be again for next baby although I started using pull up disposables for DD2 a couple of months ago as nappy changes had become impossible as she WOULD NOT stay still).

All I would add is that if you don't get it sorted fairly soon then I'd advise you think about waiting until after the next baby is born. Relapses are very common with potty training on the arrival of a new baby - especially if you train too close to the birth. I have done 2 in nappies (I didn't train DD1 until DD2 was about 3 months old) and it's really not that bad.

Original poster

soundbites · 05/01/2009 09:12

Hi Nelly

How weird is that ? lots of coincidences! When is DD's b/day (ours is 7 Feb). When are you due? I'm 9 April (scan) or 11 April (my dates). We've gone back into nappies today. I've been so undecided, but then admitted to DH that it would be such a relief not to have to cope with the stress of it all today, and he said that that was probably the answer we were looking for. I do feel relief, and will focus on the summer now when the new baby is fully established too.

Thanks for keeping in touch!

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NellyTheElephant · 05/01/2009 18:14

Glad you are feeling happier. Don't feel your effort has been wasted. I tried training DD1 at about this stage and it didn't work out so like you I went back to nappies. I tried again 3 months after DD2 was born once everything had settled down and she was completely clean and dry within about a week - I'm sure it was so easy partly because she was aware of what was expected of her from having gone through our previous attempt.

DD2 - 12 Feb and I'm hoping next baby will be on 9 April!! (find out next week as booking c-section)

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