Toilet training - any advice?

[silverfrog]

Dd1 is 4.4 and has SN (ASD)

We have started toilet training her in the last couple of weeks.

She is doing really well in that she can hold for ages, but I am not sure where to go from here.

She wees first thing in the morning, around lunchtime and after tea (not always, will sometimes wait for night nappy)

If I try to guess when she needs a wee and sit her on the loo (which she will do very happily) we get into a situation where she holds on for ever (record is holding on from 8am until 4.30pm). If I just ignore her all day (in terms of toilet, obviously), she has an accident around 12pm.

So - should I keep sitting her on the loo and hoping that she will "get it"?

Should I not sit her on the loo and mop up accidents and hope that, likewise, something will click?

she hates being wet - the accidents upset her (but not greatly - she just doesn't like the feel of wet clothes/pants)

I can cope with the accidents - after all it's only 2 a day at most, but if we try to catch the wee in the loo at all, we sit around for hours, literally.

Any thoughts?

It seems to me that she is quite happy to sit on the loo but doesn't like to go in it.

This is quite common regarding poos as the child feels they are losing a bit of themselves but I've never heard of this happening for wees as well.

There is a book called "everybody poos" which I've had a few people recommend for getting over the poo problem, If your girl understands the poo and it is the same problem with the wee it might work.

Try asking this over on the special needs board, there are plenty of poeple there with autistic children and they might have had the same problem.

Good luck!

Thanks - have a thread going on SN too

I haven't even started on the poo side yet - she poos first thing, so in her night nappy, and that's it (thank god she's so regular!)

She is perfectly happy to sit on the loo, and even asks to do so quite often (every hour at least)

I wonder whether she just hasn't worked out how to let go? She has obviously mastered holding on, but when we are trying to get her to wee on the loo, she has to be at bursting point before she goes...

She is a bit bothered about weeing on the loo, but i think it's about not knowing what she shold be doing, after so many years of weeing in nappies.

When she does wee (off the toilet) she prefers standing up, so we have put a stool in the bathroom so she can hover if she wants, but we're at a bit of a loss as to what to do next.

would turning the tap on help? might encourage her to relax and let go. Some potty trainnig methods advocate giving lots to drink so they need to go more often so it is harder to hold on, have lnever tried that though so can't comment. Hope it goes well whatever you try.