5 1/2 year old mucking about at bedtime

[JillMLD]

Honestly he is driving me crazy. Ever since he went into a bed 3 years ago he has mcked about at bedtime. I always assumed he would grow out of it but if anything its getting worse.

At the moment he comes out of his room at least 4 times a night, sometimes one after another in the first 10 minutes, but other time it is for up to an hour or two after he has gone to bed.

He goes to bed between 7.30/8 at the same time as or other children who are 4 and 16 months. The 4 year old thankfully just stays in bed and goes to sleep.

Tonight he has come out for the following reasons:

1. I am thirsty (he uses this one every night and we say no drinks after lights out)
2. Where is Daddy
3. I had a bad dream (this was 5 minutes after number 2)
4. My finger is bleeding

Then he was lying crying in bed so after 5 minutes I went in and he said he didnt want to be on his own and didnt want to sleep it is boring. I told him to calm down etc etc

1. I cant calm down in bed Mummy

So up I went again. He has now been crying in bed for 15 minutes.

We try really hard to not pander to him and not to give in. We almost always just shout up the stairs "back to bed please". We dont go up to administer plasters, or more stories, or check out bad dreams.

What do we do ? It is obvioulsy attention seeking but he's had Mummy and Daddy at home all day for 10 days now so other than shopping the other two children off somewhere he can't get any more attention. We put the baby to bed early and then spend some time asa family playing board games with DS and our 4 year old DD.

I went shopping on my own this afternoon and totally feel like he is punishing me for not spending every waking minute with him.

He has a night light so its not pitch black, he has the door shut cos he's a light sleeper and we found even leaving it ajar he was awake every time we went upstairs or anything.

Does anyone have similar issues with a 5+year old.
Or does anyone have any suggestions for how to make bedtime easier for him.
Thanks
Jill

Same problem with my dd1 the same age she shares a room with her 4 year old sister too so disrupts her bed time as well.Also have a 4 month old so know how you feel.
No advice sorry but will watch with interest ,someone is bound to come along with some suggestions soon.

Thanks squatchette.
Chaos isn't it! We areso lucky the other 2 seem to go to bed great thank god. DS has always been the challenging one, we always put it down to first born etc but it must be just HIM, I dont see how everything can be first born syndrome LOL

I've got a nearly 5 year old who can be pretty scroty at bedtime - part of it seems to be that he doesn't want to sleep alone - even though he's had his own room since about 6 weeks . Have you tried putting some music on when he goes to sleep? That seems to help ours a bit, although we do still get him shouting that the music's stopped about once a week...

Mine doesn't want to sleep alone either. Now I was willing to let her sleep in with me once in a while, but I see no reason for her feet to be on my head. So back she went.

Last night, for various reasons, had the 5yo and the 2yo in with me. The 2yo kept working her way up to the top of the bed and hitting her head on the headboard, the 5yo kept trying to squash the 2yo. The 39yo kept trying to get some sleep

So yeah, I'm watching this thread too.

NotReally .... Thought about trying the music. But I know him, he's trouble, he'd be out of bed fiddling with the remote and so on and would definitely be telling me regularly that the music had finished/was too loud/quiet/scary/fast/slow LOL
Think you are right though, he just doesnt want to sleep alone though like you say he's slept on his own since tiny tiny.

I do keep thinking aaaah wouldnt it be lovely to have him in with me every so often but it would end up every night. Give him an inch he takes a mile that boy.

Tonight we wnded up having a ridiculous debate at 9pm about what way to count sheep and what number he should count to and how many times and AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

tonight I said the most ridiculous thing I've said as a parent so far, and I'm not sure I'm ready to share . But does yours also turn on the tears about something else once you've got to your scary-parent-end-of-this-discussion voice?

Oh, and the stereo's out of reach and the remote's out of batteries - I know my boy

Dd used to do this. She is 5.

Now she is under strict instructions that she is only allowed out of bed twice. That can be for anything, but she needs to use them wisely. If she does get up anymore, we just walk her back to bed & put her in & leave her there!

If she gets up more then twice, something is taken away. If she gets up twice or less, she gets a sticker on her calender in the morning & after 2 weeks if all the days are full she gets a [little] treat.

She has music, she choses what she listens to each night & if she messes around that is the first thing to go off.

It is a little harder here as we are on one floor [live in Oz so most houses are one storey] and she isn't far from the lounge. But it works!

ds1 was a nightmare with this. 'I'm thirst' 'I'm too hot' 'I'm too cold' 'I heard a noise'
You have my sympathies

He stopped it when we started letting him read for 10 mins after he went to bed.

Luckily Ds2 was never like this. He has always loved his bed too much and from the age of 3 has taken himself to bed when ever he gets tired. Often he gives us rows for 'making' him stay up if we put a film on on non school nights

My parents used to just tell me to think of nice things and it used to work, i can remember going to bed and thinking of unicorns and bubbles

go on and spill Notreallycutoutforthis

dd1 (5) a list of reasons why she didn't stay in bed last night

I need a drink
I have had bad dream
DD2 has had a bad dream
I've got the nits
My bed has the nits
I'm allergic to my pyjamas
I need cream on
Are you upset mummy? I thought I heard you crying
The dog is in the yard you know?
I lost teddy
I lost my other teddy
DD2 has lost her doidy
I am just checking that you know daddy put wine in the fridge for you

She fell alseep on the sofa in the end while I drank wine.

Funnily enough she only does this at weekends and holidays. Must be that I am a more scary/serious mummy on school nights. Other nights, meh!

@ Mum2OJ - maybe later when I've had a gin . But it was way worse than previous best of 'but darling toothbrush needs to sleep too'

OMG crying with laughter at SheSells' DD and the comment about Daddy putting wine inthe fridge!!!Thank God I am not alone!!

Tonights dramas from DS were

• I didnt get to say goodnight to Daddy because I was using my nightlight to look and see if I had the right lantern and Daddy left too soon

Then I went in as he had his light on.

• Then you forgot to say goodnight to me in my room Mummy
• Then 5 monutes later after I went upstairs to get something "You woke me up Mummy"
• Then as daddy was leaving to go and get milk he came out saying he hadnt said goodnight properly (again)
• Then 5 minutes later came out hysterical "When I waved goodbye to daddy from my window he didnt see that I was crying"
• Then 5 minutes later again - I just worry when you and daddy go out

Aaarrghhh. He was still sobbing his heart out in bed when DH got back in 40 minutes later so DH went in to talk to him. He then stayed in bed but god he knows how to pull the old heartstrings.

We tried the reading in bed thing before, Might give that another try althiugh I do worry its just prolonging the agony.

What sort of music do those have that have music ??

Pretty wide variety of music now - started with classical, and then went for a bit of 'easy listening' - Morcheba variety rather than Dean Martin . At the moment he's got William Orbit, which seems to be going down well, but my sis's kids have the Feeling although it seems to work for them.

We started with music on sis's suggestion as we're in a flat, so it makes a bit of a physical barrier from the ongoing noise that will drift into his room as we carry on having a life without him .

We've also tried the 'it's grown-up time now' thing, but tbh he's not that sympathetic

I would tghreaten to put a gate up at the door or to put them to bed 10 minutes earlier the next night for every time they get out of bed but this means they have to have a concept of time.

i am having a real hard time to put my 5 yers old to bed i start with bath at 6-6 30 and let her play for few min in her bedroom then story time
she keeps asking more and more stories and if i say no starts tuntrum and screem,cry run around and slams the doore today she slams the door on her feet so more crying ect i am so draned have no life as i finish with her at 9 30 or 10 every night plese help with advice or any one you may recomend in the area i live in bromley,kent who specialise on this issue many thanks
ps the zombie picture not that funny it is a real problem i am sure for few out there