at wits end with 17month old hyper toddler - help/shared experiences please

[silvermum]

we've had the most stressful few days with our DS he's having screaming tantrums almost from the moment he gets up (getting him dressed/undressed/changing his nappy has become a nightmare as he wriggles and squeals, going red in the face with fury) is absolutely trashing the house and demands constant attention from 7am to 7pm (we're very lucky in that at least he sleeps well at night.) He won't play on his own for more than five minutes max and if i so much as leave him for a minute he'll be destroying something or putting himself in some sort of danger.(bashing at a window with a wooden block for example)
Obviously we've done what we can to remove things he can smash or hurt himself with but he finds new ways every moment of the day.
When he's not having tantrums he is very happy and lovely but i'm completely frazzled. i knew being a mum would be really hard but this is the hardest age yet and i'm really struggling.i'm dreading tomorrow when it all begins again.
does it sound normal? how long does this phase usually last?

ceebee, the nursery + chilled baby is about as good as it gets!

silver, there is loads of good stuff in there too, would recommend reading it, just scared the living sh*t out of me; thought there would be a tough few months, though it sounds as though ceebee has the ultimate solution. The bigger age gaps are easier for the mother, but less good for the children as they never become true peers and you'll be managing two very different social lives.

I guess its like everything, its difficult, but we'll get through it. After all, we managed the pregnancy and births didn't we?!

Fourlittlestockingfeet - lol at me finding the ultimate solution - I may well have and I realise how fortunate I am but despite this, I am still struggling so what does that say about me??

that you are normal (or very smug and good at hiding it )

hello, just wondered if this type of behaviour is normal in older children, aged 3? Does anyone have any experience of this?

hello, just wondered if this type of behaviour is normal in older children, aged 3? Does anyone have any experience of this?

Reading this thread with interest, My DS2 is 20 months old and quite testing these days, i have noticed some behaviours mentioned above and although i try to give him as much attention as i can it doesn't seem enough at times. Totally agree on snacks etc.. I notice behavioural problems moreso when they are thirsty/hungry rather than just tired - DS1 who has just turned 3 can be quite a handful late afternoon but since giving up his afternoon naps it seems he is often tired at this time but not willing to give in. DS2 who idolises DS1 is trying to give his naps up (about a year too early for me) and gets off the bed shouting DS1 telling him 'look i'm not going to sleep, let's play!' - we then get the most awful behaviour at around 4pm onwards.

On the topic of having other children I have DS3 who is 5 months old, he is a good baby (except for the past few days due to a horrible cold and teething) so i am fortunate, i take turns between DS2 and DS3 sitting on my lap when we do storytime, DS2 feels really important when the baby has to take a backseat and it's his turn on my lap. The 2 rooms downstairs are separated by a gate so DS3 often goes in bouncer/walker/chair while i play with the other two and sometimes just kicks about in the babygym as long as DS2 is playing with me and DS1 and sidetracked from wanting to jump on the baby 'I like to squash him' he says!
Indoor activities we love are: camping, we just get their tent out, fill it with blankets and pillows etc.. DS1 makes a fire using various bits, DS2 and I collect various food from the forest, we discuss the weather in the tent and whether we need wellies to go back out, has the river flooded etc.. etc.. what kind of animals there are outside, we fish ... kills a good hour sometimes or more. We fill the paddling pool up with soft balls and play around in there, build tracks - DS1 will play ALL afternoon with his trains and tracks and often when i'm brave enough we'll go into the kitchen to do stuff in there.

Have written an essay i think! Will be off...