If your DS is a computer addict, how do you manage it?

[OutNumbird]

DS (9) is a terrible computer game addict, given the opportunity he'd play all day long every day (instead he's allowed about 4 hrs/week). He has enough Christmas money to buy a DS Lite, but I'm quite certain that he'll go overboard with that, too!!

If we let him get the DS Lite (big IF) we would probably just call it another form of screen/'puter time, and he'd have to use it within his existing quota. What management regime anyone else might have for these things?

Alternatively, can you help me talk him out of wanting it? I can't believe the games are better than what he can already play on miniclip, etc.

No screens on a school night

Weekends/school holidays are limited.

DS's are in my office during the week so I know they aren't on them

That's for all 4 children

Turn it off/take it away when you think he has had enough? Explain that this will happen if he buys the new game?

I used to be the computer police but I'm more pragmatic (been beaten into submission) now.
I used to use a little digital kitchen timer. Set it with the days allowance of computer or DS time and they then control when they use it. Worked a treat for years and my two boys never seemed to mind and didn't cheat.
Alas it gets harder as they get older not least as DH is as bad as the children. He's a mini clip addict as well.
I should change my name to Mum1 Mum! I've got top score on "Shoot a penguin"

"get off and go out with your friends"

Custardo, I'm not ready for DS to go off playing on his own and calling around at friend's house, just yet (I know for a fact that someone around here would report me to SS if I did).

I'm not sure if we ever have tried a "Get off this instant" -- then turn it off if they don't get off that instant, kind of approach. I know if we tried if now DS would have a huge tantrum (tears, anger, trashing room kind of thing). I don't get off puter the instant I'm called somewhere else, either, it feels a bit rude to be that insistent. DH would certainly like DS to get off the second DH asks, though.

We did have a kitchen timer, It sort of worked until DS threw and broke it in a strop (can't remember what strop was about, now).

someone would report you for your child calling for a friend ? i take it the friends must live across busy roads and such.

The irony of asking about computer addiction on MN

I would stick with the timer, go buy a new one.

There's a really interesting (and wideranging) discussion about video games and whether or not they are a good thing here and here

We have no rationing of screen time in our house. IME, children go through a glut of screen time (especially if it has previously been limited by parents) and then settle themselves into using the computer a lot some days, a little some days, not at all some days.

It's hard to see how a child only allowed 4 hours of computer time a week could be classed as "obsessed", to be honest. Frustrated at not getting as much computer time as they'd like, sure, but "obsessed"???

I also think it's worth parents examining just what it is about their children using computers that they don't like.

I think because 4 hours a week is not long enough.
Let him work it out himself.

God no rationing at all. I just turn it off when it gets on my tits.

Shock Horror, I give mine free reign over games consoles - handheld and static + computer access and have no parental controls on any pc

and it isn't a problem.

Its the mothers that you need to worry about, Animal Crossing is SO addictive :-)

The more fuss you make about the forbidden fruit they more they want to take a bite.

Agree with cracker. Have a random "volcano style of parenting" system

"It goes off when I go off"

It works

and AG - just spotted on another thread you too are playing Animal Crossing ...

SEE! QED

I don't want to write an essay, but we used to (until about 10 months ago, I guess) let DS have as much time as he wanted. Over the years he chose to play all day, everyday, throwing mega strops (getting worse over time) if made to stop. He just doesn't self-limit! First thing in the morning he wants on the 'puter and will play as long as he can. Say we want to go out for the day, DS needs to be heavily reminded and warned about it first, or he has a mega-strop about having to delay his 'puter time until we get back.

I think the strops and the amount of time that DS spends of his life on the puter are about manageable under the current system, but DH is angry that DS is at all stroppy about getting off when told to (and DS is less stroppy nowadays than he used to be, when he had unlimited time) -- and DH and I both despair of the way DS prioritises 'puter time over anything else. BTW, DS always gets more than 4 hrs/week, but 4 hrs is his minimum entitlement: he gets lots more because I don't time exactly, and he ends up playing with DS2 (DS2's 4 hrs/week) and DS sometimes plays with DH or friends.