pick-and-mix parenting.... A little bit of baby whisperer, a bit of 'happiest baby' and a bit of 'continuum'

[nickymorris]

Since I've had DS (now 4.5 months) I've read A LOT of books and now find myself slightly overloaded with tips and techniques.

So during the day I feed as per the baby whisperer - i.e. straight after he wakes up. He stays awake 2 hours at the moment then I put him to sleep with a ssshush and rock/jiggle from 'happiest baby'. During the day I try to carry him while he's awake but put him in his cot while he sleeps (unless we're out when he sleeps in the sling or the pushchair which i only use if we're going out at nap time) and then in the night when he wakes up from his long sleep - anywhere between 10.30 and 1.30 these days he comes into bed with us and we co-sleep until morning which stops me from being a grumpy monster.

I was just wondering if anyone thought that this 'pick-and mix' approach was maybe not ideal? whether I should go 'whole hog' for the babywearing/co-sleeping? Or is he going to be getting some benefits anyway? Or is he likely to get confused and think i'm inconsistent....?

My main reason for putting him down to sleep is that he's heavy (18lb 6oz 10 days ago) and I seem to have lots of things I want to do that require bending down which doesn't seem to work in the sling.

I think you have the right idea.

There are good tips in parenting books, but you need to adapt them to your own baby's needs and your own life.

Sounds like you are doing fine.

Fwiw, I did a mix of Baby Whisperer and the dreaded GF. These fitted ds - god knows what might fit potential no.2!

Well, IMO the reason the 'tips and techniques' work is because they are based on what people have been doing for years... ie instinct.

I love the Happiest Baby book, discovered it from library this time round and mainly love it cos it reminds me what we know already. But dh hasn't read one bok (I have tried ) and instinctively does the jiggle, sshing etc.

I believe attachment is very very important (that's the only slight issue I would have with BW book - though lots of what she says makes sense) and co-sleep, hold ds a lot of the day, feed on demand etc. But I do put - another v heavy - ds down if I can (happily I think is fine - although occasionally it is not so happily, eg when dd calls 'wipe my bum' after I have just got him to sleep ). Oh, but a baby asleep on you is the loveliest if you don't have anything else to do! Your arrangement sounds like it works great for you and your family.

I think it is the general approach, philosophy and attitude of responding, carrying, cuddling, listening, feeling, loving your child that is important. Not which techniques you follow.

cool - was just checking that the work I'm putting in carrying him when he's awake wasn't being negated by then putting him down to sleep.

Thanks folks.

and umlellala totally agree that having my DS sleep on me is fab - if only the house cleaned itself....

sounds ideal really. i think we all do a bit of 'pick and mix' parenting. it makes sense to use whatever fits in with your life and your baby. for example, my ds was happy to sleep all night long in his cot from being very very young yet had to be cuddled/ rocked to sleep for naps. i had to wear him in the day because he wouldn't be put down but that wasn't my choice, just the way he was! do whatever feels right and it sounds like your ds is getting everything he needs to be a very happy secure little boy.

Sounds perfect. What's wrong with putting him down to sleep? Tucked up safe and warm, knowing that you will come when he calls, who could possibly find any problem with that? And at some point he might enjoy just lying on the floor and kicking too, and seeing what he can do with his body and hands.