Please help i'm having a major wobble!

[mamakim]

I have a 17 month old ds and i'm 20 weeks pregnant with a dd. The pregnancy was planned but in the last few days i've began to really wonder if i want the baby. I feel like i've just got 'myself' back and my relationship with dh has just got back to how it was. I feel like when this baby is born i won't cope with 2 of them, i won't ever get i minute to myself and ds will probably suffer too. Oh and marriage is bound to suffer for at least a year. Ahhh i feel like i've done the wrong thing. Maybe it's just hormones or something. I can't believe i feel like this. I'm sorry i sound so selfish, i'm not usually like this. I know so many people would kill to have children.

Im sorry I don't have any answers, but I didn't want you to go unanswered- everyone seems to be busy getting all huffy on other threads! I think you are bound to feel a bit daunted, but just remember that people have been popping out the varmints for years and years and mostly come out the other side

Have you talked to your DH about how you feel? If you can try and approach the whole thing with a sense of humour as often as possible, you will both be ok, honestly.

((hug)) for you though my love, you really can do it, but it's ok to feel a bit freaked out some days x x

I know I felt like that because I had a wide gap. 4 yrs ago I was prgnant with #2 and feeling the same as you.

THe first 6 months were hard, but you adjust and you love the actual child, rather than grappling with the concept of two children iyswim!

I probably found it harder than most tbh, but now my 3 yr old strides in to creche without a backward glance and I wonder how the time flew.

Not a very helpful post, but I just wanted to let you know that I don't think its' unusual to feel this at all.

Completely agree. Very sensible of you to realise it will be quite hard! We had a little boy when our daughter was 8 years old and one night my DH looked at me and said. " I love him to pieces and all that, but what the f* have we done!" Talk to DH, accept it will be hard, but also accept that it will be wonderful and all ok in the end. x

I'm 26 weeks and daunted by the prospect of two too. DS will be 2.3 when dd is born and just last night I was having a good old grump/ cry about how hard it was going to be. I think it is perfectly normal to feel like this - after all this time round you know how hard it is to have a newborn.

However, on the plus side lots of things will be a lot easier (that's what I'm hoping anyway). And at the very least there won't be the huge shock and strain of being suddenly responsible for a tiny dependent new life with no instruction manual!

I do know what you mean about getting you back and your relationship back as I have been the same but they did come back first time round and I'm sure they will again. xxx

I think that's entirely normal in anyone pregnant with a second child.

It's normal with every pregnancy and child, even your 3rd or 4th.

Had fertility treatment for 5 years, then when finally pregnant and flopping into bed one night I thought 'OH SHIT what have I done?!'
So perfectly understandable with your 2nd.
My mil was convinced she would be unable to handle 2 kids - and she's the most capable woman I've ever met!