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Ds1 potty trained but pooing in pants - now witholding poos and in pain :-( - what can I do?

4 replies

Miaou · 19/12/2008 13:22

There are soooo many threads on this I know, but having read through them there are lots of people in the same position but no advice on what to do. So I'm asking again, sorry!

Ds1 potty trained in October at 3.5, but although reliable wee-wise he has never yet managed a poo on the toilet. At first he was just doing them in his pants, but this last few days he has been witholding them - from pooing most days he now hasn't done one for three days and is periodically in a lot of pain as a result. I've always been laid back about potty training and the pooing, never made an issue of him doing it in his pants on the basis that he'll do it in the loo when ready - but this witholding is obviously causing physical problems now! I'm not sure whether to go to the doctor because I think the only thing they will do is prescribe laxatives, which I think may exacerbate the problem (if he has diarrhoea in his trousers he will be distraught I know).

I think he has started witholding because pooing distresses him and he hates being dirty, but he also can't relax enough to poo on the loo. I can't seem to talk him into trying and don't want to force him to sit on the loo in case he is put off it entirely. Have tried reading books on the loo but no go.

Any advice? Particularly if you have had a witholder, what did you do to resolve it?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Acinonyx · 19/12/2008 15:53

I have a witholder. She is 3.5 and almost wee trained. She has pooed twice in a potty but generally holds onto it. She has a pullup at night and usually poos at bedtime or in her sleep (and I change it - I can smell it from downstairs!). Does he wear pull ups at night? I don't like dd to hold it too long so I perfer that she does it in her pull up while we are still training - even then she often goes a couple of days.

mumto3boys · 19/12/2008 19:58

One of my twins (just turned 4) is doing this. Has been going on for about 18 months now!

For their birthday we got them a v smile thingy that plugs into the tv.

The problem with ds is he gets so desperate for a poo, that he actually starts wetting himself as I think if he goes for a wee he will poo himself!

So anyway, only boys with clean and dry pants are allowed to play v smile in the evening.

Their birthday was just over a month ago. For the first week we had some good days, some bad. Then we have just amazingly had 2 weeks solid of being clean and dry and volunraily going for a poo. Which is amazing.

Now on weds I knew he was holding in a poo. Also we pants. Mangaed to persuade to use the toilet.

Yesterday, went to the toilet himself.

Today - wet and dirty pants again

But I feel as though we are getting there. We had tried stickers, those go gos crazy bone things (little toys), everything. But am hoping the v smile is the one for us.

Also I have stopped going on about it. I remind him that only clean and dry boys get v smile. If he isn't, I say sorry no v smile today.

I am just hoping we can turn it back around over the next few days.

For mine it used to be a pain problem, he had constipation due to undiagnosed food allergies. Then he was scared to go. Now I think it is part laziness and also part control. I think at the moment he is testing to see if he will still get v smile!

lilymolly · 19/12/2008 21:03

see this thread which will give you some definite advice

Please read my posts in particular and you will see that we have eventually cracked the problem after much heartache

Good luck

HTH

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Miaou · 19/12/2008 23:32

thank you all. Lilymolly, will read that thread in detail tomorrow

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