Decided to just let it all go for now and not actively potty train, is this best?

[Gemzooks]

DS is 2.3. He's very bright, physically average development, average age for walking, doing different tasks etc.

He has a potty, likes going for wees on it but won't poo on it. He gets stickers on the wall for wees and has nicer stickers 'ready'for poos but doesn't want them enough to do it.

He can pull his own trousers up and down but wears a vest and nappy, so has to be helped.

He watches us on the loo with great interest and commentary.

However, he clearly doesn't think 'I need a wee/poo, so I should go to the loo', it's more like a game.

My mum says I should just put him in pants, but I don't want to do anything drastic. I got some nice colourful pants for him and he does wear them a bit, but again just as a game. I also kept encouraging him to poo in the potty and it's just led to him hiding the fact he's done a poo, whereas he used to announce it proudly.

DC2 is due end of March and it would be nice if he was at least a bit potty trained by then; is that unrealistic?

The main thing is that I don't want to give him a complex or whatever, should I drop the whole subject, try pull ups and stop dressing him in vests with pop ups to give him more autonomy, or should I carry on encouraging? Any advice much appreciated!

I would really like him to

sorry about end sentence I forgot to delete

I would either do it wholeheartedly, or not at all. I think drastic is the only way, tbh - they have to learn a whole new way of doing things. Gradually is going to be confusing.

I also think it will be more stressful for both of you if you have this notional deadline to do it by. The general wisdom is to avoid potty training 3 months either side of a major life event - like arrival of a sibling. You should probably expect some regression around that point if you do go ahead just now.

but how can you do it drastically without upsetting them? E.g. I could just put him in pants, but then what, I mean he would just poo in his clothes or everywhere when we're out, we spend a lot of time outside playing etc. And he goes to nursery 3 days a week..

Well the nursery has to be an active partner in this
I did the cod patented technique of letting ds run round trouserless for 10 days, and taking him to the loo every 20 mins. Easier when the weather's warmer, natch. Rewards for pees in potty. With ds we always got advance warning of a poo - lucky me he would come and put his arms round me when he wanted to do one, so it was easy to plonk him on the potty. Massive incentivisation [duplo fire engine after 2 weeks of clean pants] cracked it for us

With ds I did it the gentle way and used pull up nappies (for the ease of getting them down when he needs the toilet) and normal vests without poppers. I then took him to the toilet regularly or when I could see by his body language that he needed to go (especially when he neede to poo). Once he got to the stage of asking for the toilet while wearing the pull up (took a few weeks) then I put him into pants. He has been wearing pants for a few weeks now and will tell me when he needs to poo/pee and can hold it in till we can get to a toilet e.g. when in the supermarket, when we get dd from school, etc. He is nearly 2.3years and we started with the pull ups just before he turned 2. You dont have to go straight to pants and by my experience of potty training two children pull ups are a useful in between stage when they are at the younger age of starting (i.e. closer to the age of 2 than 3)

p.s. ds never used the potty for pooing in and only peed in it standing up with me holding it in front of him. He does all his poos/pees in the big toilet - he doesnt have a training seat on it and can support himself by having his legs open wide and holding onto the front of the seat. It does mean you have to take shoes, trousers and pants off when he needs the toilet which can be a PITA when you are shopping but at least he isnt peeing himself.

we tried when in august when dd was 2.4 and i had a bit of time off-and she just wasn't ready, actually hated the whole idea.
she managed a couple of poos on the loo under duress but wouldn't say when she needed the loo etc, and if she was outside with no nappy on would just wee herself

So we dropped the whole idea. I was actually all set to leave it til xmas but my CM couple of months ago unilaterally decided to start putting her on the potty after naps or meals. Dd wasn't keen at first but did actually start co-operating. Then I picked this up and started at home-fairly low key at first (naked lower half for wandering around at home, normal nappy or pull-up for going out) then by the next weekend basically got her into pants. We have had a had a few accidents but not that many-it's been pretty stress-free.

Basically because she was ready to do it I think...so maybe your ds is a little young at the moment? give it a month or two? and then maybe test things out by trying what my CM did and encouraging him to use the potty when you know he is likely to need a wee, and take it from there?

Yes, it is best! He is 2.3 that is rather young imo. Doing it later is much easier, quicker and less stressful for both parent and child IME.

Potty training is not another milestone that you have to compare with your friends, it is learning to poo and wee on a toilet. They almost all get it in the end and the less pressure to get there the better all round!

I completely agree with Birdy. My DS started showing interest in potty training when he was 22 months but was so excited about it that he kept running between bathrooms and then didn't make it. I then waited until he was almost three and there was no actual training required at all. One day he just said 'I don't need nappies any more and he just got on the big toilet and went (both wee and poo). He has never used a potty. He only had maybe one accident on the first day and that was it. No stress, no methods - just not trying to do it too early as the answer.

Exactly how it went with mine BSM, nice, simple and easy! (lets face it there are plenty of things which cause stress that we cannot avoid no matter how hard we try!)

We waited till dd was able to talk clearly, say she needed a wee, and could she go to the toilet. She pretty much just took herself off. She was just under 3 and trained in a weekend with literally no stress at all. No accidents, even when out, as she was mature, had bladder control and could say what she needed.

Follow your instincts and ignore his age. They are all so so diferent. My 1st rule of parenting in this life I lead - don't find the work/stress, it will find you!!