How did you know when your child was ready for pre-school?

[Tapster]

DD will be 2 years and 2 months in January. She is signed up to start pre-school which takes children from aged 2 in January. I'm really nervous about sending her. It is only 3 mornings a week for 3 hours each time. She has never been left with strangers only family - no childminders or nursery. I'm a SAHM with no.2 due mid March (probably c-section). I'm not having an easy pregnancy - I still have bad morning sickness plus DD no longer naps most afternoons and I'm knackered. I have little family help. I feel like I'm sending her for my convenience, although worried about her diet of cbeebies at the moment when I'm too tired in the afternoons.

DD has got very clingy recently but she tends to be confident but quiet and very gentle. When I saw a little boy who is starting at the same nursery this morning pushing her at a class we went to I thought is she too young?

How do you know your child is ready?
DD hasn't got that many peer friends as most of my friends have older children. But is socialisation over emphasised nowadays? I didn't go to childcare before I started school at 4.

I think if the pre-school is set up for 2 year olds, your dd is likely to be fine. As you haven't left her before, it's likely that she'll be upset for a bit, but the staff will manage her. My pre-school take digital photos to prove to the parents that the children have been enjoying it, as they often cry when left, and again when mum turns up!

If she starts in Jan, she'll be well settled in bfore teh baby arrives, although may well regress a bit.

hiya tapster. I sent ds1 to pre-school in the January just before he turned 3 (which was in the feb)
he was ok about going each morning at first but never seemed particularly happy about it. after a while he sdaid he didn't want to go any more and that he didn't like it.
I dunno, he just didn't seem happy there. mother's instinct or something. he never said anything specifically, but afaik he never really interacted much with the other kids and he just seemed to potter about by himself and he didn't really seem to be getting much out of it.

eventually we took him out.
then, over that summer he had a BIG change, personality-wise. He started going up to kids in the park and "making friends" and playing with them, he started talking about his nursery again and saying he would like to go there one day, he just seemed a lot more social. iyswim?

so we started him at a different one in August and he has been absolutely fine, he LOVES it there.
so, for us it was very much a developmental step in terms of how he could cope with the other children and how much he would enjoy being there.
you can't push "socialisation" onto children if they aren't ready to be sociable. does that make sense?

I would also say get settled in nursery before the baby is born

I decided to put my 19 month old DS into nursery two mornings a week in September. I'm afraid to admit that I did it purely and selfishly so that I could have some time to myself. I am a SAHM and have little help from friends/relatives.

I think that the idea of "socialisation" can be overrated. However, as DS doesn't have any cousins etc I thought it would be beneficial for him. It was really tough at first because except for short periods alone with his grandparents he'd never been apart from me. This meant that each morning he cried at the door of the nursery. I wondered what on earth I'd done - it seemed like a small zoo where parents abandoned their offspring!

DS still has mornings when he cries but I'm assured that as soon as I'm gone he settles down and gets involved in the activities.

I do believe i've made the right decision as people have commented that he seems much more eager to get involved at baby/toddler groups which he didn't before.

I think with a second baby on the way getting DD into some care would be excellent for you esp as you have a c-section on the cards. It will probably be difficult for you emotionally at first. Of course at the end of the day it's a personal choice.

Tapster - SNAP! my dd will also be starting a playgroup for 2 year olds in Jan.

She was 2 in July and I have been dithering for 6 months on this... She seems so young! What decided me was when I popped in for a chat to see whether there were any spaces. She basically ran off and got stuck in!

I'm not sure about all this socialisation stuff either - but I do remember loving playschool as a child, and ds used to love this playgroup when he went so I'm hopinh she will too and that this will be the first little step towards her being more independent.

I don't think convenience is the right word for your situation btw - ds went when dd was brand new and as well as giving me some quality time with the baby, it meant he had a bit of space?

final comment is that I only have to sign up for half a term at a time - if it's a total disaster, she'll leave in feb and we can just hold off until school at 4....

Thanks for your responses (its Tapster in another guise). I've decided to try her out in pre-school in January and I must remember to only pay for half a term in case she hates it. DD hardly ever cries, I couldn't leave her if she cried each morning to be honest. If she doesn't like it I will wait until September when she can start at a Montessori nursery.