Sandpit time is nearly upon us, and I want to know how you all stand on this very important issue:
When do you decide that your child's sand castle or dug out hole is common property to be added to or destroyed by other children?
I ask this because a while ago I was at a sandpit and found myself in unspoken disagreement with another mother.
He son, (4 or 5 years) had dug a large hole. My sons and I arrived when the digging was in its final stages and the digger was sitting proudly in his large creation. Several other children, including my youngest son wanted to join him or help dig. The eager scuffling caused sand to cascade back into the hole undoing some of the digger's work. However, the digger got some playmates. He didn't seem too upset, but I couldn't judge this too well since I was not that near. His mother said in a loud voice to the children, looking appealingly at the parents 'please leave the hole alone, my son worked really hard to dig it, please don't destroy it' She then stood guard nearby.
The children ignored her somewhat, but the parents, me included, moved their children away once or twice. They ran straight back in, needless to say, so I resorted to keeping close watch and telling my son to be careful if he caused accidental damage and telling him off if he tried to throw the odd handful of sand back into the hole.
I was in agreement with the mother up to a point, because the digger was still in the hole, and so it was 'his'. Still, he didn't seem to object too much to his guests.
He then started playing somewhere else in the sandpit, and still the mother stood guard and said her piece every now and again if a child played in the hole. At this point I began to feel irritated with her and happened to catch the eye of another parent who seemed to feel the same. I know the mother realised we were not taking her admonishments as seriously as she wanted. I think she expected us to keep our children away from the hole as long as her son was still in the sandpit, nevermind that he had moved onto other things.
My view is that the sandpit is common property and as long as the children are not having an all out battle, you leave them to work things out for themselves. If that means a destroyed hole or sandcastle (once the digger has left it) well that's life - and sand - for you.
Over to the wise souls at mumsnet...