Do you appologie or explain after you shout? (hypothetically of course - I know none of us would ever actually shout at our children, heaven forfend)

[BroccoliSpears]

I bellowed like a fishwife earlier this evening.

Me: Come on everyone! Wash hands and sit up. Supper's on the table.
Dd: Ewww... I don't like supper. I don't want mushrooms. Mushrooms are disgusting. Daddy I want to put them on your plate. Uhhhhhhhhh.... I don't want them...
Me: WELL YOU'D BETTER JUST GO TO BED THEN IF YOU DON'T WANT SUPPER. .

And then everyone was really well behaved and pleasant for the rest of the evening (dh included!) Dd chatted sweetly. Dh did the washing up. Ds, well, he put spaghetti on his head but he's only 7 months. I had a lovely evening, and everyone went to bed cheerfully.

Should I have explained why I was cross? Or appologised for shouting? I mean, it worked really well, but I can't help wondering if it's not terribly positive or constructive to roar furiously and then never refer to it again.

What do you do?

Just seen post by Shesells. She sums up exactly what I think.

I often apologise for shouting, if I've really bellowed, or it was because I'm tired and grumpy and getting things out of proportion. Always try to explain why I was cross as well.

Hope ds gets the message that I don't want to be horrid but sometimes just get frustrated. And that it's good to say sorry when you've upset someone, adults as much as children.

When he's really dragging his feet and we need to get going, or he's ignoring me when I tell him to do something, I sometimes ask him: 'Do you want Mummy to shout?' Doesn't always work, though.

I LOVE this thread HOORAH for all the shouty mummies

I do all the things listed above, but always feel that none of my RL friends do.

And I always have my fingers crossed that my friends next door are out. I never hear them shout

Every morning I shout at them, but only because I can say "clean your teeth please" quietly 50 times and they only respond to "CLEAN YOUR TEETH NOW!!!".
I always apologise in the car on the way to school and they just roll their eyes at me and say "We know, your sorry!!"

I'm a shouter but it has got better recently. I apologise if my shouting is out of proportion to the act though. I wish I was more like dh who never ever shouts. He bellowed at the boys recently and you should have seen their faces, complete shock! until cheeky ds2 turned round and said "don't you dare turn into mummy! "

at Ingles. I used to have the same approach to my parents only it was about mornings. My mother is NOT a morning person so we depended on Dad to be fully awake and ready to play. If he was ever grumpy we used to tease him saying 'that's Mummy's job, you can be grumpy later'!

I shouted at DS (15 mo) the other day - I had removed him from the Xmas tree about 15 times and said "no" to touching it about 100 times already but when my back was turned for a second I heard a smash and ds was standing there next to the remains of a bauble that was in the door wreaths for our wedding (Xmas wedding). I thought it was out of his reach but clearly not.

I shouted partly because I was upset and partly because I was worried he was about to put his bare feet on top of a load of incredibly sharp slivers of glass. I cleaned it up by which time I had calmed down and yes, I did apologise.

We had extra long cuddles before bedtime where i took the opportunity to apologise again and tell him how much I loved him.

Still feel guilty.

I try to apologise every time! But I also warn them 'Mummy' s tired and CROSS this morning so you'd better all be ready'.

I think it's good practice to show a) you're human and b) we all need to apologise sometimes.

It depends on the the reasons for shouting. ie if I shout because I'm feeling stressed and something minor they did was the last straw, then I do apoogise. If it was because they were being horrible then no I don't. I expect them to apologise in fact.

I'm finding myself getting frustrated with 18mo dd, she's into destroying everything. I don't think I shout, but I do raise my voice to her if she's done something naughty. Her thing to do at the minute is destroy all of my dvds.

Suffice to say patience is wearing thin here, if I do get angry with her I do feel guilty and say sorry and give her a cuddle.