Untitled

[MarkTheHeraldAngelsStretch]

Bit of background:

Ex-DP and I separated when dd was 2- she is now 6. He went back to live in Northern Ireland after we separated and now lives there with his mum and dad.

DD has been going over to stay with him on occasions since. She is due to go over this Christmas as we take it in turns. The flights have been booked and they are all really looking forward to having her.

However, DD is saying she doesn't want to go. She is getting quite stressed about it. This morning she was crying and kicking her bedroom door- behaviour which is totally out of character for her.

I have texted her Dad and asked him to call her which he hasn't- not unusual for him.

I don't know what to do for the best.

I think if she doesn't want to go, she should not be made to go. Of course, if she can talk to her dad, he may be able to reassure her, and tell her what they have planned whilst she is over there, in which case she may then start to fancy going again.

Seeing as christmas is nearly here, think you are just going to have to phone him (instead of waiting for him to call you) because of she is worried about going, the sooner it is sorted the better for everyone.

I forgot the bloody title.

Thanks for the reply- yes I suppose I should ring him, it just really pisses me off that he doesn't bother to call her even when I text him and ask.

His family will all be devastated if she doesn't go.

Can you stay too? Are you flying over with her and then going home again?

My dd has just turned 6 and her dad and I split before she was born. He comes and stays with us (he lives in England, Im in NI) a few times a year, and dd and I go there and visit him and his family at easter and in the summer. She gets v excited about seeing him but when I talked to her about visting him on her own, she freaked. Saying that, shes never been on her own with him for more than a 3 hours at a time!

Is she giving yyou a reason why she doesn't want to go? Could it be that she's worried FC won't deliver presents to the correct house or something similar like that?

No he flies over and collects her and flies back with her.

She has done it probably 5 or 6 times now. We have taken her over before and stayed in Dublin and brought her home again but it's not really suitable for me to go and stay there IYKWIM.

I think things may be complicated by the fact my DC2 is due in 8 weeks and she is saying she doesn't want to leave me. She isn't normally over affectionate but today she has hardly left my lap.

I agree with Jewelsandgems. Ring him and explain. Hopefully after speaking to him she will be looking forward to seeing him. He is out of order not ringing you when you ask.
If she doesnt change her mind about going she shouldnt be made to go. She is only 6 and probably nervous about not being with you over xmas.

She said she doesn't want to go that far away, she doesn't want to leave me, she doesn't want to miss my birthday (which is while she's away) and she doesn't want to be around loads of people.

I think she means his family as they understandably get very excited about her going over and she tends to do the rounds of all the family members.

You have to ring and explain. Hopefully he will understand if she doesnt go. Could he fly over to see her, see how she is and then decide whether to send her or not? If she doesnt want to go could he stay somewhere for a night or 2 then he can spend time with her and then fly home by himself for xmas with his family?

I'm afraid that would be far too much to expect from him.

He's not working at the moment and he says the reason he doesn't ring is because he doesn't have any credit. I have paid for his and her flights this Christmas (although that won't affect my decision at all).

I'm going to ring the useless twunt now and discuss it with him.

Thanks for all your advice