At the end of my tether, out of control 21mo, help me please.............

[Sushipaws]

She's suddenly become a mennace to society. The poor cat is abussed. Tantrums at least 4 times a day. Won't be helped to eat, but refuses to eat herself, screams for pudding.

The other day we were round at a friends house and she walked past a 8mo, grabbed her hair and kept walking. Today at a soft play place she didn't want a little girl to come up the steps she was on so she hit her in the face. She won't hold my hand, but won't walk close to me. If I tell her not to do something she does it out of spite and often end's up hurting herself.

I tell her no firmly but she won't listen or screams at me.

DH thinks we should buy a parenting book!

Tell me it gets better! Tell me this is a short phase..........

It DOES get better. Welcome to the Terrible Twos (followed by the Torturous Threes and the Frightful Fours).

Be firm - tell her NO when that needs saying and ignore any overblown response.

If you are going to buy a parenting book then Toddler Taming by Christopher Green comes to mind but I bet he's been surpassed by someone else since DS was a toddler. Very readable though.

If she won't hold your hand or walk close to you then put her in the buggy.

Try giong out for a walk taking the buggy with you, letting her walk at first, explain beforehand that if she doesn't hold your hand she will be in the buggy. Give her a warning then if shes carries on you can out her straight in the buggy.

You can put her straight in the buggy not out her!!

Thanks JollyPirate, I know it'll pass but it's good to hear it from someone else.

Thanks also FanFox, sound advice and do it regularly. She has a fit if I put her in the buggy (she headbutts the sides and everything) so I let her walk and hold either the buggy or my hand. This does work for about 2 mins then she's off. I tell her she's to go in the buggy because she wouldn't hold hand/buggy and she has a huge tantrum. I know it takes time so I'll keep trying.

Reins. Some people don't like them but if she won't go in the buggy and won't hold hands then they are vital I would think.

Got reins, used to love them but now she just sits down on the ground and glowers at me.

just remeber who is in charge
and don''t sweat the small stuff!

Toddler Taming is a really good book, but the best bit of advice I could give is that when your DD is behaving well give her lots of over the top enthusiastic praise- "Oh DD you're holding Mummy's hand so nicely, you're such a good girl,aren't we having a lovely walk, etc" and when she misbehaves be more mono-syllabic with her and try to ignore the tantrumming (as long as she's contained and safe).
She will soon realise that 'good' behaviour gets more attention, give it a week or two and you will notice some difference. She still will tantrum, but there shouldn't be quite so many.
Good Luck

I can't say much more than everybody else, but we had the buggy problem too (DD was a runnner for some months). I started using a wrist strap in place of reins (I was prepared to go as far as reins but didn't need to). DD grew out of it, and so will yours.

She still has tantrums about other things though, but suddenly improved on the road and walks when she was about 2.2. Is there anywhere you can take your DD where she can run off, run around etc outside and not be in danger? I found that long (tiring) country walks helped.

We use a wrist strap too - it is brilliant and so much easier to put on than reins.