Panic!How to fill a day???need help asap!

[Clarabumps]

Hello all!
This is my third week of maternity leave(ds 2 expected in jan) and this is the first time I have been a stay at home mum since ds1 was 6 months old. He is now 17 months and I feel like I'm getting to know my son all over again. he's at a totally different developmental stage to what he was went he was first introduced to nursery and I am beginning to realise that I have had pretty easy run of it so far. I find myself stuggling to fill my day and consequently Ds is becoming bored and acting up. I think he can sense when I am stressed. He is testing the boundaries by being naughty and I am trying to discipline him (which is a bit of a hit or a miss to be honest) but i feel like such a failure. I'm ashamed to admit it but i breathe a sigh of relief when he is in his bed.
I suffered from PND with ds1 and i can feel those feelings creeping back and DS2 isnt even here yet.
I'm trying to remain positive however everytime i think of the baby coming I could burst into tears and i honestly dont know how on earth i'm going to cope with two under two!!
I know i'm not the first and i certainly wont be the last and my partner reassures me that evrything will be okay and i'll manage but he'll be working all day.
I was wondering if there was anyone out these in a similar situation. how did you cope?
am i better to be really organised and divide my day into little activities so my son doesn't get bored? does it get easier?I just feel like a bit of a failure just now and would like some practical advice on how to make the day less dull!
Sorry for the long post!!
xx

Involve him in housework. Ds is in awe of the hoover and loves to "sweep" with a dry mop or something as I sweep and follow me round with his own duster.

Go out. I find ds starts to get bored by 10 if we have not yet gone out so plan your day according to when he gets bored so you are heading out to do the shopping etc when he is fed up of being inside.

Simple trips to the swings or something are pretty easy. Or if you have the energy swimming etc. Baking is great too, bake sitting at the table instead of standing at the worktops and let him stir. Then once the biscuits are cooked you can fill an hour decorating them.

I find I need an organised thing like toddler group, story time at the library etc every other day and doing the shopping or a playdate occupies the other days.

To be honest though I'm 39 weeks with dc2 and struggling too as it is much harder when pg to get up and go out for a walk or something. Winter in general is harder too, during the summer I could go flop on the grass in the botanic gardens and ds would run riot for the afternoon!

Hey Clara.
It is hugely challenging getting to grips with spending a whole day with your child when you've been at work and aren't used to it. The fact that you are in late pregnancy and hence probably knackered won't be helping either! Don't worry, it is all normal and does not mean you're not a fab mum.

I had a similar age gap between my 2 and hence had to develop a routine to entertain a dd who was used to full-time nursery. I found that some routine is the key. Just thinking through what activities you're going to do that day in advance means that you have something to move on to when the child is bored with the last one. It doesn't have to be detailed. However, I would basically make sure that every day we got out of the house once (even if just to the corner shop) and did one art or messy activity - eg finger painting if you're feeling unusually energetic and up for the clearing up, sticking stickers if you're not! Water play is good too at that age. I had an expedition to the Early Learning Centre and bought lots of art materials (paints, crayons, playdoh, stickers).
CBeebies is pretty good too, specially if you're pg and tired!

Oh yes, cooking and baking definitely - dd at that age was very good at putting things into things (eg putting potato peelings into a paper bag)....

I try and do something in the mornings that gets me out of the house ie walk into town, library, toddler group and then home for lunch and a sleep and then in the afternoon either a walk to the shops or park, cook dinner and eat. Hardly exciting but a bit of structure keeps me sane.

I agree with what everyone else who has said that they kep to survival is routine and getting out of the house.

I used to head out of the house by 10 and do an organised activity of some sort in the morning. Swimming, playgroup, music group, library etc.. Then we could go home have lunch and hopefully have a nap.

Going out and meeting other adults also kept me sane!

We also do cooking, drawing, painting, playdough, paper mache etc at home in the afternoon. Then from 4.30 till dinner time its Cbeebies because by that time I am exhausted. HTH

Definitely join a playgroup not for him but for you! Also it was actually easier being motivated and cheerful with two dcs, because it didn't seem so artificial spending all day entertaining just one child. There are always lots of other mothers with babies at the toddler groups too, and that really helps.

Also you don't have to be supermum,home is not nursery, you don't have to cram in all the messy play activities into one day. A train set like brio, a toy garage, sandpit, a sink full of plastic saucepans (washing up) and a ride on toy might be all you need. Some little boys are just not interested in cooking or drawing or craft (maybe that was just mine). Story tapes are great with a book to look at in your lap, as are action rhymes. But most important are some other mums to chat to, visit. That will make your ds's day.

hello. I am only home 2 days per week with my dd and that's enough for me so i completely empathise with you (except for the pregnancy bit). DD is 15 months.

I spend one of my days like this:

get up at ungodly hour
walk dog
read stories
leave house and go to playgroup 10-11:30 (leave house 9:30ish and go via shops)
back for 12 and her nap.
1:30 ish swimming
3pm home and play with toys time
5pm tea and tv
6pm bath
7pm bed

my other day i ALWAYS arrange to see a friend - anyone anywhere, and usually either make it 10-2ish or 2-5ish, it gives me something to look forward to!

If I worked less I would probably get involved in more toddler groups/music sessions/baby language groups etc (have you got nct groups/childrens centre near you) basically anything that would get me out of the house and with adults for some of each day!

libraries are also good places, as are soft play centres.

HTH

bf saved me as I could bf & look after ds at the sametime. My other little ones never really noticed I was carrying dd around with me.

imho you don't need to do lots of activities - a tub of crayons, sorting out things, playing cars/trains can be enough to make a good day.

Don't worry - it's much easier with a toddler and a baby than where you're at now!!!

I would recommend gearing your day towards the toddler and then baby can just be dragged along when he/she arrives.
Have a little think about the types of things he seems to enjoy...e.g. 'hiding', sweeping, messy play, books, cars etc etc etc - literally scribble a list of one word ideas on a piece of paper and tape it firmly to a kitchen cupboard for an easy reminder.

You definitely need to leave the house at least once and preferably twice a day. Every day, go to either the park or local library and then meet up with a friend at theirs or yours / out somewhere daily if poss too. It's a difficult age as they don't seem to want to do anything for very long do they?? We usually stay in for half an hour or so after breakfast then go out and then pop out again 45 mins after waking from naps..

I would definitely leave the house by 9:30 and earlier if he seems to get tetchy before then. Make him walk as much as you can alongside the buggy as it will take longer and be an activity in itself and also be good exercise.

Brainstorming thoughts:
Park - swings etc or take a small bag and collect rocks, sticks and leaves, give him a dolls buggy to push around, kick a ball
Swimming (I can never be bothered with that myself)
Local library - often have toys in aswell as books!
Any playgroup you can get your hands on for 3 weeks and then just go to the ones you like.
Supermarket - they love sitting in the trolley but DO give him something to eat / hold
'Washing up' - standing at the sink on a chair / in the bath
Playdough
Plastic bowls and dried pasta / lentils and a couple of spoons
A bag with things that can be put in it and taken out again
Cars & trains
Helping with a household chore
Baking
Hiding - them or 'things! - big sheet draped over a couple of chairs / screwed up tissue in an upturned pot or stacking cup.

Must dash - more later!

oh yes - DO buy a cheapo UV tent from ebay as a pop up play house to be used indoors. they're fab!

oh and pull all cushions off the sofa and let him jump

My DS is 18 months, and although I now only have one day a week home with him during the week, I always found it a lot easier in the summer when we would go to park morning and afternoon and he would get a really good runaround.

Things he enjoys at the moment are:

• scribbling on any bit of paper (or the walls
• playing with stickers
• playing with bits of sellotape ('mending' things)
• playing with the hoover or a dustpan and brush. He'd play with the iron too if I let him..
• going to the shops
• going for a walk when its less bitter outside
• CBeebies (its only recently he has started taking an interest in telly, he likes Big Cook Little Cook and LOVES Night Garden)
• Playing with water and containers in the sink
• Play-doh and finger painting
• Looking out the window and spotting things together
• Playing in a den (big box or blanket draped over table)
• Watching me cook or making something simple together like cookies (and I'm a TERRIBLE cook)
• Making noises with cardboard tubes from wrapping paper
• Posting coins into a moneybox
• Having a friend around to play for a couple of hours

This made me look like a case for care in the community, but DD1 loved nothing better than pottering up and down the pavement with an empty paint can full of water, with a large discardable brush, 'painting' lampposts, our fence, trees, the dog other things that passed within her reach.

Surprisingly effective, if you don't mind the s.

oh yes - get yourself an allen key and give him one and then start 'tightening' all the screws on his cot / highchair etc and then leave him to it.....he'll be gone for hours

DD2 would also spend hours peeling sellotape off her hands and feet.

I could get through most of Sex & the City with a decent size roll of tape on a dispenser.....

Thank you so much for all your sugguestions! Mostly i think its just knowing that i'm not the only one who's seems to be wandering about in a daze for most of the day. I think once the wee one arrives then i can get him involved with the day to day changing, feeding etc. I need to get organised and make sure i get up and out and meet people.

Thanks everyone xx