What to say to a friend with PND?

[AdventCandleQueen]

Brief synopsis - Friend has a 6yo, 5yo, 6mo. Some marriage difficulties (love each other dearly, but very different personalities). Her family are mostly abroad.
She's been diagnosed with PND and put on anti-depressants.

I've offered help with cooking, washing, cleaning, babysitting, dog walking etc. But don't really know what to say.
I have 3yo and 5mo and don't want to look as though I'm rubbing it in (by coping when perhaps she can't) IYKWIM.
Sorry if this doesn't make much sense!
Just never been great with situations like this - I'm a practical person, not a chatter.

prolly best not to say anything - offer your help and let her take you up on it. When I had PND i would have killed for someone just to swoop in and take the kids for a bit without being asked and without asking first...."hello neeerly, me and DC are going to the park, and we wanted to take your DT;s too, come on boys, coats on....." I felt unable to make decisions for myself anymore for fear of getting it wrong, so someone making decisions for me for a bit would really have helped. When I went on AD's for a while, they really helped clear the fog - so your friend may find she is on the up pretty quickly and just wants to behave like any normal parent - so be ready for trips out together to help show her she can do it.

You are a good friend - stick by her

Thanks Neeerly. I wasn't sure if I should "swoop in" or not - don't want to be presumptive, but I do understand that decision making can be difficult! I'll keep my mouth shut and just do her washing up!

You sound lovely.

Sometimes I find it best to be up front and admit that you don't always have the right words, but are still there for her and are on hand for practical support. (and offer specific help as you have done already)

Thanks ladies. I'm popping round there later with some nice bubble bath and my marigolds gloves.

can u come via mine or your way home with the left over bubbles and the marigolds?????

just be up front and say you don't know what to say but are there for the good days and bad days. When I had PND I just wanted to feel 'normal' sometimes I just wanted people to come over and tell me the most mudane baby gossip and feel comfortable enough with someone that I could text (calling was too much) and say not having a good day wpould you like to come over and have coffee (meaning play with my baby whilst I switch off for a while) also I cried the day my neighbour bought me over a lasagne because she said I'd looked down - just turning up with a dinner you can throw in the oven is magic, I never fed myself well

I don't think you need to say anything.

Take her kids to the park or somewhere. I remember the Saturday my boys disapeared into neighbours fo the whole afternoon. I think it saved my life, if not just my sanity.