Best tips for coping with 2 year old and newborn??

[sjcmum]

I'm 39+ weeks with no2. DD1 is 26 months. She's been ill this week and v.difficult anyway.... I'm feeling this is the direction she could easily head when baby arrives.

I'm knackered anyway, and know that it will only get worse, and that my patience is likely to be majorly tested. But what are your best tips for coping and making sure life runs smoothly for both children???!!!

When you need to feed the baby but not necessarily your 2yo, put the 2yo in their high-chair with some toys, books, crayons and paper, a snack or whatever. That way you can keep an eye on them both.

It's lovely though, mine are 8 and 6 now. By the time the baby reaches about 2, it will be soooo much easier!

ds1 was 2.1 when ds2 was born and ds2 was 2 when ds3 was born. With both I just made sure ~I gave 2yo lots of time and attention when baby slept. We had books with magnets in that elder one can do while feeding. I found if 2yo wanted do it asap - baby will always wait for 2 mins and it won't hurt them. Housework goes out of the window though. good luck

Tru as often as is sensible to get your DCs doing the same thing, bathing, even watching cbeebies. It helps form their little team of two.

Try not tru

And I have photographic evidence that it is possible to get them to sleep at the same time during the day, not often but it did happen.

ds1 was 21 months when ds2 was born and I didn't cope very well and my relationship with him suffered.....I will second everyone and say you need to give dc1 lots of attention when the baby sleeps and, if possible, to take out your first born by yourself if your dp can look after the baby to the park or whatever. Make time for lots of book reading, colouring, trying to get the older child involved in the baby - so ''helping'' to pass nappies etc.

I think also beforehand you have to accept that it will be stressful and when everything is kicking off to try your best to stay calm I turned into the shouty mom from hell for a while....If all is crumblimg (sp) around you, Cbeebies always helps.

Also, it's really easy to expect too much from your oldest child once the baby comes along. You need to remember that they are also only 2 - so a baby still - and they will throw tantrums because they don't understand things. I found it hard to keep a perspective on this.

It is worth it in the end - my ds's have started to play together and it's wonderful to watch. My youngest adores his older brother
I hope everything goes well

I agree with Huw and jrs. It is hard work but when they get older they will be best buddies.

I had a hyperactive toddler, but an easy baby. I used to carry baby in a sling pretty much all the time so I could still play with ds (he hardly noticed we'd had a baby LOL). I used to sit on the floor to feed dd and play with ds at the same time.

My tip is to make sure you have your toddler strapped into the buggy (with a box of raisins/sweets/drink) if you are feeding the baby when out and about. DS used to run off whenever I had DD latched, so I had to run after him while breastfeeding (not a pretty sight!).

Make sure you have someone to look after your toddler regularly so you can have time with your baby. DS and DH bonded big time when dd was born .

Don't expect to do much else - you'll bounce from one to the other for the first few months!

Routine.

It gets easier after 6 months or so.

Treat them the same as much as much as you can, so:
Baby to bed when older one goes - even if you end up sitting in a darkened room with baby for the evening.
Bathtimes together asap.
Mealtimes together as soon as you start weaning.

Eat when they do, otherwise you never will.

My two have a similar age gap. I kept sane by

• plonking DD in front of the TV occasionally

• getting DD to "help" me with her little brother. She was very protective of him and would happily fetch nappies etc for him

• doing things with both of them, bathing etc. DD loved bathing with DS.

• going to the zoo / park and letting DD play while I sat with DS. I took a flask of coffee with me and a picnic for DD. She loved picnics

• getting a cleaner (worth every penny, I was happy to go without other things for having her come once a week and do the basics)

• accepting help from mum/mil even if they do tjings differently to how I would prefer

Good luck. Mine are 6yo and 4yo andplay really well together.

Best advice i had was to try to keep my then 2 year old to her bedtime routine.
She is still a fab sleeper now and rarely any hassle at bedtime.
My DS 12 mths however is a total nightmare

Lovely age gap, there is almost exactly 2 years between my two boys and they love each other and play well together (mostly!).

I found that the 2nd one just fits in, you are calmer because you know what you are doing and thus your second one is too.

Second the idea of trying to get them to do the same type of thing at one time. As soon as you are able to to bath them together (we had one of those lie back moulded seats for DS2.

Forget housework, just do bare minimum and try and have some 1 on 1 time with your DD whilst baby is asleep.

Good luck, it won't be nearly as bad as you imagine, I was dreading the jump from 1 to 2 and found it wonderful tbh, hard at times, but lovely esp when they start interacting

Still in the maelstrom of this - have 2 and half year old and 7 week old

I have found one of those soft slings you can put newborns into has been a lifesaver on quite a few occasions. Means that you can effectively carry the baby in a way that comforts it while leaving your hands free for jigsaws/potty use/making tea.

I try to make it seem to the 2 year old that her and I are responsible for the baby - ie we are a team that has to take care her. DD1 has become very protective - if any other toddler approaches she wards them off and shouts "my baby girl".

This can backfire in that its like living with a mini Health Visitor. If the baby cries DD1 call for me in a very disapproving way and instructs me to "make baby girl happy" and she is not impressed if I cant stop the wailing immediately.

Lower your standards.

Never compare yourself to friends with one child.

Don't feel guilty. You're providing your child with (hopefully) a playmate and lifelong friend. It's worth the chaos and shouting and feelings of not coping.

I used to go out lots, toddler groups etc, and feed the baby while the toddler toddled around. That worked better than staying in with a needy bored toddler.

Lots of nice tips on here I shall be using come Feb, bit nervous too

SJCmum, your toddler's timing co-incides with mine, he's 2.4 and since a few weeks ago suddenly threw "lie on the floor/shreiking "NONONONO!/headbanging/flailing arms and legs" style tantrums at the mere mention of putting on his coat or similar Feel like I have my lovely little boy one minute than am negotiating with a tiny terrorist the next wihtout warning.

I am hoping it subsides before no.2 is born...

Sounds strange but shower/bath yourself in the evening. Finding it too stressful in the morning esp if you have to be out (todders group or something). The other day I had a screaming baby and a toddler smearing E45 cream all over the shower cubicle...

Thanks for the tips and encouragement... some very good ideas there. DD is still going to go to nursery for 2 days a week (otherwise I think she would get bored stupid)... so hopefully I'll manage some quality baby time - but also really keen to keep up the toddler activities I'm already doing to give her some attention of her own. Housework went out the window a long time ago...... so that won't be a problem!!!!!

Thanks again and good luck to all those of you out there in the same situation!