Would you ever allow your dcs to spend xmas eve and xmas day at GPs and NOT at home with you?

[lilymolly]

Very complicated family situation going on here in Lilymolly land.

DPs brother has 2 children from his first marriage 1 dd (11) and 1 ds (9)
They live with their mother (who according to all family and friends is a bit weird and is bordering on being bipolar) I have never met her.....
Both kids are lovely and see their grandparent infrequently maybe once a month.

DPs brothers 2nd wife is expecting first baby any minute now and I found out tonight that GPs are having the 2 children on xmas eve and xmas day so they will not be spending time with their mum on xmas day at all.
They are going to their dads for lunch then back to granparents house.

Now I have a few questions:

Would you ever allow your children to spend xmas eve/day with GPs and not their mam or dad

Do you think its wierd that the DB and his 2nd wife would NOT invite GPs for lunch or have lunch at GPs house with them and the kids (and yes I know they will have a newborn but come on!)

Should I just butt out

Sorry if none of that makes sense, its very confusing

FAQ, yes, it was fine, great in fact!
We did it slightly differently, in that we woke up at Mom's (our home) Christmas morning every year and went to my Dads for 3 hours every Christmas morning.
We loved having another set of presents to open after our first, it only got more complicated when we got older and wanted to go and get drunk on Christmas Eve/had boyfriends/girlfriends.
It quickly becomes the norm.
Does your ex live close by?

Not something I would do.

Don't think it is your business.

Don't think it is necessary to call the potantial SIL weird.

Yes he's just moved back to this town. I know it's a fair way (for exH and I) to do it

This year I get to have them Christmas Eve, waking up Christmas morning the excitement of that, then he gets them Christmas Day evening (he's coming over about 4ish will stay here for a little while then take them to his) and will bring them back about 4ish on Boxing Day. Next year we'll do the opposite.

I'm just wondering how they will find it not spending the "whole" of Christmas/Boxing day with one of us (iykwim).

Well, I was prob older than your DC when my parents divorced, I was 10, my DB was 7. But I can't remember it being awful, it's strange at first, yes, but at least they will see you "together" for a wee while. My parents never speak to each other (actually, they did once have a conversation, 2 years ago, it blew mine and my brother's minds!) and there is a lot of animosity there (still, 25 yrs on ).

My next door neighbour's parents are divorced and she has them round (with new partners) for dinners/parties etc and it is so amicable. If you could have at least an hour of you all being there together, I think that that would make all the difference.
I cannt tell you how awkward and awful is it to know that your own parents can't even make the effort to speak to each/be in the same room, even on CHristmas Day (or your graduation/Wedding etc etc). Gosh I am bitter!

Thanks Lizzy - yes exH and I are now quite amicable (he's even been very patient with me now he's taken the old computer to download all my stuff off as I was going round in circles - and I've forgotten my password to log into my user account on it ). He even stayed long enough for a cup of coffee the other week!!

FAQ, I think that that is lovely, and extremely healthy for your boys.
Don't worry about Christmas (although make sure you get something planned fr yourself next year!) your boys will revel in it all, and keeping it amicable is soo much easier on everyone.
Well done you (do you want to try working on my parents???!!).

Mine too please! Agree that being together and being civil even if for a short time is important for dcs to see. It sounds like they will be totally fine.

Can't comment on their situation as presumably there are all sorts of factors that make this the best option.

But you'd have to drag ds away from me by brute force on Christmas Day (until he gets stroppy from too many sweets/over-excitement, then anyone can have him if they like).

My parents were divorced. We always had Christmas at home with my mother, then saw my Dad afterwards, followed by a big round trip of relatives as both my grandmother (Dad's side) and mother have birthdays in the couple of days after Boxing Day. Worked for us as we got presents at every house we visited!