Help me with this tidying up problem...?

[lljkk]

We used to have a rule that if the kids left toys anywhere in the lounge on a Sunday eve, they would go up in the loft for a while.

Result: Lots of items in loft, kids did tidy up a little, but mostly they raged at anyone who left anything out (each other or their own friends). They didn't want to tidy up after themselves, each other or their friends. The tidy-up-or-in-loft-rule led to lots of arguments between themselves and with any visiting children.

Someone other day said that she warns her DC to tidy their rooms, anything left on the floor when she comes into vacuum into the loft. Sounded a great idea, they do tidy up she says... but then I remember what a failure this was (for us) in the lounge, in the past. I can hear the complaints already "I didn't get that out!! It was [DS2 name]! He should tidy it up!" (even though DS2 might deny touching the items, the items are not in DS2's room, sigh).

So, er, how do I get past this one?

No tv until toys put away. It works here.

PestoMonster's rule sounds much more sensible to me .

Sounds good, but TV/screen time is already rationed and dependent on doing homework or a job around the house (like emptying dishwasher). I don't want to put more conditions on screen-time, make the bar too high they will give up trying for it, plus I can't keep track of so many conditions .

DC are age 4-9, btw.

oh well -- at least the lack of replies makes me feel better about not finding a solution myself.

If you want the lounge tidy, tidy it...

[this was always my mother's approach. It worked. We are now all adults who keep our houses as tidy as suits us because we had a very clear model of someone who kept the communal bits of her own house as tidy as suited her]

I could say all sorts of other things about having a storage box for each child so you can just shove the right toys in the right box and hand a full box to each child at the end of the process. Or you could decide you don't mind your lounge having the imprint of the children who live in the house. Or you could tidy yourself, considering every item put in a place where it will be found easily by its owner as a gift to that owner (zen approach - that's how I generally function with tidying). Or you could make tidying such a fun job that either you simply enjoy it, or other people are sometimes inspired to join in because you are so clearly satisfied yourself by the process (my mum's approach)

All do it together last thing before going up to bed - even DH won't tidy up without supervision I find this approach much more acceptable than the constant frustration/telling off/threats of imminent disposal method I used to use. I decided I'd rather live with the mess or tidy up myself rather than become a raging haridan of a mum constantly banging on about putting toys away...and believe me I was well on the way to it

DS1 is 4 so we do it together for the moment. When he's a bit older I plan to pay him Could look at it as bribery or earning pocket money depending on your pov

DS only 2.5 so it's still part of bedtime routine to take toys back to their 'sleeping place' before going to bed. Will probably have to find something else soon .
Good luck!

In our house, the second biggest bedroom is the children's play room. I tend to just gather up any bits left in other parts of the house and shove them through the door. They are periodically told that until that room has been tidied they can't play with their toys/watch a dvd/do whatever. They have become very proficient at doing it, and I get minimum complaint. The rest of the house, I generally do, although they do clear the table for me.
They are 6 and 7 by the way.