Still arranging playdates from old school feel useless

[tevion]

Hi
I know this post is a bit of a stupid one.
However my ds started at a new junior school closer to home in Septemeber and I AM ashamed to say that I still shying away from trying to get to know the other parents and have only spoken to one mom.
I would dearly love my ds to have some friends home after school but to be honest I am not too sure if he really has managed to make any real good frinds at this school.
His teacher did tell me that he always has somebody around him to chat to and does play with other children.
I don,t know why but I am not totally convinced that things are taking off properly for my ds on the friends front.
I am still unsure who all of the parents are of his classmates and I have attempted to arrange a playdate with a note for my ds to give to another boy in his class who my ds seems to like but I have had no response from it.
Another playdate I tried to sort out for my ds didn,t come off as the mom concerned wasn,t very forthcoming.
I just feel so depressed and sometimes wish I hadn,t moved my ds as he made some good friends at his other school.
The only playdates we are doing are from his old school, although I want my ds to keep in touch with his old friends I also feel that its a bit pathetic of me that the only playdates I am doing are from his old school.
I just feel so useless as I am quite shy and find it difficult to get to know poeple.
As anybody ever felt like this and does it look odd for me to arrange playdates from his old school and to have not managed any at his new school.
I do also get depressed about the fact that my ds probably wouldn,t even have playdates from his old school if I didn,t keep those going I am the only one that gets in touch with them to arrange them.
My ds is an only and doesn,t have anyone to play with unless I do playdates.
Sorry for the long boring post.

Hi tevion, I don't think it's stupid at all

We moved our dc several months ago to a different infant/junior school. It was really strange going from a school where we knew everyone, to one with 'new people' !

I too feel shy around people I don't know, and it's made a bit harder because most of the children arrive by bus, so there aren't many people around at drop off to chat to.

We also still have playdates with friends from the old school. I don't see it as being odd, I look at it from the point of view that it's always good to have non-school friends. And yes, I'd have to say it is usually me who organises them, but sometimes I think that's just the way things are.

All you can do with regard playdates from school is keep trying. The first mum my never have got the note - lost in the bottomless pit of a schoolboy's bag! The second mum may be even more uncomfortable than you with 'new' people.

Also some people are nervous about going to 'strangers' houses, so maybe try and arrange something at a play place or park?

We've had some people who've never responded, but I've just moved onto the next person, and tried again later.

I also think it's important not to worry too much about the fact that you don't know people. It doesn't matter if you and your son's friends parents don't become friends (although it may happen with time!)

Also remember that it's still very early days, so don't be disheartened.

It really will get better.

I hope this is of some use, or reassurance, even though it's a bit rambly and littered with ""

When is it his birthday?

I would have a party in a hired hall and invite the whole class.

Also I joined the PTA/'friends of' association because even if you are not very sociable the people who run the PTA invariably are. They will also be very grateful of your help.

But TBH I agree with Yoho, it is still early days and as long as he isn't upset about going in to school I wouldn't worry.

DD moved schools when she was in Y3, she is in high school now but her best friend is still the girl she used to sit next to in her first school. Even though she lives some distance away they meet up on Saturdays and I think the fact that they are not together every day has helped them to not become bored with each other.

I know it's difficult, I am very shy myself but you just have to put yourself out there and TALK TO THE OTHER MUMS! I would be a bit dubious as to whether the note actually made it to the parent of the boy your son asked - if your son gave it to his friend, it might not necessarily have made it into friend's book bag and home to his parent! Ask your DS and the teacher the names of those he seems friendliest with and then maybe arrange to have them over to play one day after school? Maybe you could do a little mini Xmas party near the end of term.

Also, does the school have any afterschool clubs he might be interested in - a shared interest might make it easier for him to make friends and you could get to know the mums by offering to pick up /drop off when you go to get your DS.

At my DS's school the mums generally take it upon themselves to compile a contact list of all the parents' address/email etc per class so that its easy for us to do party invites/xmas cards etc - is there anything like that at your school? Good luck, and don't worry about your DS, he sounds like he's happy to go to school and if the teacher is not worried, I wouldn't be either.