Help/sympathise with me - toddler tantrums on the way to nursery

[bookthief]

Ds turned 2 two weeks ago. I thought he'd had tantrums before but he really, really hadn't. Not like this.

So, he's been at nursery for just over a year now and loves it. Is mostly happy to go, is always happy once he's there and often doesn't want to leave. He's there three full days a week while I work.

Yesterday and today he's thrown the most almighty tantrum. Doesn't want to leave the house, has to be carried all the way there screaming and is in a terrible state. The screaming sounds more anger than upset. Nothing has changed at nursery and when I phoned to see if he was ok yesterday morning they said he'd calmed down in no time and was happily playing.

I feel awful but he has to go. Standing at the crossing this morning was absolutely dreadful, humiliating, nightmarish. I felt as if someone was bound to stop me and accuse me of abducting ds .

Is this normal? Is it a phase? Will he be ok in a few days? (we only have tomorrow to go thank god)

Is there anything I can do to prepare him for going out in the morning? I've tried talking to him about going to nursery and all the fun he'll have with his friends as soon as he got up this morning but that obviously didn't help.

Can you tell this is my first?

My DS is fairly vocal about NOT doing stuff

he goes to nursery full time and our morning is something like this:

"i'm not getting dressed"

"i'm not brushing my teeth/washing my face/brushing my hair/wearing my coat/putting my hat on"

we get into the car after him stating "I'm not going in your car i want to go in daddy's" accompanied by either a tantrum, tears or BOTH

When we do get to nursery he RUNS to his friends and instructs me to leave so he can wave from the window

does this make you feel better

he is 2.5 by the way

[watery grin]

Yes, it does make me feel better. I think it's because dropping off at nursery has been fine for so long that this has really hit me, and of course presses all those WOHM buttons.

Of course, to make it worse, a mum I hadn't seen before was dropping her very small dd off at the same time and looked very .

I'm guessing she was thinking

1. what has that woman done to her child?
2. what will that child do to my dd?
3. what sort of place is this anyway!?

I had a chat with her outside when we left so hopefully she realises I'm not a monster, ds isn't usually a monster and it's a really lovely nursery!

DS has been happily going to his CM for a couple of days a week since he was 11 months hold. He used to happily toddle in when I dropped him off, or run to her car when she picked him up.

I'm now 37 weeks pg and on mat leave.

This morning? CM picked him up to take him to toddlers for the morning (which he loves), as soon as he saw her he ran off screaming and kicked me in the face whilst I struggled with him on the stairs trying to get his shoes on. He was practically clinging to the door frame and she had to carry him to the car.

Yet I know that he will come racing up the garden path in about 30 mins full of stories about what he's been doing this morning. He is 2.4.

You have my sympathy - that work/motherhood guilt thing is v powerful.

Oh, it's no help to say this to you at all...but it is just the age. He will grow out of this. He is asserting himself against the daily routine just because he can. It doesn't mean he is unhappy.

I do feel your pain re: the hideous public tantrumming. It is so humiliating and just starts you off on the wrong foot at the beginning of the day .

It too shall pass

Wots, no that does help because I can put up with it being just his age and not because I'm torturing him sending him to nursery when he doesn't want to go.

I think we'll go with the buggy tomorrow morning which will cause even more toddler angst, but to compound my shitty start to the day the pavements were covered with ice this morning and ds the contortionist was almost dumped on his head at one point..

I found choices help. DS (2.3)now chooses his nappy (by the picture on the front)chooses which top he's putting on and which socks he's wearing. I don't mean endless choices - I'll get two tops out and he chooses which of the two etc. Giving him control of some things seems to have made him more compliant the rest of the time - until it all goes completely pear-shaped next week and I have to think of something else!

Will try choices tomorrow igivein. Although getting dressed was ok this morning for once.

I think not getting to play with crayons when I was trying to get his coat on was the probable catalyst on this occasion.

Oh he's so lovely when he's sleeping

Well, this morning was a bit better.

I gave him his lunch to carry in his Bob the Builder bag and he was very pleased about that so no problems until we got to the road the nursery is on. Not so great after that but there wasn't time for it to escalate into a full blown tantrum.

Thank god it's Wednesday. We don't have to go through it again until Monday (and it's dh's week to drop off - hurrah!).