MIL grief about starting to potty train DS...any advice gratefully recieved!!

[fordywastaylor]

I have a DS who is 21 mths old, he is a very sparky and a lively chap, with a very limited attention span. He is not dry at night, but we do have a potty in the bathroom, but so far he just has no interest in it. He has sat on it briefly but it got stuck to his bum when he got up and wasn't too happy about that. I am not in the least bit bothered that we have not started to try and potty train him, he is not really showing any signs that he is uncomfortable in his wet/dirty nappy. We ask him has he done a poo, but don't really get a reliable answer. Infact he is really only just beginning to talk and this is quite limited to car, more, dada (typical), train and banana. MIL keeps chelping on about her DS (my DH) who was dry at 20mths and her DD dry at 22mths - who cares, not I, but I want to try and fire back at her some sound advice on the signs that my DS will give me to suggest he is ready to give it a go. Maybe this post is more about how much she winds me up, but she is like a dog with a bone, she won't let anything lie...and never listens to me anyway I am telling myself that when the time comes I wont be a MIL from hell...god help me x

Your DS just isn't ready.

21 months is a bit early, but they will do it when they are ready.

Tell you mil that children develop at different rates, and a good thing she isn't competitive

i think children WERE trained earlier in the days of Terry nappies because children were much more aware of their movements than children are now.
Your DS seems very young to be starting and I wouldn't recommend it until he initiates it.

My theory is that MIL is telling porky pies about her experiences, then again 35 years ago they probably were desperate to get their toddlers dry using terry towel nappies and a bucket, that would send me potty (no pun intended)

ask her if you should bring all the laundry from his 'accidents' to her house....he will have 100's if you start him too early

When you say initiates it, what exactly do you mean?

Yes, her parting shot to me on saturday was "it will be cheaper on nappies" but yes my Persil bill will rocket!!!

Just smile nicely, and mention something vague about how theories etc have changed.

In another few months she will not doubt find something else to harrass you about.

You are his mum, you know best. Smile serenely, nod understandingly and ignore her.

Got Christmas dinner to get through with her, no boubt the potty issue will come up over the main course, I have revised the scenario many times in my private thoughts!!! Not a pretty sight.... You are right, in time she will have another bone to chew on!

DS stayed at her house overnight in Aug this year, when we went the next day to collect him she told me she had put him on the potty. I was angry, but kept calm and told he that we were not starting that yet. She knows my thoughts but still keeps at it....Surely her doing it will confuse any issue, and when the time comes we need to both have the same approach??

By 'initiate' I mean when he starts showing an interest in using the potty or toilet and asking to get rid of the nappy.

That is the only time i would train a boy before say 2 and a half.

Thanks for this, we are definately not ready in this household. That is totally fine by me and hubby, I wont push anything for fear of a backward step. I just wish I could put this across firmly to MIL!!

Definitely don't let her pressure you - she doesn't have to do the washing!

My DS is 2y 4m, he is mostly in cloth nappies. Like you we have had a potty kicking around for ages, but until last week he showed no interest in it. Then suddenly on Sunday when having some bare bum time he took himself off and had a wee in the pot. I was pretty . The slight fly in the ointment is that I'm not ready, I'm coming up to 37 weeks pg with DC2 and so still putting nappies on when we're out and for sleeps. When we're in the house he goes on the potty, wees and even a few poos. No accidents.

I really did wonder whether waiting until they ask actually works, but it seems to be our case.

I am SOOOooo happy to wait till he asks, every stage has been a struggle for me. Being my first it is the blind leading the blind, but I am convinced that when he can talk better than now, he will say what he wants. He has a very determind and strong character, so I am sure he will speak up when he is not happy with his nappy arrangement.

Sazz.... that is just what I tried to do, i said "your joking aren't you" every step of the way she has said things and reminded me of what her DS and DD did/weighed/ate/teethed etc....she has a memory like an elephant! She even ruined my finding his first tooth, she got their first by putting a metal spoon in his mouth and tapping!!! That nearly brought on a divorce I can tell you.

Why is it such a big deal to get them to start using the potty earlier and earlier? I really don't understand why on earth it matters? Who cares? The kid will do it when he's ready.

And what's it got to do with your MIL anyway?

As long as he learns to read, write and be a kind, warm person, what does it matter where he does his toilet at less than two years of age?

Some people need to be busier, I think.

I am sure he won't be dragging a potty about at 15, so not at all bothered!! MIL has an opinion on everything...Just wonder is there a special topic list dedicated to MIL's??

It's called AIBU

She does realise that this doesn't go on your DS's CV doesn't she? You're right: in a few years who's going to care. Let him do it when he's ready.

Blame your own pathetic heredity. It works for me:

DW: "I'm worried about DD1 she's not doing well (insert random under performance here)

Me: "Don't expect too much of her, love. Remember, she's a Zebra: we're quitters...."