How do I deal with this playground tiff?

[DiscoDizzy]

DD1 (5) has come home today saying she was crying at lunchtime because a girl she doesn't really play with was pulling her hair and another girl who she does play with was hitting her. She says she hit her back but was hit again so told playground assistant (who I know) who told them to play nice. This was apparently because she was sticking up for one of her other friends who was being picked on. I know the mother of the girl who hit and we do go out etc, the other mother I know but we only really say hi. Do I mention anything i.e. send text saying 'I hear our DD's had a bit of a fisticuffs at lunchtime' or do I just leave it or do I mention it to the school who presumably already know. This is the first time this sort of thing has happened to her so i'm a little upset for her though I know she's going to have many other trials and tribulations in life. Don't want to handle it wrongly and look stupid IYKWIM.

Sorry if that was a bit longwinded

I would wait until you see them face to face, a text could get misconstrued.

If it was a one-off I'd probably leave it but if you want to take some action probably best to speak to the class teacher to make him / her aware rather than contact the other mother(s).

Hmm, we have all got a party tomorrow. Still at the stage where all parents convene to watch their children. I know i'd probably be wasting my time speaking to one mother (friend) because her DD would spin it around so that it wasn't her fault - she's had much practice and is very manipulative and bossy amongst the other children. You can only play with the right colour socks, the right hair etc. Now I sound bitter - didn't mean to.

To clarify, I'd just mention it in a jokey way, and then it's not hanging over you all.

One of the other Mom's at school did this the other day after her son had been fighting, (just said exactly what you'd said about fisticuffs) and I was very ashamed as my first thought if another boy had been thumping my son would have been to shout at the other lad .

But the Mom's were just chatting nicely, decided it was because of playing Powerrangers and all was well. Made me decide to be less hot headed if it happens to me!

Its awkward also when you do only get one side of the story, i'm going to find out what the girl who was picked on has to say (via her mother (my best friend)). I'm not in a hot headed mood about it, just concerned that my daughter has been hurt by her friend and it has upset me a little.

Don't be upset, DS1 has just started reception and I'm waiting for all of this to happen.
Children play, they can be mean to each other, just don't let it affect your friendships and try and move on. I bet they'll all be fine.
I am a terrible hothead, when DS1 was bitten by another boy at nursery my DH had to physically restrain me from going round to his parents house (thank god, what would I have said???), DS1 is no angel and have realised he can instigate things too.

I'd mention it to the teacher. If the pushing / hitting happened at lunchtime, teacher may be unaware because lunchtime supervision is often done by non-teaching staff.

I definitely wouldn't text. Likely to go horribly wrong if you do.

Well after speaking to my friend who had had a chat with her DD I have decided to have a quick word with the teacher and just ask if they could keep an eye on her because she was very upset today after an incident at lunch. Apparently she'd been crying most of the afternoon. I'm starting to feel very annoyed but know I must calm down.